Five hundred fifty seven people
Help populate this place
I know most of them by their first name
And I know most every face
We have three stops signs
Two traffic lights and seventeen dead ends
Most folks here are family
The others...real good friends
Our welcome sign's hand painted
Turned it out in fifty nine
Back when the township had expanded
Past the Mason township line
You see, I'm the local sherrif
Been voted in for thirty years
No one really wants to do it
You see, the town is in arrears
We've got one cop, a judge as well
A fire chief and jp
The thing that makes us different
Is that all of them .... is me
I'm the sherrif in a one horse town
That's up the creek without a paddle
You see, I do not own a horse
And I can't afford a saddle
We're mostly all retired
A few run stores and others farm
Since we're mostly all related
No one does each other harm
Our crime rate...nonexistent
You see, a bank's one thing we lack
And if somebody steals stuff
We just make him give it back
Our town has zero growth here
In fact our growth's recessive
Years back our former mayor once said
"We make the Amish look progressive"
We've a diner on our main street
Been there since nineteen forty one
Was opened by May Willicott
Her boy was fighting 'gainst the huns
Next door to her the library
the post office , then city hall
One thing you will not find here
Is a shiny shopping mall
Most folks here don't use money
We just barter and we trade
We closed the bank a few years back
Best decision that we made
Each year we make a purchase
Spend some money, not too much
We buy a book for the town library
We buy some magazines and such
On July 4th we celebrate
Independence Day as planned
We have a picnic in the town square
And folks listen to the band
Two banjos, drums a bass and horn
two guitars and one kazoo
Three singers from the local church
rock the old "red white and blue"
You can't find us on google
There's no road map shows we're here
But I'm the Sherrif of a one horse town
That wayward drivers fear
You could say that we're a speed trap
We're set up to get you twice
We'll catch you speeding coming in
And on your exit...just as nice
We bought the land outside the town
About 500 yards each way
And we dropped the speed to twenty
It's on the sign...as plain as day
It might be hidden by a bush or two
But it's there as sure as not
We take credit cards and cash as well
We make you pay when you get caught
You see I'm Sherrif in a one horse town
We have everything we need
There's no reason for a visit
But if you do ....reduce your speed

(man enters a tavern)
I'd like a room and a bath please

(tavern keeper)
a room I can do, but, a bath, totally out of the question

(man)
your sign says "rooms with baths", and I would like a room with a bath, as advertised

(tk)
you aren't from around here are you?

(man)
no, why?



(tk)
I thought not, so, I will say this slow...A room I can do, but a bath is totally out of the question

(man)
there is no need to take that tone with me. I made a perfectly legitimate request, as per your signage, and you take umbrage with me.

(tk)
I did not, and besides, I can't take it, if I don't know what it is. Hold on one minute....(walks outside, grabs a shovel on the way out...knocks sign down).

(tk)
(upon re-entry)....now, about that sign you said you saw. I believe you were mistaken.

(man)
this is the "three rivers tavern" as per the sign, which I assume is no longer hanging out front.

(tk)
It is, and your assumption is correct...it isn't

(man)
so, being the "three rivers tavern" would there not be three rivers in the proximity of this establishment from which you would be able to draw water for me, a bypasser, to get a bath

(tk)
yes...and no

(man)
what kind of an answer is that?

(tk)
Yes, it is the "three rivers tavern" and no, there are not three rivers in close proximity of this establishment from which I, a humble tavern keeper, and former owner of a sign, advertising, falesly, I might add...the presence of a bath in this establishment.

(man)
you are called "three rivers tavern" yet, there are no rivers nearby.? what kind of advertising is that?

(tk)
firstly, the sign was already made up, so, it was cheap. Secondly, who are you to question the name of my establishment, which I might add, is quite famous  in the region for many things, other than it's name, which, we may now be changing due to the sudden loss of our sign.

(man)
I sir, am Robin Hood of Sherwood.

(tk)
your'e not

(man)
I am. I am Robin Hood, Sir Robin of Loxley, if you please.

(tk)
I repeat...you're not. Not in those tights.

(man)
And what is wrong with my tights?

(tk)
Seriously? Do I really have to tell you that?

(man)
Yes, what is wrong with these tights?

