I think I'm startin' to get that feelin' again
That sinkin' sensation followed by intense anticipation of the end I feel I'm facin'
The hell my life is based in
Then I meet up with my fear of drownin'
Thoughts not safe havin' come crashin' in
Will I ever learn or is this far beyond teachin' a lesson
Up against my dark passenger, the undisputed, heavyweight champion
And the challenger, in the blue corner noticably panickin'
Just some guy with a crazy look in his eye but no business challengin' his demon
My Hyde side stays undefeated while I've never recorded a win
Bringin' my mental discipline into question
Knowin' my armor's thin
Knowin' I've already taken one to many to the chin
It's  constant whisperin' drowns out everythin'
Top tier manipulation allowin' the interjection of it's own spin
On this tailspin my doomed zeppelin always finds itself in
I feel like I should mention, it's not one, it's Legion
Not a friend, it laid claim and became kingpin
I could only watch like I was fifth in a five deep bullpen
No consent given, not even a conversation
Rushed past me like I was a doorman at a Motor Inn
And I stood there silent, broken, incapable of motion
Often thoughts and feelings are left unspoken
Paralyzed with fear, just standin' here like a dollar store mannikin
Behind a display of 151 and Heineken
Made it easy for it to find it's way up under my skin
I hardly even knew what was happenin'
Now I don't know where it ends and I begin
Not sure there's any separation

©2023

With that
A weariness crept up close upon me
Without a word or caustic look
More silent than a shadow stalks
More lonely than an abandoned Rook
It jumped and I fell fast asleep
Surely as weariness, consciousness, and companionship exist
I feel, as if only one of these can be
Whence awake

I try and stay calm but I'm starting to pace,
Memories discarded, a projected sequence
Of broken imagery through my mind start to race.

These demons singing to my soul
I can no longer face, they eating at my being
It's a gourmet meal,
they can't get enough of this desperate taste.

I'm directionless, even times time I waste
Losing myself daily
Even the air that I breathe,
Hates every breath that I take.

Without you my worlds just an empty space
You took my heart with you,
I can feel it faintly beating, in your trash case
Sprinkled with the hated words, floating in a river of hate.

I have to hold on to my sanity
Or it will get lost in this state
Was any of it even real, or was every moment just fake

My discarded feelings
Scattered and misplaced
Constantly searching for happiness
When you left, it packed up in a haste
Now I'm left with the broken shards,
Of a life that was never meant.

people come and go
leaving impressions behind
but does it matter?

The tired old Tortoise
painfully creeps across a
desolate desert