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Four little chests all in a row,
Dim with dust, and worn by time,
All fashioned and filled, long ago,
By children now in their prime.
Four little keys hung side by side,
With faded ribbons, brave and gay
When fastened there, with childish pride,
Long ago, on a rainy day.
Four little names, one on each lid,
Carved out by a boyish hand,
And underneath there lieth hid
Histories of the happy band
Once playing here, and pausing oft
To hear the sweet refrain,
That came and went on the roof aloft,
In the falling summer rain.

'Meg' on the first lid, smooth and fair.
I look in with loving eyes,
For folded here, with well-known care,
A goodly gathering lies,
The record of a peaceful life--
Gifts to gentle child and girl,
A bridal gown, lines to a wife,
A tiny shoe, a baby curl.
No toys in this first chest remain,
For all are carried away,
In their old age, to join again
In another small Meg's play.
Ah, happy mother! Well I know
You hear, like a sweet refrain,
Lullabies ever soft and low
In the falling summer rain.

'Jo' on the next lid, scratched and worn,
And within a motley store
Of headless dolls, of schoolbooks torn,
Birds and beasts that speak no more,
Spoils brought home from the fairy ground
Only trod by youthful feet,
Dreams of a future never found,
Memories of a past still sweet,
Half-writ poems, stories wild,
April letters, warm and cold,
Diaries of a wilful child,
Hints of a woman early old,
A woman in a lonely home,
Hearing, like a sad refrain--
'Be worthy, love, and love will come,'
In the falling summer rain.

My Beth! the dust is always swept
From the lid that bears your name,
As if by loving eyes that wept,
By careful hands that often came.
Death canonized for us one saint,
Ever less human than divine,
And still we lay, with tender plaint,
Relics in this household shrine--
The silver bell, so seldom rung,
The little cap which last she wore,
The fair, dead Catherine that hung
By angels borne above her door.
The songs she sang, without lament,
In her prison-house of pain,
Forever are they sweetly blent
With the falling summer rain.

Upon the last lid's polished field--
Legend now both fair and true
A gallant knight bears on his shield,
'Amy' in letters gold and blue.
Within lie snoods that bound her hair,
Slippers that have danced their last,
Faded flowers laid by with care,
Fans whose airy toils are past,
Gay valentines, all ardent flames,
Trifles that have borne their part
In girlish hopes and fears and shames,
The record of a maiden heart
Now learning fairer, truer spells,
Hearing, like a blithe refrain,
The silver sound of bridal bells
In the falling summer rain.

Four little chests all in a row,
Dim with dust, and worn by time,
Four women, taught by weal and woe
To love and labor in their prime.
Four sisters, parted for an hour,
None lost, one only gone before,
Made by love's immortal power,
Nearest and dearest evermore.
Oh, when these hidden stores of ours
Lie open to the Father's sight,
May they be rich in golden hours,
Deeds that show fairer for the light,
Lives whose brave music long shall ring,
Like a spirit-stirring strain,
Souls that shall gladly soar and sing
In the long sunshine after rain.
JM Romig Sep 2011
Thumbing through yellowed
crumbling pages of schoolbooks
meeting ghosts in the margins
Copyright © 2011 J.M. Romig. All rights reserved.
me Aug 2012
Of Nannies ‘n houses ‘n Pink Flamingos
Cars ‘n clothes ‘n foreign lingoes
The rich hate the poor, the poor hate the rich
Did you see “Her” today?
Boy, she sure is a *****.

How did they get here, a chauffeur you say?
‘Cause Mom and Dad are Always away.
They remembered her birthday
Or so said the staff
A party, a clown
Just make her laugh

The rich hate the poor and the poor hate the rich
Did you see “Her” today?
Boy, she sure is a *****.

He stood on the corner outside a shack
Schoolbooks in hand, his lunch in a sack
He remembered his birthday
Or so said his mom
His dad wasn’t drunk
Just tired ‘n run down.

The bad hate the good and the good hate the bad
Did you see “Them” today?
Boy, they sure did look sad.

