I still love you. Is that a bad thing? I can’t eat or sleep. My thoughts hallucinate at the mention of your name. I see your face. Everywhere; my dreams- you’re holding me close, and you never let go. Remembering that time we shuffled out over the desolate forest in our aging wellies- you’d squeeze my hand tighter for reassurance.  

I can still feel you’re warmth condensing against my skin. But it’s beginning to fade. .  And I’m lost. I’m beginning to drift away. Endlessly searching for that closure you bestowed within me. I need you. I’m lost without you by my side.

Everything seemed to erode when you’d left. The ache for forgiveness is still there and forever will be. You carved that dagger into my heart like it was funny. Like you found humor in my agony. It pierced through your azure globes as your smile widened at the excruciating pain you threw upon me. You just walked away and I shouted and I screamed;

COME BACK! COME BACK! COME BACK!

I just lay there on the ground. Numb.

You gazed deeply into my soul, robbed me from of the little purity I had left. You left me. Shattered. Broken. Unusable. You ripped out part of my heart as we said our goodbyes. And I still love you.

With absolute freewill a trigger is pulled
and the same fingers can caress a lover.
There is something deeply amiss with Mankind
a thirst for death masquerading as life giving.

I hate this world
of noise
and greed
That grows
much smaller with
each day.
Terror
Is the dawn
Of light,
Solitude serves
To shape the clay.
I fight
Though there is
Nothing left,
Struggle yields to
Slow decay.
Remember me
As darkness blooms
Know
My heart has
gone away.

The promise
of emptiness
Is no reward for
the miles you
Walked
on daggers.

Close your eyes and imagine yourself falling,
Your aching bones rattle against the stone floor.

A cave on a cliff, ready to crumble.
Looking out to the sea of normality and order.
But how do you get there?

The lonely, cold cave, knowing there's more to this.
Hoping for that better life.
But how do you get there?

The deeper I wander, the darker it gets.
Losing sight of what could soon be, the water.
But how do I get there?

The middle generation, the confused generation,
A lonely generation, a hopeful generation.
I know how to get there.

Close your eyes and imagine yourself falling,
Your tired mind released into the reckless, rolling waves.

My finger is dancing
Behind the trigger
While the barrel
Is pressed to my temple

Strip enough lights from our lives
and you'll find that we're all blind.

Feeling along walls,
and stubbing our toes
in the long darkness.

Be my light, my Polaris,
be my full moon in the night,
and save me from myself.

Save me from this begotten hell
that we've so carefully crafted
within our own hearts and minds.