-someone pray for my family to start moving forward.
-past regrets has my family still walking backwards.
-no gatherings, reunions pass due, no nothin’
-stay in contact mainly on Facebook or group texts.

-I never wanted this
-members can’t get past previous trauma that’s keeping them ******.
-most mindset are like “I don’t rock nor want to bother them.”
-man F**k that -ish
-let’s stick together, we still have time to heal over our egos,
stop trying to quit.

-family wishing to redo their prime past for a better paradise in mind.
-living now is the “fear.”
-since nobody wants to say it, I’ll express this  overbearing feelings.
-the fact my grandma still cooped up in the house feeling worthless
is dangerous cause she feels left out or no one wants to visit her due to “un-build relationships”.
-feeling unfit.

-most members from the Chi-Town calling me like I’m the man now.
-because they can’t get along nor grow together, so i’m their problem solver now.
-sad seeing the family drown, so I pick the pen up to write the words down.
-sometimes it’s embarrassing writing these words down
-but someone has to expose these generational curse truths now.

Privilege child
Actions foul
***** lifestyle
Poor decisions made as he smiles

Black home
Friends gone
Parents tired
Of him using folks, then disowns

Choices bad
Women mad
Memphis child
Lost the trust that he had

Spending cash
$100 stacks
Behavior uncontrolled
Finance is where his knowledge lacks

Lack of care
Pulling back each layer
The pain he hides
Someone come send a prayer

Man-child is grown
Leaving a trail of loans
Selfish son
Refuse to pay back what he owes

Stays equip
Snorting strips
High all the time
On cloud 9 taking another trip

Dear God,

I miss this person I associated myself with.
I miss their presence, their smile, their weird side, their love, their shyness, them laying under me.

However; I revert back to 3 main questions:
Do I miss them because I love them?
Do I miss them because I lust them?
Do I miss them because I left them?


December 7, 1977

Dear God,

I stared my killer in his eyes
as he express his frustration about the past
that he couldn’t redeem.

he told me:
“If I had another opportunity… if I had to **** you to regain what I lost, I would in a heartbeat. No questions asked my G.”

pure pain is what I saw…
killing him softly

instead of being frightened, I wasn’t, I respected him.
Not hating him, I couldn’t, but forgiven him.

in that short moment of him talking
made me understand the value of my young life.

what trip me out the most is that we just finished playing 5v5 ball on the same team,
while asking me for a ride home afterwards.

May 19, 2018

Dear Jesus,

When people say they are “manifesting” something into their lives.
~let’s add good deeds + intentions.~
They go out to get it in the “now” factor
vs. “patient” matter right?
However, in your eyes
does the word manifest cast sin?
That it is not of you, your will?
Because we use it so freely,
overtime
was this word(s) true meaning
swept under the rug
from those who came before us?
maybe it’s a unknown sin to our knowledge
until it’s known?

June 14, 2027