All the dreams and the dollars
Or missing of such
Builds a foundation or makes us a crutch
Better built on kindness, compassion and love
Understanding that all are the same from above

We all hurt the same deep in our heart
Forgotten, abused, life plays its part
Dressed up in spangles, bobbles or beads
A yard full of flowers, garbage or weeds
Under the crust is a person who bleeds

The bad hate the good and the good hate the bad
Did you see “Them” today?
Boy, they sure did look sad.
Nat Lipstadt Dec 2013
Shouldn't we all be studying?

dedicated to M M Jones from Montana,
where I guess big skies make people think
about big questions and young poets thrive.



the butterflies of child-awakening
to the certainty
that school and
shame and embarrassment
were only minutes away,
once again,
is as fresh as
the flowers my love
buys every Friday,
fifty plus year later.

I would awake,
climb into bed with my mother,
telling her I did not feel well,
that my
stomach felt gray.  

I could not tell her that
the mocking I received by
my richer classmates at the
multiple lines in the fabric
of my corduroy pants
where she let my pants down
made me cannon fodder
for what we call now
bullying.

I could not tell her
of the heartbreak
when somehow the parents
of my supposed suburban friends
forgot to
pick me up for the weekly swim,
leaving me to watch
the sunset fall as I sat
on the stoop of our old house,
tucked away in an out of the way,
unfashionable street,
the shame still wet.

I could not tell her
of how two bothers tortured me
as I sat in the back seat
of their station wagon,
spitting seeds
on me like curses.  

Their older brother died of cancer
when that was still unusual,
and the mother wrote
a beautiful book
about his life.

I still hate them, those two,
fifty years later and it gives me
unusually great pleasure to
announce it to the world.

So I studied.  

Not my schoolbooks,
but lovely and ***** literature.
Friday afternoons, three children,
me the baby brother,
(anonymous, for they nicknamed me
brother as if  I was nothing but
checked off category)
to the library went.

Five, five was the max
they the austere librarians
and their coda of holy silence,
would let me withdraw.
(god I can see my library card still).  

By Friday night,
I had finished one or two,
ruining my eyes in
the lousy lamp light
in the living room,
falling asleep on the couch.  

this, reading addiction,
which afflicted the entire family,
I did well into my teens.

I have stopped reading
which amazes the very few
who know and care.

do let us re-pose,
let us repose,
the question:

Shouldn't we all be studying?

the answer of course is
yes and no.

my studying blue period
is long since ended.
now, my biographer,
will call this my red period.

for red are the memories that my remembrances
come back to me.
crystal is the clarity
of the indignities
I recall, though red,
is the anger
at the shame and
abuse I took.

now I can write what I have always held in my heart.  

those two awful brothers,
who loved to torture me,
I was glad their
wonderful brother died.

so this is my red writing period,
when the studying of a kind,
has long since ended
but the smell,
the memory of
fresh textbooks still can
make me nauseous.

Yet, I still study life around me,
as I clean countertops,
walk deserted beach isles
in early September...
this studying,
is the product of years
of studying the inside out
of me, and turning that study
fruitful into poetry.

why?
why am I writing this at 2:00 am on a Sunday morning?

I did not pose the question.

but it posed me,
and the dialogue in my mind came
sugarcane fresh and tumbling out
and will be both
recorded and recoded
("in the truth will out eventually" file)
after a fashion.

these days I sometimes study
my older poems,
whose titles I recognize,
but whose content
I cannot recall.  

so double digit delight
when I
meet again old words,
wondrous and trite,
that make believe
that all my studying
somehow paid off after all.
When I stumble on a young poet on this site, whose poems delight me, I will bring them to your attention. When you discovered me,  they forgot to tell you about this bonus feature, I guess.
His name was David.
I sat next to him in primary school.
He wasn't like the other boys, he had an accent, was sarcastic, really funny;
We laughed together all the time, I thought of him at night in bed.
I remember freckles, and a giant smile,
He moved to America, and I missed him terribly,
Thought I was in love.

I was fifteen and he was twenty-nine.
I wrote his name in schoolbooks, spent hours making mixtapes,
Wrote an overblown and sentimental poem
Which I later showed him, covered my eyes
As he read it; he let me down gently,
I was awkward and chubby but probably endearing,
And it's always nice to be adored.
I didn't mind ego-stroking,
I'd tried no other sorts of stroking, back then.
*** wasn't on my agenda, I don't think I even felt a stirring down below.
Was I a late starter?
Let me know.