(tk)
First off, Robin Hood, The REAL Robin Hood wouldn't be caught dead in those. Baggy, Saggy, there's leaves on them, holes...Robin Hood would have nice tight tights that were in good kip and accentuated his....

(man)
*******!

(tk)
exactly

(man)
No, I mean, how would you know what Robin Hood would wear? I mean, what I would wear? The condition of these tights helps me keep incognito in local archery competitions. If I went around showing ...

(tk)
*******!!! INCOGNITO? You are no more than a wayward traveller trying to get a free room on the reputation of someone else, namely...Robin Hood

(man)
My good sir, these are old, tights, ripped from swinging through the trees over time.

(tk)
If you are Robin Hood, tights or not...prove it to me. I'll give you the room, and go for the water myself.

(man)
How should I prove it, with no arrows, bow, and apparently no weaponry in sight. How do I go about showing I am Robin Hood?

(tk)
Use mine. Yep...use my bow, and I dare you to...to...shoot an apple off of his head over there. Oy....wake up. Catch (tosses an apple to man in the corner)
Put that on your head...he's gonna shoot it off.

(man in corner)
He's gonna what? off my...no he's not.

(man)
No, I will not. You obviously have me confused with William Tell. He's Swiss, they do things differently over there.

(tk)
You will, or you won't get your room

(man)
And if I should miss, what then?

(tk)
Not a problem. I've got lots of arrows and apples. We can just keep trying.

(man)
I mean HIM, what if I hit HIM.?

(tk)
You won't if you are who you say you are, and besides, I said I've got lots.

(man in corner)
But I'm your brother in law

(tk)
I've lots of those too. Now, here (hands arrow and bow to Robin)
Step back 10 paces, I'll open the door, and you....put that apple up.
One shot...hit the apple,....room and a bath....miss, and it's off with you

(man)
I really don't think...

(tk)
shoot or leave. Or...I can call the sherrif. If you are Robin Hood, he'll certainly want to see you.

(man)
Fine, give me those. (walks back 10 paces as the tavern owner opens the door).
(He fires, splitting the arrow in two, as the man in the corner slides to the floor)

(tk)
ROBIN!!!! Why didn't you say so? I knew it was you all the time. What can I do for you?

(Robin)
First, pick him up. Next that room. Then I have some requirements, that I need not be tested on. A bow, arrows, clothing, footwear. I need to look the part at the tournament coming up, when I do the big reveal, and I need the proper equipment. You, will help me with that, and seeing as how I have little to no money, as I said, I will need to put this on account which I will pay after the tournament.

(tk)
credit? You want credit?

(Robin)
Yes, as you can see, I am good for it.

(tk)
I saw you shoot an apple off a mans head from ten paces, not...win an archery competition with archers from all over Europe. CREDIT?

(Robin)
Here, hold this apple.

(tk)
Right, First things first...bow and arrows!!

(Robin)
I shall need to see the fletcher.

(tk)
that would be baker

(Robin)
No, I need a bow and arrows. I need a fletcher

(tk)
Exactly, Baker

(Robin)
I am at a loss. I need to see a fletcher and yet you keep saying Baker

(tk)
Right, The Fletcher is Baker. That's the man's name. You need to see Baker, the fletcher.

(Robin)
I see....I think. So I see the baker.

(tk)
You see the fletcher

(Robin)
Baker

(tk)
exactly

(Robin)
that's what I said.

(tk)
No,you said the baker

(Robin)
That's what you told me.

(tk)
No, I did not. I said The Fletcher was Baker. That's the mans name

(Robin)
Baker

(tk)
Now,you have it

(Robin)
Assuming I get what I need from the fletcher. I need a tailor.

(tk)
pastor

(Robin)
No, I do not need to see a pastor, I need a tailor

(tk)
That's the man's name. Pastor is the tailor

(Robin)
So, the pastor is the tailor

(tk)
No, Cooper is the pastor, pastor is the tailor.

(Robin)
I don't need a cooper, I need the tailor

(tk)
exactly. pastor

(Robin)
So, let me see...I go to see the pastor and the fletcher

(tk)
No, you see the tailor, pastor and then the fletcher

(Robin)
The Baker.

