Dreams take me away
At night and day  
Drive my mind to forget
All that I regret
Free from strain
Free from my brain
Dreams take my away  
But don't make me stay

Smiling on the outside,
While on the inside dying.
Laughing with the world,
While in my heart I'm crying.
I know what you would say,
I've gotta keep on trying.

I'm tired of putting on a show,
Every day from awake to sleep.
Be strong, be happy, be accepting,
And don't be seen to weep.
I'm done with it, I want you to know,
That my solace, I will keep.

It's been nice to know you all,
But, I guess I've always known.
That while you smile, laugh and play,
What separates us, has grown.
It's obvious that my future plans,
Are to simply be alone...

Who will listen to
the unspoken words
the unsung songs
the silent screams

Who will witness
the unseen pain
the unshed tears
the wounded heart
the restless soul

Who else will listen to the unheard?
Who else will see the unseen?

Halfway through the journey
Winter came to stay
The ones I met along my path
Chased the cold away

Memories of twisting
Beneath the starry sky
Kept the wind from swirling in
And pulled my spirits high.

Once I was a singer,
Though po-ems tinged my dreams.
The journey saw an end to that
And waking- raced from me.

Shattering and scattered
Like stars across the skies
Out of reach and far away;
I wished on while I tried.

I never really minded though
Or mourned the goals I lost
For losing each and everything
Was freedom's exact cost.

Explaining this to others
Was pointless to me though
For how can others understand
The open road's my home?

"Hey babe :)"
I said
And "Hey baby"
Said he
"Heyy"
I said
"Oh well"
Said me:
"Maybe he's busy"
"He always is"
Said the voice, taunting
"Maybe he's working"
"Isn't he always?"
Said they.
"He's too busy for me."
On the depressing, I feed
"But he loved you."
Their words flew
"Shut up, mind. He doesn't anymore."
"What a ******."
"I have Nick."
"And you're sick."
"No. I love him."
"And so do we, that's why he wins."
"You aren't even real."


*"But we're what you feel."

do you know what it feels like
not to belong?

the mind is aching,
searching for a place
to call home,
where you get tucked in at night
and finally get some sleep

a place
to feel free,
where you can dance in the rain
and laugh in the pale moonlight

but the thing you refuse
to believe

you reject
in the depths of your heart

is the search
will never stop.

A letter to my Tourettes

Dear Tourettes Syndrome;

I was diagnosed with you as a child.
I would try to hide you, but it failed.
You bruised my wrists and shoulders,
You made my palms red.
You caused me pain.

Kids would point and laugh, because they didn't understand,
You were the cause of my bullying.
How could you do this to me?
I didn't choose nor want you,
But I learned to deal with you.

You expected to be loved.
But I don't know how I feel.
Maybe I love you,
Or maybe I HATE YOU.
You hurt me physically and emotionally,
How could I love you?

It's funny through all the pain,
You stayed.
It's not your fault,
I was made and you were just another part of me.

I was ashamed of you,
You were a disgrace.
But as I said you are a part of me.
And I have accepted you,
Although I don't always like you,
I'm proud of you.
Despite the pain,
I want you to stay forever.

- StefC