He was gay. Well and truly gay.
And he practised flirtation on me.
Theatre school was where I found myself, and blossomed,
We indulged in drama together,
And there was lust, finally;
He made my body boil and churn.
Licked my neck as he walked past me to tap practice:
I melted. A friend, dear friend, my **** gay friend.
I wanted, really wanted a man for the first time,
Did he want me, even a little? Or was it all theatricals for him?
I haven't seen him for years, but I found him on Facebook,
Maybe I should ask?

Tom was a philanderer,
Lived with him and two other girls at university;
He got one pregnant, dated the other,
Secretly had **** fun with me.
I'm not proud, I betrayed a friend for my body's demands,
And not for the last time.
But I was insane for that funny little man.
Now I remember unwashed hair and drunken despair,
Now I remember what destroyed me, for a while.
I should have learned my lesson.
She's still a friend; she still doesn't know.

Andy adored me for months
And I was fully aware, found it thrilling,
But didn't feel the same, I was settled.
He was welsh, weathered and wonderful.
He crushed then got over me,
And suddenly I was smitten.
Agonised for two years, then I was over him.
We're still friends, it is possible
To keep them in your lives,
It is possible to move on,
To have something different together,
To be somewhere inbetween lovers and friends.

I reread those last five lines,
And wish I could apply them to the last man on my list.
Feelings came out of the blue, grasped me roughly
And stole me away from my life, from happiness, from calm contentment.
Intimacy of our era;
Messages in the dead of the night,
Stolen kisses, dark despair.
I. Have. Never. Wanted. Anybody. More.
I'm not over him.
But it's just another crush, right?
it's just another crush?
When and where did I begin, do I begin, shall I begin?

With vague childhood memories of growing up, in not too wealthy circumstances during the years after World War II, in a small part of a big town house in a little district town surrounded by mountains?
With being afraid of the chicken and geese my grandmother kept in our backyard? Of the delirious fever fantasies I still remember during two attacks of scarlet fever exactly around Xmas-time in two consecu¬tive years when I was 4 and 5 years old? (Must have been a real treat for my parents, and my grandmother, who was living with us!) Or with the fears and nightmares I had about having to go and fetch a bucket of coal from the dimly lit basement, whose dark corners in my imagination were full of hidden dangers and hideous monsters?
Or with the routine of crossing main street to go into the smoky old little pub with an empty mug, worm my way through the forest of trousered legs, hold up my mug and a few coins to catch the innkeeper’s attention, watch the tap beer fill the mug until it made a nice foamy crown on top, and then carefully manage the high steps of the stairway back up to my father´s supper table without spilling any of the precious liquid?
Or with first memories of suffering injustice, of a child´s most ardent wishes coming true (rare) or remaining unfulfilled (the rule), of happily riding around on a bright red wooden fire engine, clutching my favorite cuddly animal (of off-brown cloth, stuffed with sawdust, lovingly made by my mother)? Or with spectacular (and usually ******) crashes with my first wooden scooter, then proudly and even more daring with a precious metal scooter with which one day I managed to crash through the glass door leading from the backyard to the hallway and, miraculously, only suffered some minor cuts?
With the fast years of grade school at whose end where not only my first pair of glasses (much hated) and the then obligatory entrance examination to high school? Or, on  a quite different scale, the end of the allied occupation of Austria and the birth of a new, neutral and independent state - registered by me mostly because of diverse ceremonies that interrupted the school routine and brought unusual treats like ice cream or chocolate bars from parents & uncles & aunts?
With the first two grades of highschool, when I got up at 5.15 a. m. every morning and sleepwalked/scurried to the railway station to catch the express train at 6.15 a. m. that took me to the next Gymnasium 50 km away? With the pleasures & dangers of these daily train rides, the first cigarette smoked there, on the lavatory (with much coughing and a sinking feeling in the stomach); the first strange sensations - sweet and hurting - when a certain girl walked by; the occasional fights with other boys about God-knows-what-seemed-so-serious at the time? Or the memories of the huge fist that grabbed my heart when I saw my best friend, who tried to show off while our train was entering the station, miss the iron steps and simply disappear under the carriage - and with incredible luck resurface seconds later, white as a sheet but unharmed?