(tk)
Listen closely, or you'll never get your room. You see Baker the Fletcher and Pastor, the tailor. Not, the baker and the pastor. You keep getting mixed up

(Robin)
I'll need to write this down
Ok, for footwear, Cobbler

(tk)
Butcher

(Robin)
The butcher makes shoes too.?

(tk)
No. Butcher is the cobbler

(Robin)
That's what I said

(tk)
Look, it's dead easy, you go to see Baker, Pastor and Butcher and you'll be set

(Robin)
I'll end up with bread , a bible and meat. How does this help me in an archery competition?

(tk)
No...you see baker the fletcher, pastor the tailor and butcher the cobbler. It couldn't get any simpler

(Robin)
Maybe I don't need that room after all.

(tk)
follow...fletcher baker pastor tailor butcher cobbler. then back here.

(Robin)
No...I think maybe....is there another village close by.

(tk)
Yes, on the other side of the three bridges

(Robin)
Which, as we know, do not exist

(tk)
And...they speak Welsh!!! your choice

fade out

romeo is bleeding but not so as you'd notice
he's over on 18hh street as usual
lookin' so hard
against the hood of his car
and puttin' out a cigarette in his hand
and for all the pachucos at the pumps
at romeros paint and body
they all seein' how far they can spit
well it was just another night
but how they're huddled in the brake lights
of a 58 belair
and listenin' to how romeo killed a sherrif his knife

and they all jump when they hear the sirens
but romeo just laughs
and says all the racket in the world
ain't never gonna save that coppers ***
he'll never see another summertime
for gunnin' down my brother
and leavin' him like a dog beneath a car without his knife

and romeo says hey man gimme a cigarette
and they all reach for their pack
and frankie lights it for him
and pats him on the back
and throws bottle at a milk truck
and as it breaks he grabs his nuts
and they all know they could be just like romeo
if they only had the guts

but romeo is bleeding
but nobody can tell
and he sings along with the radio with a bullet in his chest
and he combs back his fenders and they all agree its clear
that every thing is cool now that romeos here
but romeo is bleeding and he winces now and then
and he leans against the car doors
and feels the blood in his shoes
and someones crying in the phone booth at the 5 points by the store
romeo starts his engine and wipes the blood off the door
and he brodys through the signal
with the radio full blast
leavin' the boys there hikin' up there chinos
and they all try to stand like romeo
beneath the moon cut like a sickle
and they're talkin' now in spanish about there hero

but romeo is bleeding
as he gives the man his ticket
and he climbs to the balcony at the movies
and he'll die without a wimper
like every heros dream
just like an angel with a bullet
and cagney on the screen

Alone in bed she looks around
Afraid of what's to come
The shadows dance along her wall
She hears her daddy hum

Tears fill her eyes she starts to cry
Up out of bed she runs
And locks the door; the **** then turns
And Daddy whispers one

"Don't make me wake your mother up
To tell her you've been bad
Come give Daddy a kiss goodnight-
You're making me very mad"

She turns the key and steps away
And Daddy walks inside
Slowly shutting down again
She crawls inside to hide

Alone inside her little world
She cannot feel the pain
Innocence lost long ago
Left in a ****** stain

Images fly through her mind
First her then Kristy too
Baby Carrie's next in line
Before the night is through

Anger builds around her heart
"Please stop!" she tries to yell
But Daddy's hand is on her neck
He knows she'll never tell

She struggles underneath his wieght
As he removes her shoe
She tries to hit but misses
And Daddy whispers two

His grip on her is tightened
And his fist comes crashing down
She tries to fight unconsiousness
As Daddy rips her gown

He rolls her on her belly
Pulls her close so he won't miss
Then he enters hard and quickly
As he gives her "Daddy's kiss"

The minutes seem like hours
As she opens up her eyes
And she hears the desperation
In her little sister's cries

Daddy thrusts in one more time
Then rolls onto his back
And she just lies there motionless
And awaits his next attack

She looks into her sisters eyes
And reaches out a hand
And little Carrie reaches back
And slowly starts to stand

But Daddy isn't finished yet
And Carrie's pushed aside
He holds her down and spreads her legs
And takes another ride

