Sitting in her empty room she took another long drink from the bottle of whisky
She knew drinking alone for her was quit risky
But she was far beyond caring, far beyond giving a ****
She thinks back on her life, she could see it was all a sham
No one looking in could see
Her life lay among the debris
Of what should of been but as time had showed would never be
Pure agony in diffrent degrees

She looks around her room in the closest hung her clothes
Most of them for work, thats the only place she goes
The stereo on a table
The music is her escape when she is able
In the corner the tv
She stares at but what's playing she rarely sees
Her big comfy bed with lots of pillows
Where alone she cries and bellows

Yes at a quick glance it all looks normal, but take a closer look
It's easy to see like all the stacks of books
On the walls nothing hangs
They are blank, there plain
No posters, not one pictures, no happy memories to look back on
Yes look close enough you can see something is all wrong

She's finally had enough liquid courage
To finally end all her troubles and worries
She goes to her closest reaches up on the top shelf
Takes down her revolver and clutches it to herself

With shaking hands she retrieves the bullets from the dresser drawer
Every inch of the barrel her fingers explore
She loads one bullet into the camber, clicks it back and spins it
She's going to let the Gods and fate decide if she is fit

She raises the cold unfeeling gun to her temple
Her hand is now steed not even a tremble
Very slowly she pulls the trigger
Stopping she didn't even consider

No one heard the boom
That resounded inside that lonely room
Over was all of her agonizing delirium
She didn't feel any pain as that bullet tore through her cranium
Her walls are no longer pitifully plain
They are now beautifully painted with her blood and her brain

I am the plague, a ghostly vapor
My soul bleeds blackness on the paper
If you're looking for a happy write
Don't read mine you won't get that sight
What you'll see is a glimpse of a spirit in total darkness
You'll learn just what the cost is
As a child thrown to the brink
And time and time again I sink
Like the platypus, I'm Gods little joke
Again and again I choke
On all the cruelty throughout the years thrown on me
No one hangs around to truly see
Beneath the scars I'm only human
Despite the blackness and confusion
My soul cries out
At times it a hushed small shout
At other's a battle cry
As I pick myself up and again I try
But my day's are growing short
For I am feeling out of sorts
Out of patients, out of hope
I can't even begin to cope
I feel I just might throw in the towel
I'm trying to figuring out how

Fill glitter in my veins and make my eyes sparkle..
With all that love you show to yourself.
Because you could only truly love me when you have fallen in love with yourself.
Turn that pain you feel into poetry, turn that spark into fire...
Show me you bare self like this exact sight was your coveted desire.

Reach for me.
I am the shadow of some solitary oblivion
My heart is suffering too much
Misery becomes the helm of the series
I lie back on the softness
like a bed of nails, it hurts me like it must.
The kohl of my eyes, so grey, with tears lingering all around.
I can hardly breathe anymore nor can I move.
How do you stimulate this amount of contemptuous pain and sorrow, so smothering in your mere presence?
But he, he lifts up my soul, all so vaguely right.
He makes me want him more, he makes me forget all remorse.
How do I feel this way?
In this surreality of my existence, like a solemn scene of bask and sorrow.
Perhaps I'll live, perhaps I'll die.
Just when did the night sky went so starry and the sun found a home behind the clouds?
And when did you leave so subtly and he moved in like he belonged here?
I am caught in a conundrum, though.
Is my head absorbing all the juvenile delinquency around  and exuding the most picturesque memories of the past?
It's a ridiculous predicament I am caught in the middle of.
Because the flower was plucked only to adorn the Bride's lush.

It is so quiet sometimes.

The silence seems to drill a hole so deep, incessantly, for long hours and my ears bleed.

I miss your laughter. I miss the way you whispered into my ears even when no one was around, breaking the silence in the most glorious way I’ve ever known.

The darkness of the night becomes a pathetic shroud that consumes me entirely.

I’d be okay with that only if I could feel your body around mine.

I don’t like this silence or this darkness but they are the same before I’d met you.

I loved them, then.

How do I erase you completely so I could fall in love with the night again?

The silence so soothing, the darkness so endless.

Please leave if you have to or come back.

I don’t mean to sound needy but I want to love again. Something or someone.

I want to fall in love so hard. I want to feel alive again.