Or maybe with the hours I spent, after several years of not so enthusiastic practice (which nevertheless provided me with the basic abilities) alone with the piano in my grandmother´s salon, playing sonatas and dances and ètudes with growing ease and ple¬sure? Or with the bitter, bitter tears of pain and disillusionment when, at the age of 15, I had to bury my dreams of becoming a pianist because my hands started hurting terribly after only a few minutes of playing and the doctors told me, after one year of trying all kinds of treatments, that I had developed chronic tendonitis? Maybe with the many hours I spent reading numerous books of all kinds or sitting at the piano as an adolescent, improvising then popular songs (like the Beatles), or just playing some fantasy tunes, trying to give shape to my feelings and moods? With the memories of when I ´courted´ my then girlfriend not with words but with passionate songs played on ivory keys - and of my hurt pride and feelings when she, apparently unimpressed, preferred a more world-wise class-mate of mine and left me almost wrecking the poor piano with violent dissonances in e-flat minor hammered on the bass keys?
Or maybe with the first sobering experiences at summer jobs in steel mills, on construction sites, in the roofing business? And with the first 'wild´ parties during these summers at the garden house of a friend, where only a few years before we had been playing Cowboys and Indians, fighting the neighborhood boys, and where now we were sipping wine and/or gin tonics etc., smoking expertly, dancing to loud and slow music, hugging our partners close, feeling very wise, terribly attracted and at the same time a bit afraid of what might come of it?
Or with the final two year of high school that went by like in trance, filled to the brim with a hyped-up mixture of studying, playing billiards, dance class, dating, promising glances, secret meetings on warm summer evenings and at the skating rink in frosty winter nights, summer jobs, parties, the shocks about the death of John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, organizing the graduation ball, ceremoniously opening the polonaise, living through the ups and downs of the final examinations, getting terribly but wonderfully drunk on the afternoon after the oral finals and recovering sufficiently within two hours to gracefully play the role of the class speaker and deliver the public address at the farewell dinner ...
And then the final trip of the graduating class - two weeks together on the beach in what used to be a budding Yugoslav seaside resort (and now is a recovering Croatian seaside resort), with the sun and the sea during the days, dancing and wine in the evening, my first experience at a strip-tease show (rather pathetic, never saw another one) and, a few days later, a heated but somewhat inconclusive evening with a member of a group of Swedish girls that had arrived at our bungalow village...

... then coming home, parties continuing, but noticing how gradually the closeness of all the years of small class community begins to loosen, the growing awareness that a formative period of your life has come to an end, you will not go back to school again in fall ... and by mid-summer everybody has discovered that ... my highschool girl friend tells me about her plans for the future ... I tell her about mine ... and we quietly acknowledge (looking back, it is almost unbelievable how quietly this is done) that we do not appear in each other´s plans ... years of relationships grow pale and finally evaporate under the hot summer sun ... I work another four weeks in the steel mill, read, meet with friends for drinks in the evening, start thinking about how student life will be, what The City will be like ... eager to get away and yet a little hesitant of the unknown ... playing the piano often, taking my leave from people, from places full of sweet and painful memories ... sorting schoolbooks, putting things away ... already growing out of the room I have shared with my ´little brother´ ... out of my parents´ house, my grandmother´s world, my brother´s boyish affection ... growing out ... growing up?

                                                           ­                   © Walter W. Hölbling
Grace Jun 2017
I find you in the margins of old school books,
in the cupboard where I keep my old notepads,
in the stories I’ve forgotten I’ve written.
It’s all scraps of myself in rounded letters,
uncanny because it looks like me,
sounds like me,
but it’s you and it is you
but it’s like me too.

I’m opening you (and me) back up and I hate you.
I hate you, but here we are,
in the mirror maze,
all these mes and yous
in the endless tunnel of mirrors,
back to back, side to side,
caught in ourselves at every angle.
We’re all the same: We’re all so different.
None of us are good.

I hate you.

I hate you at every age,

Then reality splays, sprawls flat out in front of me, exams, money, work, decisions, tight nooses that bind me to life. Get your head out of the clouds, girl  *(2012)

at every stage,

Big smiles, A stars, clever girl, the anomaly, dry compliments, sand paper against my skin. Locked in, not a word, just a mind gone grey, a growing mass of dust that swallows the light and only allows for glasses poured half empty* (2014)

at every moment,

I don’t fit in, never have done, never will. I’m always one step ahead or one step behind. I’m never quite there. But no one understands. They say they do but they don’t. I’m different and I don’t like it but I don’t want to change because this is who I am and whatever happens, I have to put up with it (2012)

all your hatred, you happiness, your ignorance and your sadness

The scab peels and leaks. Too soon to heal, too late to undo the fall. Tomorrow, you’ll trip again and your skin will bleed but this time you’ll know where to find the first aid kit. (2013)

You make me sick.