She falls asleep all bruised and naked
****** and surrounded
By the sisters she had reached for
While her innocence was pounded

14 years of **** and lies
She fall into depression
And suicide is what's to come
Of a childs molestation

3 days later a little body
Washes up on shore
A suicide; her wrists are slit
But the sherrif sees much more

The headlines scream the story
Of a young girls devastation
And the silent screams that go unheard
All throughout the nation

But Kelly's story isn't through
Her secrets now unfold
For she tells them with the bruises
On her body now so cold

Now the lights flash through the windows
And there's people all around
Asking all these questions
But we don't make a sound

Kristy hasn't spoken since they
Told her Kelly died
And I am little Carrie
In a corner I now hide

Handcuffs bind his hands and wrists
The evidence they found
Her body told of the abuse
When Daddy was around

"How many?" Mommy askes of him
"How many and God why?"
And Daddy looks away from her
And Mamma starts to cry

"How many did you do this to?"
And then he looks at me
My green eye bruised the night before
And Daddy whispers "three"

They met while still in high school

Most likely to succeed

They had big plans for college

They were on their way indeed

She dropped out while a junior

He continued to the end

She left to have their baby

Their plans, they must ammend

They married down at city hall

Their parents did not know

He wore an old, ill fitting suit

In her dress, she did not show

But here she was, six months along

Their perfect world was done

They were not sure how they would get by

With the addition of their son

He was trained to be an architect

But he started sweeping floor

Interviews were hard to get

Unless you knew the name upon the door

She got a job in retail

Working afternoons each day

It wasn't what they planned on

But they needed her small pay

They had a small apartment

More a garret than a pad

But, in the area they wanted

It was the cheapest that they had

Two years went by and another child

Had increased their home to four

He was working as an architect

And was no longer sweeping floors

Since college though, he'd had a curse

A devil you might think

For to keep himself under control

He was sneaking nightly drinks

As pressure grew and deadlines loomed

His drinking did increase

He was now a junior partner

At the firm of Flint and Meece

He was fighting with his wife alot

The kids were just more stress

But, he bottled up his problems

And he chose not to address

The fact that they were fighting

He was drinking every night

And when she called him on it

They would end up in a fight

He was going in hung over

Some days, he just stayed home

And when they called him from the office

He would not pick up the phone

One day though he went over

the line out there in space

When the wife and he were fighting

He hit her in the face

He didn't know just what to do

He went down for a drink

He needed time to decompress

He needed time to think

She called in sick for her next shift

She stayed home for two weeks

She stayed home till the bruise was gone

And the swelling from her cheeks

His drinking kept evolving

He was hiding it no more

Plans were being made at work

To take his name off of the door

He'd shown up drunk for meeting

His plans were never in on time

They offered him assistance

He refused..there lies the crime

The kids withdrew and feared him

They'd rather eat with friends instead

They'd only come home after dinner

When it was time to go to bed

Another fight ensued at home

When they fired him at last

He beat his wife up so bad this time

She ended up inside a cast

Her arm was badly broken

Charges she refused to lay

But the cops who came to see them

Chose to lay them anyway

This was her chance to make a move on

She packed the kids up late at night

While he was in his jail cell

She booked them all on a late flight

Her family would take them

She would move them to the west

She would start her life without him

It would be for the best

When he got out and found her gone

He sat down, had a few

He didn't have a family,

He had no idea what to do

Instead of phoning to her folks

To see if they'd arrived

He went on a ***** ******

Which most would not survive

He drank from when he broke the day

Most times, well after four

Then he'd drink until he would pass out

And would spend the night there on the floor

He reached the point of no return

When the sherrif came one day

He said "It's time for you to leave this house"

"Unless the taxes, you can pay"

