Too many days
have gone by in worry
too many nights
in nightmares

Too many afternoons
in soppy tears
too many mornings
with short breath

There are no happy endings
only endings
only means to an end
only dying to live
beyond our means

I owe you my life
My wisdom
My talents
My strengths
My beauty.
I thought I knew myself but
I’ll never know me like
How you've known me.
And somehow
You looked passed the ugly
And deemed me
Deserving.
Pulled me to safety
Away from the edge
Inspired within me an urge
To give you my pledge
To serve.

When I thought I reached a peak
I was proven to be short-sighted.
When I was presented with the answers
My heart was delighted
And my soul lifted.
You are like the stick my stem is stuck to
As I grow tall, broad and straight.
You are the rope I hold on to
As I climbed and floated,
And you weren't bothered by my weight.

You’re a friend to me,
You’re the 'someone I always wanted'.
Heard me cry scream and sob
And you were patient when insulted.
And so I live by your mercy
As you've been exalted,
And I pledge to continue serving
So that I can prove to you
To myself
That I am deserving.

Thunder rages on outside.
I am not the only traveler
who has not repaid his debt.
It attempts to scare me
into succumbing to the dark
and to the rain.
I would like rain
to accompany me on my
endeavors.
But I’m too much indebted
to afford it.
The skies want their
money back
and the heavens
have sent lightning.
They need it back
to bring back order.
Such a concentration of darkness
in one mortal isn’t natural.
They demand it back.
They need it back.
They send the rains
to make me yield to wizardry.
I do not
and smile in hope
that I’ll belong to the rain someday
and rain will belong to me.

She got dealt a bad hand in life.
But she didn’t fold.
She kept playing.
She didn’t walk away from the table,
And leave the casino like she should have.
She keeps playing the hand life dealt her.
And she’s slowly going into debt.
Deeper in the game until one day she won’t be able to play anymore.
She’ll be out of money.
Out of cards.
I just pray it doesn’t come to that.
I want her to fold.
Leave the table.
Leave that lifestyle behind her.
Count her losses and move on with her life.
There’s more to life than that hand that life dealt her.
I just wish she could sober up long enough to see it.
I just wish she could see that there’s so much more to life than the hand that she was dealt.

You say you love me but you’re not
You say you’re going to fight and give it all you got
You say you find it hard to breathe
You say you’re mad at me but I’m the one who seethes
You say you love me but you’re not (in love with me)

                    ~ Tears falling, relationship flailing, love failing… ~


You say you need a place to stay
You say you’re asking me to find another way
You say you thought about the debt
You say you’re leaving but it hasn’t happened yet
You say you need a place to stay

                    ~ The time, the hurt, the pain, the drain… ~


You say you overcame the jones
You say you’ve analyzed it to the bare bones
You say you finally found the cure
You say you’re righteous, clean, happy and secure
You say you overcame the jones

                    ~ Familiar lies, thin disguise, love’s demise … ~


You say you love me but you’re not
You say you’re going to fight and give it all you got
You say you find it hard to breathe
You say you’re mad at me but I’m the one who seethes
You say you love me but you’re not (in love with me)

                    ~ Tears fall, relationship flails, love fails…
                       Familiar lies, thin disguise, love’s demise …
                       This time, this hurt, this pain, this drain…
                       Time runs out… no more to gain. ~



© 2020 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.