The world was blue today, a metaphorical wish wash of tears and a meagre ocean. Ice cream dripped in depression, picnic blankets snagged on pebbles and the kite committed suicide on the telephone lines. (2013)

I hate the scraps you’ve left behind

I put bits of you in the bin. I put you out for recycling.
I donate you to charity shops and so you live on and I can’t get rid of you.
There’s no way out of this mirror maze,
no way to avoid the mirrors at angles,
no way for me to escape you or for you to escape me.

There are so many of you and I literally want to beat you all to death.
Oh, I hate you. I hate you.
I don’t think I’ve ever hated anything more than I hate you.
I hate the tone of your words,
I hate your stupid sadness.
I hate your happiness.
I hate your hope.
I hate the memories of your laughter.
I hate the memories of your fun.
I hate you for all the things you’ve done and
never had time to feel bad for.
I hate you in the photographs,
in the words, in the schoolbooks,
in the poems that I’ve shared,
I hate, I hate, I hate.

I wish I could smash up this maze of mirrors and you,
but then I’d only be left with myself
and I hate her too.
I think i overused the word hate in the poem tbh, but you know, it's a hateful poem. Experimenting with stuff...not sure it's working
Soft summer,
Misty rain falling,
Gentle breeze
skipping happily along;
Clouds hovering,
Dark,damp sidewalks,
Grass glistening
in summer, sweet rain.
Dogs in the distance,
Children playing,
Splashing puddles
they run on their way,
Happy singing
our magical day.
Yellow bus passing,
Mothers come running,
Schoolbooks falling
in puddles they lay;
Time being captured,
A summer,sweet rain.
Some women will scribble your name in schoolbooks
but never spit it out loud.
Some women float away like dandelions.
Some women bubble so much they spill
over the side of your cup of coffee.
Some women will leave a minty taste
under your tongue.
Some women say they hate you but they don’t.
Some women are constructed out of paper.
Some women copy others to make themselves feel good.
Some women are as a juicy as a pineapple
everybody wants the very next drop.
Some women will call you and say wrong number sorry.
Some women win without as much as a line of sweat
on their skulls.
Some women carry names inside their jean pockets.
Some women want diamonds.
Some women loathe other women but never explain why.
Some women will tear you open like it’s Christmas.
Some women live as if on the edge of a cliff.
Some women want thin.
Some women like big.
Some women won’t care if you don’t party hard.
Some women dance so well you will fall
underneath the flashing disco lights.
Some women have you as their favourite headache.
Some women teach better than any professor.
Some women hate the size of their *******.
Some women swipe husbands and keep a tally
below the floorboards where no-one has to know.
Some women have been singed
you could set them alight.
Some women won’t do what you want them to.
Some women count stars until they lose count.
Some women click their heels and make a wish or ten.
Some women can see their futures glistening
in the corners of their eyes.
Some women **** men with their lipstick.
Some women know with just one look.
Some women squeal as though
a toaster has been tossed in the bathtub.
Some women want three words three syllables
to swirl manically through their veins.
Some women would prefer it if you split the bill.
Some women choose click-flicks over ***.
Some women cheat when playing Monopoly.
Some women are left-handed and until
they write the wedding invitations you won’t even know.
Some women are fake outside but real inside.
Some women judge books by their covers.
Some women bleed red if they’re feeling blue.
Some women prefer Pepsi over Coke.
Some women drive wildly because they can.
Some women turn bad when they get drunk
they won’t remember but you’ll never forget.
Some women dread the moment
anyone sees them with no clothes on.
Some women are like morphine.
Some women will watch you crawl away and laugh
the sound smacking your eardrum again and again.
Some women will treat you like their next cigarette.
Some women will offer you their Vimto hearts
beg you to keep them beating.
Written: August 2015.
Explanation: A poem written in my own time without a great deal of thought. Not to be taken seriously. Inspired by 'The Matter' by Kim Addonizio. 'Vimto' is a carbonated fruit-flavoured drink from England. All feedback welcome. Please see my home page on here for a link to my Facebook writing page.
NOTE: Many of my older poems will be removed from HP in the coming months.
Jedd Ong Nov 2014
has died

And tomorrow brings
Forth a helping
Of ham sandwiches
And chorizo rice,

And a cold glass of milk,
And vitamin pills,
And sleepy morning sunlight
Clinging to baby eyelids.

