i can feel you
distancing yourself from me
i can feel continental drift
i wonder, do the shoes
you wear to run from me
have holes in them?
or do you go barefoot
careful not to make a sound
in your retreat. "cover your tracks & don't look back" i imagine
your demons whisper daily
as you are growing fond of me
i wonder if your heart puts up a fight when you want to see me
or if it's a massacre
& the demons dance
on dreams you have
of us holding hands
do you wander to your car
only to find yourself back in bed?
do you put your makeup on
just to take if off again?  
is your imagination of me
a graveyard, or a pair of open arms
that are inches away
but just out of reach?
you see, what i've been so afraid
to tell you for so long,
why i feign sometimes
before speaking
careful not to tell you
all my unspoken promises,
it has to do with the night you had your head on my chest and confessed you never thought my heart
could beat like hummingbird wings:
i apologize for my silence
what i've been trying to say
is that my heart hasn't slowed down
since the day we drank coffee together
continents apart

this world is a ****** up world
a messed up spidery web
you make me feel like i'm split in half
i never even wished for you
but i still can't lose you

you're the atlantic ocean dried out
you're silent fireworks in summer
you're a cat that barks songs in C sharp
you're time ticking backwards
you're cells merging instead of dividing
you're a book written in punctuation

you're something i don't understand

and honestly
   that's what
       frightens
           me the
              most.

She found a
ending
not quite what she had
expected.

Dropping into the void of
herself
was all she knew.

And she knew that all she ever wanted
was
to be wanted,

what a shame.