i wish i could see your grief,
lead them by my own two hands,
then give them a room big enough in
me to fit them and their lingering shadows.

i am a terrible shapeshifter
for no matter how much i shift my shape
i'll always be what i am within
cruel, wicked, broken
worthless

do you think life will ever
give us a chance
or rather
the privilege:
to redeem ourselves,
to forgive our wounds,
to walk toward happiness?

you were not my first kiss,
but you were my firsts;
head kisses
warm hugs
out all-nighters
candid pictures
i-got-locked-out-let-me-spend-the-night-at-your-places
c­omfort
breakdowns
flowers to give
irrational thoughts
uncontrollable crying
sunset-watching beach trip
stargazing but there was only one star trip
share a drink with two straws
hands in your jackets
midnight strolls
person to wake up to
food frenzy dates
out of town trip
concert dates
love-mades
longing
heart aches
heartbreaks
love, that i couldn't imagine a future with
love, that would **** me to not have a future with

you cannot break me
more, or even at all
you have no power
to break what has
already been
broken