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Robby Cale Feb 2010
Look, I just want to move you.
Woo you.
Shake you loose but never lose you.
I want to
Savor the glazed reverent silence
Of your gasping, ungrasped breath.
Sip it down till there's nothing left
Yet still explain all the rest.
See, it's time I unearth some gold.
Nothing here sold.
Just given freely to slurp up,
served up cold.
But I dare not go it alone.
Not when there's so many heplping hands
Beyond my own.
So I first court Eloquence.
She's an easy mark to find,
volubly masticating volumes
while leisurely lathering her tanned,
Leather skin.
Dolloping her monocle-bodied features
In librarian sin.
She says...
"My dear boy.
Berate them NOT
with your false start,
lethargic oddities.
Your penchant,
Melancholic falsities.
You must but grunt through the trudgery
Of your muddy misgivings,
And birth only accessible
Pertinent notions.
Neither precarious nor
Incongruous to the truth!
Robby.
You must simply relinquish your
Intrepid, frenzied paucities!
So I dismiss the diss.
Since
her big scary words are kinda lost to me.
Evidently, though,
I must need a Joe Blow.
An Everyman.
A Streetcorner Clairvoyant.
I turn to
(drum roll)
Raunchiness.
His beer belly **** and **** jokes
And dollar store aftershave suggest
A pleasing 'pull-my-finger' charm
that just might turn the trick.
He licks his lips,
And chides through a buck-tooth,
Spit shine smile.
Sheeeooot, boy,
That there one's easy.
All you gotsta do is
Go down deep
And speak from your gut.
Tell em how you feel..
How you REALLY feel.
Tell em..
shoot, tell em they rub you just right,
You might well feel as ***** as
Your gas gauge after a good pump.
As ***** as a McD's wrapper
Corner-pinch-discarded like
A used diaper hammock.
Yeah! You tell em your as ******
As a receptacle
For used diaper hammocks!
Hells yeah.
Girls will eat that **** up!
And say you're as gay as rainbow gold
As straight as an arrow-head.
As misled as finding your folks are still *** fiends
or as contradictory as ***** like me!
Boy, you are as con-fused as the
Lumpy, stumpy, pimply dimpled teen who finds out
Santa Claus IS real!
And he's hanging out loose
In every single Hustler Magazine!
Now hear me boy.
If they still don't care,
Or they see that you're scared,
Just say you feel as guilty as midnight dials
From parents of Girls-Gone-Wild,
sneering,
"Well shoot, sugar plum.
You sure ain't been feeling
Real secure in awhile."
And as he loosely labels me
As awkward as **** thermometers,
As misunderstood as **** plugs,
I give Raunchiness a dismissive shrug,
And return to the mystery
Of what I've missed from me,
Whatever still may be
My own poetic style.
I'm sorry for when I called
you an *******.
Even though it was my fault
and I was having a 'bad day'.                                        

I'm sorry I never responded to                                    5
that text.
When you said I was a
good kisser, but I think you too.

I'm sorry I'm short
because of hereditary.                                                 10
Because it means you have
to stoop, I to lean, for us to kiss.

I'm sorry I'm not taller to see
your green-hazel eyes.
The eyes are the window to                                         15
the soul, but I don't have one.

I'm sorry for playing guitar
so badly.
But no one has ever told me to
stop, so I never did.                                                     20

I'm sorry for not keeping tally
on the McD vs. KFC fight.
For the amounts of hits and
misses, each response had back.

I'm sorry for never saying upfront;                          25
I love you.
But you don't love me, because
Who could? Not an angel like you.

I'm sorry for not liking punk music
all that much.                                                            30
I want to understand, but 'Sixteen
Candles' doesn't appeal.

I'm sorry for not crying
at TFIOS.
Augustus was beautiful, Hazel too,                        35
But cancer doesn't scare me.

I'm sorry for not talking about
your personal crisis.
When all I feel I do is
Talk about 'The Other' with you.                            40

I'm sorry for being a
narcissist.
For being me. ME. ME! All the time,
When you are so much more interesting.