The world unraveling,
Yarn by yarn to reveal
A cracked expanse:

Dingy suburbs alternating
With shiny metal subways,
Flimsy straw huts,
And highways,

Schoolbooks once mandatory
Depicting every one of them.

The bell rings and
Suddenly footsteps seem
To linger if but for a second,
Encasing its victims
In a universe where time stops—
Stood—still

Still enough to wrinkle,
And feel the soft nudging

Of naked wrist against
Wrist-watched wrists,

Breakfast crumbs against
Crumpled lips,

Rotting umbrellas against
Sweating hips,

Oxen straining against
Grass-strewn rifts,

Coal dust against
Swollen lids—

So tolls the bell
And ends
mark john junor Apr 2014
i dreamt that this ocean of words
that need to be spoken
had me committing folly's
and had me believing that in this all futures lay
like a simple song would suffice

a thousand years it seems
iv walked this road
to stand here looking down on this rain puddle
to look down and see the wheels that each raindrop spins
a thousands years since i drank a sip of its cool waters
since i took your hand looked into the deep waters of your heart
and knew your loves

we lay up in an old schoolhouse
while the summer storm passed
the broken benches and cracked glass
like the lessons taught there
flawed by the reality they had been learned with
so before night could strand us there
we walked on in the rain
lest like thouse old schoolbooks we could be
closed by flawed versions of our history's

by midnight we had reached fiveashes bridge
and you asked if we could stop to dance while the old man
spun us a tune on his old guitar
so i lead you in a waltz by starlight
like a raindrop i created a wheel for us to turn
and for a memory's moment we spun there
on the worlds edge
like lovers should
like two rain drops dancing on a summer puddle

all these words
like worlds that i could explore
but i tell you simple and true
that i would give them all up to have you here
have your hand in mine
so we could dance to that simple song
once more
like two raindrops in a puddle
seeking to be one
under a summer sun
calm Mar 2018
I see her walking by
Amongst the crowd she walks
Clutching her schoolbooks in her arms
The whole world glistens in her eyes

No one sees her in the bustling halls
No one notices her , no one at all
Every day , no one at all
Except me

Head down, I pass life by
A dark stranger in a world of light
Schoolbooks kept close to my chest
Shielding my mind from the loud universe

I'm just another blank canvas,
In this town of Van Goghs.
Take no heed of where my footsteps follow
I can't trust my own **** self

I'm about to pass her
My heart thumps
My blood pumps
I wish this would last forever

But yet it hurts
Because I can never have her
From the inside the feeling burns
But I still love her

Sinking further into this dark hole
Like the life's draining out of me
Whispers of screams circle my brain
I wish this was just a dream

It aches, oh how it kills me
I can never live a normal joyful life
The familiar emptiness within me whistles a frozen tune
Unloved. Unwanted.
Miss Honey Aug 2013
All of the lines started to blur together
Summer, complicated passed without guidance
one twinge of a special river rushed inside,
breaking bones,
tearing up any sense of self I once knew packed in wood stoves and bird walks
There is no discovery in purpose.
Progress is made by going without knowing why
You are not found in schoolbooks
Your muscles were not built upon hopeful, “one day”
You build your own self in hazards and nimble choice
You’ll find a way to heal broken skin
And your terrified eyes will only build more muscles for smiling
(20 minute poetry)

Past the barges easing along the canal, over the aqueduct,
******* the morning into my lungs,
flinging my satchel of schoolbooks because tomorrow never comes,

and then off to the islands for a pirate's day out,

tickling trout (the rainbow kind) lunch well deserved for the deserving mind.

I loved the river
the smell and the feel
the eels
the gulls
the turn of the tide

I took pride in it
knew every nook
every brook that loaned a little more strength to the length of it.

And then they altered it
sunk all my islands
dammed all the brooks

for ***** sake
can't they leave well enough alone?

The rivers not a home to be,
but it was a home for me
a long time ago.
Jude kyrie Jan 2016
Prisoner of my upbringing

I remember so long ago now
Being a baby girl and learning.
Every day learning new things.
Life was like a big notebook
ready to filled in like a journal.

