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Jonesy Feb 2019
Growing up as a child and a young teen was not the best,
The memories up to this day traumatize me:
I always remember the bad ones and never the rest.
Now don't take this as a sob story I don't take well to pity,
Just give me a few minutes to dwell
On a childhood that was anything but well.

It was the 29th day of March,
A long and eerie night
A miscarriage was near in sight
The doctor told her:
Its very possible that you will lose your baby
After hours of pain and blood loss
Came a bundle of joy with "cat eyes" that brought light to all a young mother's flaws.
It was a miracle.
"Its a baby girl, woah look at those eyes they are almost bioluminescent in the dark"
Parents could never be so proud to bring such a beautiful creature to the world.
"I wish all the best, to this little girl"

Life was great
But I wasn't truly welcomed
Some people my existence upset.
But as a baby and toddler, it was great all I had to do was breastfeed, cry and ****.
Then time happened and life became complicated.
My mom cheated (or was continuously cheating) and there was no preset
My dad wished there was a reset
And me... I was treated like an asset;
For money.
For **** sake my young years have been duped.


Jonesy 2019 ©
I want to start a new collection about realism in association with well origins. This will be the first poem of the collection; this collection entails basically my uncensored life story (and if u guys want to share your own life story too please do not be shy,  no judging) I hope you enjoy and look out for my next poem "Memorandum" coming soon.
Everything I will ever
Read will always be about you
Anything I see will always be
Similar to you
The boys after you will
Only pale in comparison

Before I met you  
Real feelings were a myth
Obviously, these could be faux
Whatever the case might be
Nobody will ever make me feel
       the way you do.
hopefully everyone gets this. this is the last poem in my sunshine collection so heres a short summary, This is a collection of poems wrote over the period of time a loved one was away. This is meant to show them my appreciation of them, I really hope they enjoy.
Don't get scared
When I say these things
Just like I'm not scared
When I feel these things.
spooky
I think it was when you made me hot chocolate with ice cream in it
Or when you kicked my sprained ankle
Held me so tight my brain short circuited








That I realized I could really fall for you.
this is the title of the first book i wrote i never got it published so i titled it a poem
How are you not with someone?
You're so beautiful and gentle
Funny and charismatic
Caring and unbelievably understanding
You’re like a singular sunflower in a field of roses
People always go for roses
Because they think red is the most
Love Filled color
A dozen roses does not compare to a single sunflower
Yellow means caution
This could hurt
But go for it
Yellow is how I feel about a sunflower

Do you feel it when you’re flying, or does that come naturally to you?
I swear I feel like I’m floating when we hold hands or kiss
How does it feel to be so precious and light?
That gravity can't hold you down to Earth
Such a genuine person
Funny
Smart
Really what's the catch

How does it feel when you walk into a room and time stops?
When you get in my car and my heart stops
A man who walks into a room and the walls collapse at the very sight of him

How has such an amazing person been hurt?
Who was in charge of that
Me?
I’ll never do it again

Have you ever met someone and just thought?
Is it you?
It must be because the walls have collapsed
“Hello,” I look up at you
i was reading ill give you the sun by Jandy Nelson 10/10
That is what I am doing right now
I feel brain dead
My mind has turned into overcooked pasta
I have no taste in my mouth
My eyes are halfway open
Fighting the intense need to pass out
The coffee has worn off
I am essentially sleep walking
Except I’m not asleep
And I’m not walking
I am a zombie who is writing complete nonsense
Its 5’o clock in the morning
November 13, 2018
A Tuesday
I am simply
At this point
Sleep writing
Is this even about you?
Well it's to you so there's that
You're cute as a button
Are you from Tennessee
Cause you're the only 10 I see
What are you ******* Adonis?
It should be illegal to be that ******* beautiful
**** I want to draw you
Carve you from stone
Build you out of clay
But I can only write
So, there's that

I'm tired as hell
But you probably look cute as hell right now so last thing
I ******* miss you dood
Alright goodnight
i was ranting thats all, not worth the read
It's a shame these are a “writer's diet”  
I have always dreamt of being a well-known author
Being on the New York's best seller
Even directing my own movie based on one of my books
To release a book of poems
That is just as effective as Rupi Kaur
I don’t smoke anything
But
I do drink black coffee
Like right now
Its 4:17 in the morning
And I’m up writing about you
Well us
To be completely honest
Most nights I can't sleep because the wheels of my brain are too preoccupied  
On coming up with ideas to do for you
Spending most nights up making you bookmarks with yarn as tassels
Writing poem that are completely inspired
By the way you curve your lip when you smile
Or the ways your eyes light up when you’re about to laugh

The small grin that appears when I make the dumbest jokes
The way you cover me when I’m being to scandalous  
Poems dedicated to the way
You make my heart compete in a race
And oftentimes win
The way you hug me so tightly when we were at your place in Alamogordo the morning before you left
The time you told me about the time you ran over that tall curb while leaving Walmart
Poems that are dedicated
To the fact that we get the same order at sonic
Or that we both thoroughly enjoy the perks of being a wallflower
Black coffee and cigarettes
Are for the greats
All I need
Is black coffee and you
And I can write a whole book of poems in a month.
i was so exhausted
I have no idea what you're to me
Or what will happen in the future
All I know is
How much you mean to me
In a matter of three months
One in which you were gone
You’ve been a constant in my life
A continued factor of my life
Why does it feel like I have known you my whole life?
It’s odd feeling this way
For someone who is just a friend
But not really
Friends don't kiss
Friends don’t **** for days with no end
We’re not friends
I have no idea what you’re to me
And I’m okay with that
Some say I am just wasting my time but
I don't feel like I am
I’ve always been told to build a friendship first
Which I guess is good advice
I have never been friends with someone before we got together

I guess there is a first for everything
I guess this isn’t really a poem
Just me saying how I feel about you
I feel like what we have for the time being is enough
We don't have to date next month
or next year
Or the year after
Because I trust you
I feel like you won’t ever hurt me
Not intentionally
I do want to date you, but I would never place pressure on you
I wouldn't want to start a relationship where pressure and forcing are the basis  
I want you to want to date me
I don't care how it is
Or what we are
Or where we are
I want you
It’s as simple as that
Weeb
i want you not sexually but emotionally
Please don't let me become a dalliance
Don't treat me like a defenestration  
Don’t be so reticent  
Don't be so hesitant with me
Just because I’m moonstruck
Don't throw me away
Because the light that reflects off of me is too bright


(in other words, don’t let me be something temporary, extraterrestrials are supposed to be immortal)
dalliance- a casual romantic or ****** relationship. defenestration - the action of throwing someone or something out. reticent - not revealing one's thoughts or feelings readily.
I feel like
We could invent telepathy
Just by breathing each other's air late at night
A twin but not
A clone but better
We both like to read
We both love the perks of being a wallflower
I want to give you the sun
You want to give me the moon
I really like space (as in galaxies)
And you want to explore it
Both of us watch anime
We both like breakfast for dinner
And maybe lunch too
Same shows we watch
We could invent telepathy
Isn’t that what this is
You to me are an anxiolytic  
A calm
Yin and a yang
Dark and light
Black and white
Two people who coincidentally met
We could invent telepathy.
anxiolytic- someone who reduces ones anxiety.
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