There are days
that I have
where I don't
want to face,
chewing,
or doing,
or running
the race.
I just want
to lay here,
head lost
in space,
but reality
comes laughing
reminding me
there's no escape,
so I tell myself
get up,
start moving,
you're being
such a waste.

Dream, little bird/ flap your wings/ feel the world/ don't look back/ I'm feeling rough/ dream your world/ 'till you fall/ keep on dreaming/ until you fall/ you're a bird/ born to fly/ keep on flying/ destined to die/ live your purpose/ dream my peace/ keep on dreaming/ beats will cease/ hearts born weak/ no harm dreaming/ a beautiful world/ my dream little bird

The computer dried my eyes out while streaming TV shows for a couple hours.
After being mentally exhausted my heart grows vulnerable.
My depressing thoughts cloud my head with toxic; mustard gas.
I can only escape reality for so long.
What now?
Not everyone can feel comfortable at home.
12:21 A.M.
I look outside my house to find the dimly lit streets welcoming my mind.
I grab my keys.
I grab my phone.
I grab my cigarettes.
Let's go for a walk...
"How are you feeling?"
*******.

Dear Dad,
I realize that I'm not perfect
But I realize now that I'm not worthless
I want to show you my imperfections & insecurities
That no matter how much I try
I won't ever concoct the perfect remedy

What I need to know is that I have love
In me, in you, even for everyone
I want to know what it's like to be alive
To feel emotions, passions; what it's like to strive

I can't tell you that I'll always know right from wrong
But I can tell you that I need to appreciate you
More than ever, before you are gone.

-Love, your only son,
Michael Madera