He'd let things slide, and had no funds

His world was on the brink

But, instead of fixing things on up

He went looking for a drink

He spent some time in missions

Trying to find work he could do

But, when he would only get rejected

He turned to devil's brew

His reputation sullied

There was no work in his field

He tried to find work elsewhere

He would see what things would yield

He got jobs working labouring

Warehouses, car washes and such

But, when he kept on missing shifts

And was still drinking as a crutch

He got kicked out of the missions

He refused to toe the line

He would rather be out drinking

******* on some cheap *** wine

He was living by the train tracks

In the cedars, in the woods

He was sleeping in a sleeping bag

He was existing as he could

His drink of choice was anything

That would make his pain just go

He was drinking aqua velva

And in a pinch he drink sterno

The devil had his soul tight

He was on his way to hell

If his life was a big boxing match

This was his final bell

He had the world at his command

A family, and career

But, when alcohol took him over

He lost all that was dear

He'd climbed on up the  mountain

Worked his way up to the peak

But, his body was not strong enough

When the devil chose to speak

His wife and kids, they did ok

Their lives had turned the page

His kids soon did forget him

He was from a different age

They found him in the park one night

When the volunteers came round

They brought food to the homeless

He was dead there on the ground

His body had just given up

His liver had just quit

He died there in the bushes

This kind of end...a perfect fit

He had no wallet with him

All his secrets, they were hid

But they found inside his pocket

A picture of his kids

He died alone and helpless

At the bottom, not the top

He did not have the where withall

Or strength of self to stop

He may have died with nothing

Maybe, he died full of guilt

But, the world in which he left us

Was a world that he had built.
.

pass me grandpas,
old cough syrup,
strap into these stirups,
I'll ride this horse till dawn,
hope the sherrif shows soon,
cuz my six guns ready to shoot,

with the words that were written,
drawn in the sand,
a grave dug deep,
lye in your filth,

I walk this desert,
all by myself,
sand all around,
in this hell,
horse died,
about a half mile back,
got no bullets,
for this six gun,
empty retribution,

was I ready,
to **** this man,
a father and husband,
to daughter and consort,
lost his life,
to agony,
hatred,
Im just a man,
set ready defend,
what I believe in,
call me antagonist,
better than fascist,
should have shot first,
then you wouldnt be dead,
play the hero,
you thought you were super man,
your arms to slow,
so now I sulk,
why'd you want me dead,

I walk this desert,
all by myself,
sand all around,
in this hell,
horse died,
about a half mile back,
got no bullets,
for this six gun,
empty retribution,

wish I could **** myself,
to end this hell,
if this was your plan,
I wish i was dead,
me on the ground,
my blood runs out,
but i trudge on,
instead,
wishing i could **** you again.

In this world the Saints are Sinners and, Black n' White.
The cops are haters, and they start the fights.

I hear their victims scream at night. Yes--it feels like one big game of chess
where I'm the pawn n-- I'm moved around; can't make sense of up or down.

Never knew this place exists. I got cuts n' bruises on my wrists.

Saints with guns Saints are Sinners with Sinning Sinners that act like nuns.''Black is White". "Yes" means "No." "Up is "Down" cause the Sherrif's got me turned around.

That's right. Turned broad upside down n' kicking me, and I'm in tears --
that's right. Turned  broad upside down n' kicking me on then ground
---Oh, God --- Oh, God --- never planned to end up here.
this place is *****, and bleeding fear

Oh, God -- Oh God, wipe away my tears.

two little cowboy spiders  there names were jess and frank
they both got together and planned to rob a bank
outlaws of the west they just long to be
on lots of wanted posters for everyone to see

they rode into town to do there deadly deed
the robbing of the bank would make the rich indeed
they took all the money headed out of town
galloped on there way as the sun went down

the sherrif was call wyatt he got on there case
all around the country wyatt he would chase
eventually he found  them then a fight begun
wyatt shot them both and ended all there fun

now the town was safe no more robbing games
the spiders now are legends frank and jesse james

I can see how one tragic event
could push a person
to a ledge
when that person
was already teetering
on the very edge
looking down for quite some time
picking up loose dimes
on the street
trying to scrape together
just enough to eat.

They didn't plan on it being this way
they've just been trying to survive one more day
She is your neighbor down the street
in a small town where power has gone to the local Sherrif's heads
A mother of three
out of work so she steals a loaf of bread
while her kids play in polluted dirt
I see how her story could end
she didn't have any friends

Smile at a neighbor today
you might keep them
off the very edge
of a ledge
the gift of hope
while they're at the very end
of their rope
You might be the one person
that keeps them alive
just by smiling...
and, looking into their eyes
*You just might keep them alive