Sullen stares lighting the way
Passing through this great abyss

Dreaming away
Losing control

Gaining doubt
My mind has gone
Leaving me here:
Stranded

I see the end
I do not stop;
desperate for closing

This is not what the world has done to me

But rather, what i have accepted from it

Do not follow me:
Off this cliff

Take the other way:
Reverse

See the hope, The chance

All that awaits you

Live your life
Don't look back

I have not seen hope
Much too long

I am done, finished
and incomplete

Emptiness is looming above
Haunting me with the hunger for more

My attentiveness, I have lost

I no longer see where my hope is

It must be out there
But who knows

Not I

Ability to trust: The key to faith, friendship, and success,
has failed me now

Completely and fully going against itself

Untrustworthy trust

Pure irony
Full truth

Nothing is as it seems

I no longer beg for justice
I have found I'm scared of the meaning

Let alone, what it truly amounts to

From all my houses
One is most forgettable
The natural defense mechanism
Of my toiled mind
Doing its job perhaps
A tad too well so that
I completely forgot my
Safe haven, located
Under the house which
Jutted out, so ugly, from the
Mountain side, so that
A small triangle, filled
With Ivy,  was my home
In the period
Of my life that is
That house, but with
The good memories
Of golden sunshine through
Lush green leaves falling upon
Discarded sandals and
A familiar English classic
Come the lonely hours -
The occasional hidden
Poison Ivy among its
Friendly peers hurting
Much less than
The sting of unwantedness.

Why do i do this to myself?

I want you.
In silence i beg for your attention.
I just wanna be able to love you & treat you right.

You push me away.
Every chance you get.

I cry myself to sleep sometimes
Cause the feeling of unwantedness you bring to me drives me insane.

Why don't you reply?
Why don't you want me?

Your words say one thing
Your actions say another

Your hands create a beautiful story on my body.
Your lips makes the butterflies in my stomach go crazy.

In the morning you disappear...

I just want to love you like you deserve.

Oh, whispering whine
of my evening tormentor,
on my blood you dine.
Your song of high pitch
heralds your vampire habit  
and leaves spots which itch;
Red, lumpy unwantedness
peeps out from my summer dress.

Why do i do this to myself?

I want you.
In silence i beg for your attention.
I just wanna be able to love you & treat you right.

You push me away.
Every chance you get.

I cry myself to sleep sometimes
Cause the feeling of unwantedness you bring to me drives me insane.

Why don't you reply?
Why don't you want me?

I just want to love you like you deserve.

just so you know, i can't be invisible.
for all my life, all i was, was despicable.
i am ******* weird i know,
and i am not nice, not at all no.
i too want to want, why is that too much to ask,
in the scorching, burning light of unwantedness i bask.
give me what would be a little break,
this is my ****** ******* face,
and i can't cast moon's reflection on any lake
it may look sad, it may look bad,
but tell me it's okay and that i look handsome a tad
how long do i have to ****** hide,
will i ever be your pride?

Take me as I am..
Why won't you just take me as I am?
I exhaled the broken glass as ash filled my eyes. My only resource now is to cry.
I am unseen , unsure of the bleak misinterpretation of how to love.
I am the girl in the dark corner grasping my face so you won't see my horrid unwantedness
Trapped in a hell of massive trash.
I am that trash.
Depression. It's not even depression.
It's a drowning.
I am drowning in the words of self loath.
Self hate. A strong separation of smiles that are fake.
Tease me.
My rugged attire makes me unpleased, unpleasant.
Just drastic.
The prowling of the night kills the rapid storms chasing the good I may see.
A teenage drama queen couldn't even express how depressed that line made me.

i am just a human being
life goes on despite the season
feelings change without good reason
i love you but we're not meeting
where it really counts

in dreams i'm kissing other people
at parties i get too ****** up so you have to come get me
you can't tell me why you love me
and it makes it hard to sleep
guess i'm a problem now

two years in and i hate to think
that my consciousness is splitting as we speak
there may still be hope but we
don't wanna be the one to uproot the peace

we've found in the monotony and unwantedness
deep down i want to believe you are the one but something's amiss
you don't touch me the way that you used to
and i can tell exactly why i love you

long silence
i dont want to tell you how i feel
i don't think you'd understand
and worse
what if i hurt you