At age six
my older  sister
was in front of the bathroom mirror
She pinched her tummy and scowled.
We skipped breakfast
and went to school hungry.

At  age 9
I was on the school bus
Boys were laughing at a nerdy girl
with thick glasses reading schoolbooks.
When I got home I hid all my books.

At Age 13
I went into the girl’s washroom
The mirrors were all taken
by girls in my class putting on makeup.
And talking how boys only liked girls
who looked older and ****.
The next day I unfastened my braids
put on dark red lipstick
and black eye shadow.
Wearing short shorts and a low tank top.

At age 15
I saw my father drunk and angry
He hit my mother, mom wept and said he
didn’t mean it.
he was under a lot of  pressure at work.
The next year I said my boyfriend
didn’t mean it either.
when he hit me.

At Age 20
I looked into the full length mirror
My gaunt starved body looked back at me.
The dead looking lanky blonde hair
and translucent skin looked death like.
The black eye shadow on my eyes
looked like a corpse
The dark red lips seemed out of character.
I shrugged my bony shoulders
And said
Well at least I am normal.
Does this seem familiar in today's consumer society.
Suffer the little Children.
Jude
Travis Green Oct 2018
Before the days I learned how to
appreciate the word nerd, how it
rolled inside my tongue in cool
crisp diction, I was the young boy
who walked down the crowded
hallways decked in casual collar
shirts and denim blue jeans with
a bookbag behind my back,
my hands holding a stack
of schoolbooks close to my chest,
the silent air surrounding me a
squared wave dragging in suspended
shadows.  I could hear the echoing
consonants sifting in broken space
towards uncharted worlds, murmuring
and dissolving in distant lakes, wide
and insane escapes dazed, scarlet
scraped, shifting behind vile and
vanishing outlines.  I was falling.
I could feel the snatching and
cracking inside my veins, the
looming liquid rises confining
in chamber circles, handcuffed,
shackled, crackled, half an inner
reality poisoned and pounding
in a thin wall of clogged chains.
I was drifting.  I couldn’t begin
to disentangle the words, how
its loud ringing beginning had
no ending, how its rhythm
in slow motion muted
my existence, the name
I was called on various occasions,
wondering if it would
ever end.  Now
as the days fade into each
other, the constant walks
across the cityscape that seeps
into late night gazes at the moon,
I have come to appreciate the sweet
blossoming beauty that defines
my captivating canvas.
Brian Rihlmann Sep 2018
"Wipe that smirk
off your face!"
You will hear this often,
though you are not
aware of smirking.
"Lose the attitude!"
Though you do not speak.

In your face
and body language,
they read their own
not quite swallowed lies,
their self betrayal
in the service of a futile
and shallow existence.

Their own misgivings reflected
in your rebellious twinkle
and shuffle,
must be erased.

Their hands reach
from schoolbooks,
from newspapers,
from billboards and screens,
with gleaming spoonfuls
of stinking horseshit,
their lips humming airplane sounds,
"Mmmmm-mmm."

Keep your lips pinched
in disgust, boys and girls,
and seek out
your own brand of futility.
Ava Weiland Dec 2019
in our room
she watches beauty videos
sponsored by beauty sellers
there is so much you can put on your skin
while I hide you in the pages
of my schoolbooks
eat ahead
(chocolates behind paper doors)
and ponder
the back and forth motion of the life
the sea, the sun, the ***, the wind
the back and forth that has no end
and you are back
and my whole life is back
I wait for it all to come forward again
Graff1980 Jul 2019
The green light lit
a pool of dog ****,
as I barely missed
stepping in it,
but managed to hit
a puddle of human ****.

Still, this is better then
the messes I’ve been
stepping in
my entire life;

Belt, boot, broom handle,
righteous salvation
in the distorted visage
of a vicious parent.

Locker collisions
as schoolbooks were driven
from hands to the floor,
cruelty that dulls with
time and distance.

Packaged pill urges,
dull knife intentions,
barefoot winter behavior,
death, the hopeful savoir
who never flew in
to save me.

Teeth grating
I have been hating
everything I ever was
because,

because,

because…

I can’t tell you why
cause now
I don’t feel like
the bad guy
who deserves to die.
S Aug 2020
schoolbooks always thrown on the floor while i explore another world for a few hours

— The End —