A monster appears
like one from your childhood
An inner battle commences
Between the bad and the good

At first, you'd find them in movies
or under the bed
Now as you grow, you fear
The monsters live in your head

Disguised as shadows in night,
New monsters now appear
These monsters are sneakier,
They know what you fear

Struggling to breathe,
your eyes filled with fear
Trapped, alone, no where to hide
Can't escape, it's far and it's near

This monster is tricky,
It plays tricks on your mind,
You plead for it to stop,
But there's no where to hide

This monster knows you
It makes you question your past
With a bleak outlook,
You wonder how long this might last

The one place you felt safe
Before this monster invaded
Now your mind is no solace
Every good memory faded

How do you run from something
That plays tricks on your mind?
How do you know who you are
When it's yourself you can't find?

How do you feel joy from
things that now trigger pain?
How do you move forward with life
when only fear remains?

We all grow up
It's a natural part of life
No one ever warns us though
That life comes with great strife

No one ever tells us
To be afraid of our thoughts
Feeling lost and alone
With many battles still to be fought

Once this monster invades,
It's hard to get back
To a life once lived,
Before this monster attacked

Our parents warned us of
the bad guys outside
They never told us
of the ones in our minds

And now this monster has control
You no longer recognize the mirror
You pray for this to end,
For prayers fall upon deaf ears

You question your sanity,
You question your morals
This monster knows how to torture
To envelop you in its toil

You know you have a battle ahead
This monster can't defeat
Crippled by the past
You must overcome and beat

This is an illness
This is internal torture
But you mustn't forget
You've got a bright future

You must fight on,
Between this inner war
Good versus evil,
What do you fight for?

Fight for love,
Fight to win back your mind
Fight for family and joy
Fight for what you still must find

Monsters can attack
Anyone, anytime
Lest not judge
For you never know when a monster might prey upon YOUR mind





Author note: end the stigma of mental illness. Talk about it.

Uncle Christmas was mucking out happily mucking in and wondering what might have been had his twin not been sneakier and the first to emerge to claim the 'Father' moniker. 

Uncle found to his surprise he was quite content to be the deputy and not have the pressure at the top of the Christmas hierarchy. Rather he was happier working with the reindeer, being grubbier, a little smellier, leaving his brother to bear the fur lined mantle that was heavier.

However,
at each and every Christmas dinner when the family all got together to enjoy the post-advent breather, Uncle would still insist with his Christmas pudding grin that compared to his older twin he was far harder working,
a little better looking 
and definitely 
relatively 
slim.

What have these fairy tales made us afraid of?
Step moms and snakes?
there is more to life that living in fear,
And there is more to fear than being afraid.
Fear is a feeling of many natures and forms,
Including step moms and snakes.
Fear isnt only brought on by dark,
fear is in love too,
and fear is in hate.
Fear is in a butterflies first flight,
and fear is in our tummys,
when something is not right.
The Sound of Music showed us more than the sights of Austria,
It showed us how to sing,
Some times the fear is in what we already know.
Fear can control if you let it,
and after you see it,
its hard to forget,
But you can replace your with something bigger.
Bigger than the night time,
I am the stars.
I'm not in heaven, but when i'm
with you i'm
close.
You are faster than the night,
and sneakier than the clock ticking past noon.
On a Saturday, you are the Sunday afternoon.
The fear is less now.
You are ahead of my own thought,.
You know my bed,
You know i have zebra sheets,
and a red stain in the corner.
You know my body,
dimples and scars.
You know all the perfections, and defections.
The fear is less and less now.
Our kisses enable me to hear,
clocks ticking around the world.
you taste like...
words are to meager to describe.
There goes the fear,
There it goes,
out the window,
and into the hearts of those,
Step moms and Snakes.

Uncle Christmas
was mucking out
happily mucking in
and wondering
what might have been
had his twin not been sneakier
and the first to emerge
to claim the Father moniker.

Uncle found to his surprise
he was quite content to be
the deputy
and not have the pressure
at the top of the Christmas hierarchy.

