There's something unsettling
about this feeling of loving hopelessly.

My toes
are constantly ready to push off and
dive into a pool that's empty.
It holds no water or promise,
but I get up and jump
again and again.
This is what  reparable souls are made of
Magic, drunken thoughts, and bravery all wrapped in delicate skin.

My mother has warned me
of this feeling before.
and how it ends in tissues and stitches.
But I call her and urge her indiscretion
to my father and her emotions.

I crave the feeling of feeling stuck in your gut,
where your body aches but it’s
wrapped in silk sheets.
Feelings
that consume my mind wholly, constantly, agonizing and yet
I stand on the diving board
ready to crash again.

When Death comes by
Do you really see a man, a mere human?
Is it possible that an entity as ancient could be so?
It’s been there longer than any of us
Seen more than we could imagine
It would make the bravest demigods
Children again, crying for their mothers
It's an entity as old as Change and Time
- Something not many can claim
It's seen Change and stagnation
Seen triumph, as well as the bitter tears
Of one who has lost everything,
Including their own identity,
After having known ‘everything’.

I am Fire and I am Ice.
Get too close to me and you will be,
Changed, for better or worse.
You will be changed. Anything that
Comes near me does. I am inescapable.

Even galaxies explode, even stars fall
I am inescapable. I am indestructible
Come to me and you'll lose yourself
Look me in the eye and you shall see
A reflection. You will be changed.
The worst scars I give, remain unseen
You've looked me in the Eye, and now,
You pay the price, with nothing less
Than Mind, Heart and Soul. Bodies are
Now reparable. Scars can be hidden
The soul and your heart... That is where
Your true weakness lies and I leave the
Marks of my possession there. I am neither
Moral nor immoral. I am and I remain.
Some might romanticise my presence, but
I am neither good, nor bad. I simply Am.
I might bring pain or I may bring salvation
I am as I have been and as I shall remain
Humanity will come and go, the Milky Way
Will be extinguished. I will remain.
After all, I Am.

and love of winter,
found absent though
i do not lament it –
i lament the loss of my ****.
lament as the sun rises.
and acts of valor,
acts of ******* or –suasion,
trail’d off as words
spew forth in riptide.
forth to recreate, to wipe clean.
and censured nods exchange,
we met not eyes, you were
only in my vision’s drift. in my
field of autonomous response.
and in repose at end of day,
all my colors in restful
form. harmonious form.
substantiated form.
and discernable of madness,
reparable non-sense to draw
some drifting vision.
to draw upon jaded gaze
cloak’d defensive.
and i wander the thoughts,
i wander the right
emptiness in your eyes.
and i wander on.