I'm sorry for being a                                                 45
*****.
For what I didn't mean to say,
That might have made you cry.

I'm sorry for being a
misogynist.                                                                50
And for hating men too. And
for all I've ever said against the human race.

I'm sorry for sighing
so much.
It's just I'm tired of                                                    55
Everything I do. I'm done.

I'm sorry for talking to you when you wanted
to talk to friends.
But being the gentleman you are,
Didn't tell me to go away.                                        60

I'm sorry for wasting your
time.
When you could have being speaking,
playing, dreaming, sleeping, living.

I'm sorry for you knowing                                      65
me.
And talking to me at all. Because I'm a spider,
Slowly ******* the life out of you.

I'm sorry for existing
here.                                                                         70
Or just existing at
all.

I'm sorry for being
sorry.
Because I know you hate it when I                       75
apologize for the things I say.

I'm sorry for living
at all.
Because all I do is drain your optimism,
And replace it with cynical thoughts.                  80

I'm sorry for breathing.
I'm sorry for writing this poem.
I'm sorry that you know me.
I'm sorry for it all.
L 31-32: I'm fifteen now. So sixteen candles, while the shortened title of a fall out boy song, is also about how I don't want to get to my sixteenth birthday.
L 34: The fault in our stars.
L 40: The sobriquet I have for my depression.
f Jan 2019
my,
it’s saturday, my 24th birthday is in exactly one week. that’s so  crazy. today i sang “somewhere over the rainbow” at a family funeral. it was one of the most peaceful funerals i’ve been to. i’m getting over a sickness right now and i’m starting to not feel as ****** even though it’s so weird.. my hearing is as if i have my ears plugged with my fingers and i’m talking aloud. all i can hear clearly is my voice, everything else is muffled. just a lot of sinus pressure, but i’m def over the worst of this particular virus. it was nice seeing and sitting next to my twin today. i took him home on my way home and saw where he’s living so that was also good. my favorite band weezer released a new teal album that’s composed of covers of many different classic, very recognizable, tracks. i love it of course. work is all right, but i can feel myself getting bored. perhaps it’s myself getting through this winter. this winter has been a little too long for my liking. even though the spring brings allergies, it brings SUN. and while i would prefer to be cold than hot... the sun brightens my heart and soul. and while i love all of earth’s creatures... i stand by 100% death to all mosquitoes. but who doesn’t love some allergy pills, h2o, and a lil mosquito repellant. oh! and chapstick. i’ll be house sitting in sugarhouse before my birthday, then finishing house sitting on my b day. then flying to ohio with mcd for his older brother’s wedding. then coming home on the 11th to chill before returning to work on tuesday. i think so, yeah...
my three beautiful kits are perfect as usual. tonight it’ll be a fun night with the bf and our friends playing vid games and sipping wine. before yet another work week. i still talk to my mom and dad every day, usually on my way to or from work. anyway. nap time.
1 - 26 - 19
Z Feb 2019
28
Reverie remember me
Dreams like penitentiary
And they just won’t let me go
It’s my ego, it’s montego bay
It’s hard to say like “anemone”
Another day another Hennessy
and i’m drowning away
Craving useless euphemisms, i’m still lost at sea
Haunted by consumerism, the ghost of Ronnie McD,
Mr. Clown meet mr. Clownfish
Mr. Marty lost his son
So i ain’t the only one actively and theatrically
looking for “no one”
-Nemo is Latin for nobody
-Montego Bay is a song by my favorite rapper, Noname
Low-Key Jan 2016
To every Sunday
To every birthday
To all the sleepovers
To the future hangovers
To every movie
To every game of ******
To every birthday shopping
To every cake mm the yummy topping
To every cake you bake
To every holiday break
To every game of dark room
To your future groom
To every selfie
To our song break free
To every late night get togethers
No matter what the weather
To every pet name
To every journey on the train
To every phone call
To every trip to the mall
To every coffee
To every Mcd softie
I raise this toast
To you, who I love the most.
For a lovely sister
Lynda Kerby Sep 2017
I want colton back...
and
if i were to wake up from this nightmare
and
find that life is back to that day of sept 26, 2008
i would get out of bed
and
insist that colton take the day off from school
and
if i had been given another chance i would do it all so differently.