Rather he was happier
working with the reindeer,
being grubbier, a little smellier,
leaving his brother
to bear the mantle that was heavier.
However at each and every Christmas dinner
when the family all got together 
Uncle still insisted with a jocular grin
that compared to his twin
he was far better looking
and definitely
relatively
slim.

The way
You cradle my ***
Steals my comfort,
Like a thief true to the black mask painted on you
You are not wood, but a trees revenge.
Plaguing my body with discomfort
Repercussive of the agony from flannel coated lumberjacks, way back when

Four legs
Must be sneakier
Than two, for no two legged beast has yet robbed me.
But my chair,
Does so daily.

Yet I
Come back to you, I
Sit atop of you
Expecting in your apparent antiquity
To soak some of that wisdom so often attributed to my elders around campfires.
I guess you only give me that gift when you burn.

And so
I should have known
By the hollow shout I hear
Echo when I trampoline my knuckles on your skin
As Dorothy knocked upon Tinman, finding not his heart-
Neither do I find yours.

Or is
It admirable
Perhaps, that you support me even as I presently slander you
As Atlas supported the world,
Whose stars that stabbed him in the back

For that
I certainly will
Return to you tomorrow
And while you are not the most sittable chair
you are at least my loyal chair

A ha!
The wisdom promised
Is found, without striking a match
And dancing around
Your burning, crackling corpse.

In fact,
I promise you this
I shall save you first
In the event of a fire.

It was 12:02am.
Saturday morning.
I was hungry.
So hungry.
Now that I think of it,
I was beyond hungry.
I was starving.
I was so hungry,
I could eat a horse.
And then it hit me.
I'll eat a horse.
And so I got into my car,
and drove to the nearest farm.
On the way there,
I hit a rabbit.
It was a gruesome scene.
I contemplated stopping and eating the rabbit,
but I knew in the end,
that was a bad idea.
I mean, it wouldn't even fill my appetite.
I needed something that would,
like a horse.
So I arrived at the farm,
and snuck into the horses stables.
I was sneakier than Bill Clinton,
that is,
until he got caught of course.
But I never got caught!
I got into one of the stalls,
and injected the horse with a lethal dose of cyanide.
I always carried cyanide around with me,
I knew there would be a right time and a right place to use it.
And that time was now.
I proceeded to pick the horse up with my super human strength,
and brought it to the car.
I tied it to the roof of the car,
and drove it home.
It was a glorious night.
I fired up the grill,
poured some apple juice,
because I didn't drink,
drinking is bad,
and had horse meat all night long.
It tasted like chicken,
just without the chicken.
I was a happy man,
and I went to bed with a full stomach.
The next morning,
I woke to a startling surprise.
I was in a stable,
and I was surrounded by horses.
All around me,
horses.
"We know what you did last night" one of the horses said,
as it stood up,
and cracked its hooves.
All the other horses did the same.
I closed my eyes,
and took a deep breath,
as I was trampled to death,
by the trusty steeds.

I don't fall asleep until 2 am
Because you're constantly on my mind
And when I try and kick you out
You find sneakier and venomous ways to get back in
So I lie here in my bed until 2 am
Until I drift to sleep
Until you leave my mind

Don't call it a comeback
My depressions been here for years
I still smoke myself to sleep
And calm my anxiety with 3 or more beers

It's just goes to show
That I should stay in my lane
I stare at the bottom of an empty bottle
Just to focus on something other than pain

I knew it'd come back
I knew it was too good to be true
Depression isn't a state of mind
It's something that controls you

You would think I'd be used to it
And that it'd get a little easier
But I really didn't see this coming
It must be getting sneakier

I don't care about punctuation
I don't give a **** about my grammar
The only reason I'm doing this
Is to try to feel a little better

It used to work, ya know
To keep my demons at bay
Now it's starting to feel like work
Because I have all these people watching what I say

I guess you can say it's my fault
Since I'm the one that posted them online
Maybe I'm just not meant to have something as simple as a peace of mind.

you taste like my favorite candy
so sweet i almost can't stand it
but you're sneakier than you'll admit
and i'm easy to convince
see
there are things you say to me
that i cannot stand
and they are not sweet
but it's not a lot of work to get what you want from me
i'll never tell you how i feel