I think its time
I want to feel the homely sting
To lie under artificial waterfalls
and let my head drown in the noise
and still feel my own silence
and punish myself for the things they say
because its true
and its time I face it

no, NEVER AGAIN
you promised...

in that stillness moment i, questioning
why people stare through (and stare within, staring through)
that fuzz or mush like their covered window panes (staring within, staring through)
that shy window pane that turns

eeyoyvrbd   e r o e b y v y d   e  e  y  y  o  d  b  r  v

so that i (staring in, staring at) may roam in

eybdoryoyebordyoevydebdbeyodebedyobyobye

turning my mind to that fuzz and static, becoming fogged window pane
to look out (and stare) like rain droplets caressing
so rough they fall to pound that pavement
pavement so coarse and electric like the peppered mountain range
where i stand
my shoes fill like leaking boats
to roam, to wander, in that desolate diorite range (staring within)
questioning (staring through) as time joining
disappearing
as headache turns everybody to everything turns

eybd   oryoy        ebordyoev  ydeb       dbeyodebe           dyobyobye
ebdoybeod       ebdoeboy debot     vverbdyodv   verdbey    odbver  vebsrobe      ybddoeb

take the express to 45th and step over the yellow
line and track and train uptown and downtown to mid
town to city sitting in aluminum carts as
the white collars fall asleep in sync
adjust the ties and breathe the cold
air fogged and smogged around
the tops of the buildings scraping skies

how complacent are the suited
up for sleeping in the dull talking and shuffling
up one stands to fill his seat
reserved by a backpack and briefcase
clattering against the aluminum
blur as the buildings mesh outside the window
pillow for his unbothered head
dreaming nonetheless

You took my hand and lead me away,
past the clock and through night free,
out to the hideaway where the sleepless wandered,
we sat in the dark, under a tree-

Roots winding past our sneakers,
wet grass and muddied debris,
and stars meld into streetlights,
far past under the tree-

You took me into your arms,
you spoke so quietly,
but i'll never tell you that I heard,
every word, under that tree-

I know you said you loved me

I am the thunder that you never hear,
Suffocated in air and light;
Electricity,
Fire,
Lightning’s tiger-
(The roar you associate)-

The fighting call;
The alarm,
Rough, harsh slice of the night,
Unafraid,

The creature caged,
The light you saw and died in nothing-
Defining silent isolation,
A cage, a room, a tomb-

A buried body still alive,
The suffocation, the air, the light,
The absence,
The void,

How unremarkable I seem from the epitaph, from above,

So high above me, are you, you stand;

You morn me, I am alive,
Alive and buried under and under six feet of fear and anguish-
Of all the pains of past and future,
Of all the unsurety,

I can still assure you;

I am the thunder,

Waiting.

One day I found myself afloat above the clouds,
Above thick gossamer mists created from the silver moon,
And those billows stretched thin across their deep canvas and joined in an intertwining infinite ocean,
Swarming around at their peaceful resonance so gently and smoothly flowing-

One day I found myself afloat above the clouds,
And I didn’t know where I was going