and
when he wanted me to buy him a grocery cart for $5
but i didn't want it parked in the front yard
making the house look all ghetto,
"oh what would the neighbors think??!"

i'd have let him bought it,
i'd have cared more about making my little big teenager boy happy cuz i dont care what the neighbors think,
the ones that want to judge, that is
....i am saying life is special cuz u only get 1 shot at it
and
you dont know when it will be over
so do the right thing right now
instead of wishing for a complete re do
on raising colton
...except the part where i bought him 40 big macs from McD's
and
hid then in the deep freezer
for him to find on christmas eve,
i was an A+ Mom on that day
and
that moment i'd keep as a part of his
life...
wordvango Feb 2017
a special dispensation a secret trust
funded by a fairy crack mother
on her last bust she netted a whole
family of worthy *******
down on their luck for me to say hello to
aide as I could,
I get a rush
like today
I saw a guy had been hanging out downtown,
with a military duffle bag
for two days , looked bad off, same clothes,
so I got hungry
headed off to Mcd's and thought of him there
on that corner,
I bought four egg mcmuffins and two hot coffees
came back and he was gone,
no telling where he went, I felt bad my
special dispensation had gone for naught.
My cats and dog sure liked  
the extras given them.
wordvango Jan 2017
in the imaginations of people
I was there
the extraordinaire
the sitting sipping coffee shop watching
the young lovers outside try to separate
so hard in the dusky neon lights
the washateria lonely
an old woman folding laundry at 11 pm
as I sat outside rolling butts into smokable for a minute
fireflys
cleaning the ashtray out
the stalls of the convenience store
not even sitting down
so ***** even I the hobo would not
checking the Mcd's bag for fries
I found walking home at 2 am
the favorite of my memory
is seeing
on my journey
a guy at the grocery store
help an old couple load their groceries up
he didn't see me admire his charity.
Lefa Mzondi Jul 2022
Not sure what it is
I'm not sure when or how it happened
But I know I can't get you of my mind
Is it the first time I saw those eyes, with those gorgeous thick eyebrows
Or the first time I saw that beautiful smile
Heard that beautiful laugh
Or it how I got intimidated by you and your beauty, that I started babbling just to hide it

Is it how you laughed at my stupid "I'm loving it" McD joke, lol
Or how you carried the conversion so well it felt like we knew each other all our lives
Maybe it's how you shared your taste of music with me, or your favorite book
Or it's how you let a stranger you just met, watch your peacefully sleep on the couch
Ncooh, you were so cute

Or is it how you told me your life story of how you almost died in a car crash, and how glad I was you didn't
Or how attentively you listened to mine and how scared you were when I told you about my near death experience

Probably was the way you were so appreciative of my little gifts, like that cute pillow, or your favorite lily's
Felt like sending you everyday just to get that reaction
Haven't forgotten the promise to send you flowers at least once or twice a year, or tell you how beautiful you're every so often, even though I didn't keep it
You even probably forgot about it

Or is it how you admired my little spare time lockdown paintings,
How you constantly reminded me how good I am, even though I didn't feel the same
Or is it how it made me feel when I saw it hanging on your mom's wall
It meant everything

Maybe it is those random long calls at all hours of the day
Those giving me advice type of calls
By the way, thanks for helping with my little sister's self esteem, it meant the world to me, hope to repay it some day.

Or maybe it was those late night video calls
Those "watching you fall asleep" video calls
I definitely think it was those times you prayed with me
Never felt like that with anyone else before
Not sure what it is, but one thing I know for sure,

Either way, I think I fell in love with you
And I'm not loving It

— The End —