little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.

Shattered dreams
and frantic streams
Of all my fear letting out screams.
I can no longer control it,  so it seems.

Constant fears,
Falling tears.
And so the darkness cheers.
I'm done with fighting after all these years.

Painful leech,
Satanic speech.
The voices screech
As the preacher began to preach.

All that's good,
And all that should.
Hiden behind a cross of wood.
To reach it, I never could.

They're pulling me back,
And that's a fact.
Hiding behind this hapiness act.
Pinning me down like paper behind a tac.

I'll never be free,
As you can see.
Drowning, I'll always be.
I'll never know why they ever chose me.

So, say "goodbye,"
And don't you cry,
For when I die,
I can finally fly.

Just keep that smile on your face,
Don't ever let it erase,
Just incase.
For when I'm gone, they'll need someone new to chase.

There is a line
between
pain and
pleasure.
But when that line blurs-
When the pleasure overthrows
your inhibitions
and the pain numbs your body,
When pain becomes pleasure
and pleasure becomes pain,
how do you know when to stop.

I glorify it.
I crave the taste
of the sickness.
of the disease rippling across my skin,
boiling in my veins
and flowing through my blood.

Is it Healthy?
I love you,
I love it,
but is it healthy
To walk the streets at night
in constant fear
not only of what lurks in the shadows
but of you too.

Anorexic bodies
falling all around us.
Mine included.
Skinnier by the day,
yellow nails chipping and peeling,
grinding of the teeth
to procure a never ending headache.

Pale skin;
cold to the touch
from lack of circulation.
Weak in your arms
an intoxicated mind
and a heart struck through with daggers.

Blasting screams
and beats
to block out the world
and create a throbbing in our heads.
Your freak show;
My guilty little pleasure.

So sick
So satanic
So tenebrific
So twisted
so disturbed
so disgusting
so beautiful
so broken.

cradled by poison,
hold me in your arms,
a monster in the shadows
with thanatognomonic eyes.

With my thanatophobia
You manage to keep me alive.

You do it to feel the pain,
as a confirmation that you're still alive,
But I do it to feel nothing,
to feel all this pain
all these repressed emotions
disappear.

Overall we do it to stay alive,
and shred away
our pitiful sorrows
one by one,
piece by piece.
For inch by inch
we come closer
to meeting the same
fate
of our cold,
useless,
easily forgotten bodies
lying on a metal slab.
Soon to be greeted
by the maltreated Earth.

A lying brother was paralyzed with fear
When the Father of lies drew his evil lance.
The devil threw his pointy pitchfork,
Signaling the start of the Satanic Dance.

The Power of darkness finally hopped and began to shuffle
With the day closing fast;
The brother lost his soul
As Satan danced his last.

The Thief twirled around the Tree of Knowledge
As hot sparks pierced the sky.
I know not why God appeared then,
But all was lost as He began to cry.

As God brutally tore off the Wicked One's limbs
Beelzebub screamed and slithered away.
God desperately searched for the lost brother's soul,
But, alas, the Serpent still has it to this very day.