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Monsieur, Madame, buy a memory?
Of someone blue and cold,
whose heart beats on flame,
and dances on papers old?

Or someone who once smiled,
as they danced on golden leaf,
covered in silver linings,
not knowing it will be brief?

Or you'd want something worthwhile?
A silver pendant or a silver blade,
both too beautiful -
enough not to behave?

See here, if none suits,
maybe you'd want the one with a somber black suit?
Standing near a slab of stone,
as he bit into the unholy truth?

Or a dance, one summer's eve,
Yellow lace, blue lace, green and red,
Chatter and sweet nothings said, or
Satins soft enough for your bed?

Pure, ****** white,
or glass slippers and ballgowns,
galas and masquerades,
entranced by your delight?

Or so I've learned what you'd all like,
easy, soft, vulnerable,
one with the sweetest core,
One that never asked for more?

How about this other one,
so full of tempests, untamed and wild,
bred in the worst of nightmares
and broken dreams of a child?

Lovely Madame, gallant Monsieur,
oh, but let me remind you this,
all is not blissful and happy,
or innocent and sweet.

I've had the memories who swam in too deep,
who drowned in their sleep,
who slipped on the ***** too steep -
and all they ever done was weep.

I've got the memories who were shattered like glass,
bright beating hearts who were never meant to last,
residing in Chaos for the pain to pass,
un-mendable, no matter how many spells were cast.

I've acquired
memories too roughly hewn,
too badly bent,
too badly burnt.

I've picked up memories long lost and forgotten,
thrown out and fallen,
put aside as soon as begotten,
cast down and trodden.

But there are... I think,
though I hope not all are taken,
the ones treasured and loved,
the ones held gently like a dove.

A smile of loyalty,
a breath as soft as a feather,
a sigh to signify they've gone so far,
but with much more good moments and a lot of blunder.

A memory of a light,
bright in the darkness, pure and clean;
a helping hand,
who proved not all was Sin.

Mine? Oh, no, dear madame, good monsieur,
I have neither owned a memory in my life,
nor held one so dear
as I said: they are bought;

By good deeds,
shared with neither malice nor greed nor wrath nor fury,
although we all have had to bleed,
just for equality and love; hand-in-hand, freed.

You'll see, you'll see!
It's not really bad or will be,
if you bought a memory from me,
the girl who sold Memories.
Soliloquies of sorrow
Cloudmaking with clarity
Pockets of fluffy heart
Nesting in memory
Mirrored truth cracks
Words like weapons
Silence reigns supreme
Opaque feelings drained
Shame on the shelf
Revealing translucent self
Turn the page
Turn the page
New chapter of thinking...
Entrenched in religion
Taught from my birth
I began to awaken

I branched to the path
Of a strict regime
Thinking there was truth
Eyes started to see
Contradictions

The others had shown
Had spoken to me
In an earlier time
I noticed there be
Repetitions

One day I slipped
From tight rules and laws
The elders came
To point out my flaws

You can stay they said
So to begin
Swear now on this book
You won't do it again

I knew well the book
Cover to cover
I looked at them
Thought of my lover

Swear I won't I replied
For I have not the power
To pledge for all time
In this single hour

For that book you hold
Says Don't make an oath
I refuse I say no
To your ungodly troth

So they turned in their pride
With their unseeing eyes
To wander in darkness
Condemned me to die

I thought I was ******
For a while and a while
Then the ones I knew better
On me they did smile

They sent me the clues
Gave me new keys
To follow the truth
Wherever it leads

If it leads to damnation
Still truth is the path
If it leads to pure knowledge
Home I'll be at last
Fly struggles in vain
Spider's eyes gleam in darkness
The silken trap worked

Spider crawls on paths
Spotted by the silent bird
Swoops in for the ****

Cat slinks through the grass
Eyes locked on newly plump bird
Poised for the attack

Echoes in her blood
Ancient times long forgotten
The call of the hunt
Each night lulled to sleep by the sweet tick tock,
Of the steady beat from my bedside clock.
Longing it to be the rhythm of your heart,
Yet echoing in my own as we're apart.
I dreamt of being held tight in your arms,
Though woke lonely to ringing alarms.
I quieted the dancing bells with distain,
Facing reality I'm without you again.
I reach for you the only way I have known,
A message, reminder, picture or poem.
One day, some day wishes will come true...
Nestled up close I'll lay next to you.
I'll fall asleep to the kind beat of your heart,
Embraced in your arms wanting never to part.
In the morning we'll wake still holding tight,
Just as we remained throughout all the night.
I'll give you sweet kisses to start your day,
My eyes telling yours all I need to say.
Alas each night, my dear clock I shall wind,
To dream of your heart beating next to mine.
Translucent feelings
Uncertain dealings
Waiting waiting game

Untenable desires
Plump opaque heart
Waif dreams

Dappled time
Smarm sublime
Plot twist ...

Hankering for fresh juicy thinking
We are both not of this world,
my brother of fate, my bhai
my heart roaming high in the angel crimson down,
your eyes looking eagerly to discover mine -
your world is there, but both we are on the same side
the same universe and sorrow of life, we are two birds in cage
and wanting to fly, while our wings are bleeding
my lips reflect the need of yours to meet mine,
my cheeks so flushed adored by you as the sun,
your cage is there, but we both caged on the same side...
Melting in my look, sweet pain of desire in you,
igniting the fire and love, I am the last saved bird
with white feathers of light, yet still closed
when you'll take me from here, my fate?
{november 2014 }
the word "bhai" means "brother" in hindi
Weathered stone
        Patiently waiting
               Watching seasons
                      Wanting only To return
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