Making a mistake doesnt make you a bad person

Having your own opinion doesnt make you mean

Being sad and breaking down doesnt make you weak

Moving on and starting over doesnt mean that you're scared

Taking time for yourself and putting yourself first doesnt mean you're selfish

Feeling lonely doesn't mean you're all alone.

Standing up for yourself and what you believe in doesnt mean you think you're always right

You get to be whoever you want to be, this is your life. You make your choices. You accept yourself.

The people who love you will stand with you and the ones who don't won't be around for long anyways.

You are perfect just the way you are ❤

Darling I know you are looking at yourself in the mirror right now
Questioning what you've done wrong

I know your mind was racing all night going over every conversation in your head

I know you're wondering how and why it all went wrong.

And I know you're sitting there with tears streaming down your face, and you're blaming yourself once again

I know you're feeling like no one will ever understand you completely, I know you're terrified that you will always be misunderstood

And I know you're so tired of trying to explain and convince yourself, that you are enough, and that you are a good person

I also know you don't believe it.

Here's what I need you to remember...

Not everybody in this world is going to love you

Not everyone is going to understand you and not everyone is going to want to

Not everyone will think you're good enough and not everyone is going to try and see the best in you

BUT, that is not what matters.

HERE'S what matters,

That no matter how small you are made to feel sometimes

No matter how many times you are made to feel like a bad person

No matter how many mistakes you make

The only thing that matters

Is that you stay true to yourself.

You get back up.

You start over again.

And you forgive yourself.

And you love yourself.

Love yourself even more when you feel like you deserve it the least.

Understand that you know yourself better than anyone else and the only thing that really matters is that you start to believe that and see that in yourself.

No matter what the rest of the world may try to make you believe, you keep fighting and you keep loving and tou keep believing in you.

-c.m.

This whole night, it was almost as if alarm bells were ringing in my head non-stop

Trigger after trigger after trigger

I tried everything I could to keep myself composed.

Deep ocean breathing. Box breathing. Subject changes.

Nothing worked.

I was at war with myself the whole time.

A battle between my mind and its triggers, and the voice inside my head yelling at me for being so selfish, and making this night about me and my triggers

I felt like I was clawing at my brain trying to escape the thoughts.

Praying I could just be like everyone else for one night.

Nothing stopped it.

Trigger, they just talked about an event and didn't invite me.

Trigger I'm not good enough

Trigger nobody is talking to me

Trigger why am I like this

Trigger get me out of my head

Trigger they noticed I'm quiet

Trigger the tears roll down my cheek

Trigger nobody would have noticed if I wasnt here tonight

Trigger I dont wanna be here tonight

Trigger I dont wanna be here at all.

Trigger

Trigger

Trigger

I tried to shut the alarms off but they rang all night and I'm exhausted.

Trigger.

C.m.

Were fighting as I yell, "I'm angry why don't you just go away"
Inside I'm screaming "no don't actually, please stay"

My body has gone into self defense mode,
And with that, it becomes so hard to decode

I'm tired and I'm hurt but it's not all your fault
Theres so many secrets locked in my vault

You said you would be there, even when it got ugly
But I guess the fighting, for you was too much juggling

My emotions run at an all time high
I warned you this from the start,
You were still willing to try.

I explained that this is what I would do
But you wouldnt listen, it was all so true

Now I'm left with an empty space
You left my life without a trace

A part of me, you took with you,
that day you drove away, gone forever
I felt like I lost my mind that night,
But I understand now we're better of not being together

You never understood my heart, the way the man I deserve, really should
I'm not sorry for the person I am,
I'm just sorry you never understood

C.m.

Its only been a week since I last heard your voice

But I'm already starting to forget the sound of it as you whispered my name

Some nights when my mind is flooded with questions and memories and longing for you, I block my number

I call you.

I'm not sure why, because if you picked up the phone I don't think I would have any words to say.

But I know you never pick up blocked numbers.

So I know I'll here your voice on your voicemail.

I know I'll feel the tingling in the back of my throat

As I hang up the phone again.

The tears will trickle down my cheeks.

They'll burn holes into my pillow while I bury my face

Trying to escape this worthless feeling.

The voices in my head will come out to play.

Reminding me I am unwanted, I don't deserve to be loved, of course he didn't love you, no one ever will.

When the madness slows down for a second, I am able to find sleep.

And I still don't understand why I keep picking up that phone to call you in the first place.

But here I am. Dialing your number once again.

-c.m.

Last night my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her. As I was holding her in my arms while she sobbed, she asked me "Can you die from a broken heart?"


I told her no, you can't. But it might make you wish that you did. The thing about a broken heart is that you feel like you're life is ending. But it doesn't **** you . It just kills a part of you. And I think someday, weeks, months, even years from now, youre going to realize that losing that part of you, was actually a good thing.

But at some point you have to stop expecting people to be as kind to you as you are to them

While your heart is beautiful and lovely, so many have been turned so cold into stone

At some point you have to stop apologizing, when you know you ve done nothing wrong. You have to stop begging the people you love to stay in your life.

At some point you have to walk away

You have to believe that you deserve more and the right person will never let you believe anything else.

You have to stop trying so hard to make everyone happy

And start focusing on your own mental health.

The people who are meant to be a part of your life will always find a way to stay there.

So at some point you have to move on.

C.m.