The obsession you have with the size of your hips.
They should be smaller,
Don't you think?
Oh, and be sure to do whatever it takes to have that thigh gap.
It's so worth it.
That thigh gap.
The more space the better.
The emptiness of your body.
The jutting collar bones.
Feeling dizzy.
Feeling depressed.
Worth every inch lost off your waist.
It is worth your once full and lushious hair now falling out like dead leaves.
Because you're dying.
You are killing yourself.
But it's all fine.
You're obsessed with telling yourself that it's all under control.
Isn't it?
Theres no sleep at night.
Not when your anxiety is this intense.
Not when your up planning how to skip the rest of the weeks meals.
Use that time to be productive.
Like right now.
Lying awake... obsessing.
Obsessing.
Obsessing.
But it's s all fine, right?
Because that thigh gap.
And bony fingers.
You're deliriously falling over every **** time you stand, and you think it's all still fine now?
You think it's still worth it?
Isn't it?

Admirable, Blissful, Bewildered, Curious, Capable, Compassionate, Determined, Daring, Delighted, Dazzling, Eagar, Edgy, Enlightening Enthusiastic, Elegant, Fabulous, Fantastic, Forgiving, Fictitious, Fancy, Feminist, Glamourous, Gorgeous, Glowing, Guarded, Greatful, Generous, Gloomy, Happy, Honest, Hopeful, Humourous, Humble, Humane, Heartiest, Heavenly, Imaginative, Interesting, Inspiring, Intellegent, Incredible, Impressive, Important, Indecisive, Invisible, Jinxed, Joyous, Judicious, Justified, Jobless, Jiggish, Jimp, Jittery, Jazzy, Jaunty, Kindhearted, Keen, Knowledgable, Kiddish, Knavish, Knockout, Kempt, Kween, Kin, Kittens, Kinder, Lazy, Luxurious, Lively, Loyal, Limit, Laminated, Lawless, Lightning, Lushious, Luminous, Lovesick, Logical, Modest, Marvelous, Motivated, Music, Momentous, Mindful, Magical, Memories, Merciful, Mellow, Mesmerizing, Malicious, Mannered, Noble, Nervous, Night, Naive, Noted, Natural, Nifty, Nurturing, Never-ending, Noteworthy, Neglected, Narnia, Native, Number 1, ***, Openhearted, O Canada, Obviously, Obidient, Obsessions, Open-minded, Oriented, O.K., Observing, OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD, Omnicient, Outshining, Obliged, Obsticles, Passionate, Personally, Poetry, Picture-Perfect, Positivity, Pulse, Painful, Physic, Power, Protagnist, People-Person, Pros, and Cons, Purity, Purpose, Pleasant, Pieces, Quiet, Quality, Quick, Quoted, Queen, Quirky, Quintessentially, Quest, Quick-Minded, Questionable, Quarter, Quiver, Quiddity, Quiescent, Qui vive, Quip, Quantity, Ravishing, Rapport, Reliving, Reassuring, Rebal, Rainbows, Reckless, Relaxing, Respect, Remedy, Regrets, Right, Relatable, Reliable, Rad, Ready, Responsible, Rainy days, Sagacious, Salutary, Sassy, Secure, Self-assured, Self-reliant, Self-confident, Self-disciplined, Selfless, Sensational, Sensitive, Stars, Shawn Mendes, Sénorita, Sentimental, Set, Serene, Seamless, Significant, Sightly, Trustworthy, Talented, Tender-hearted, Thriving, Thankful, Titanic, Touché, Touchy, Transparent, True, True-blue, Traveller, Transpicuous, Titillating, Timeless,Tidy, Teasing, Tender, Terrific, Thorough, Thrilling, Unarguable, Ultimate, Undefining, Under-the-weather, Unalloyed, Unassuming, Uncommon, Understandable, Undivided, Unique, Unlimited, Unstoppable, Uplifting, Upbeat, Uber, Unconvensional, Uhuh, Unbelieveable, Under control, Unquestionable, Utter amazment, Valiant, Valuable, Valid, Veridical, Valiant, Vibrant, Vigorous, Vigilant, Victorious, Visions, Vivid, Voluptuous, Vulnerary, Vulnerable, Venust, Veracious, Vestal, Violen, Vroom Vroom, Victory, Vows, Wake me up, Wise, Welsome, Well-behaved, Welcoming, Well-grounded, Woke, Whimsical, Whistler, Wholesome, Wired, Witty, Wondrous, Whilst, Winter, Wonderful, Wide-Awake, Walk it like I take it, ****-bang, Wishful, Wellness, Worth it, World-Class, Xo, Yolo, Zero

....your fined-tuned beauty
As if a goddess has been reincarnated
to an embodiment as yours
The way your lushious hair is displaced by the wind
And aligned in a perfect mess after settling down
The eyes of yours, as if they were two ponds
under a full lunar beam
reflecting mysteries into my heart
Your eyelashes are like the grass
surrounding the fathomless pond
covered with glimmering droplets of dew
to complement the eyes of yours
Your face, a mark of true beauty
which signifies your pure heart
And a smile of yours
from your mesmerising lips
can make any mens' day
Your laugh
gigling in shyness
was a habit for you
but it was and will always wil be
beautiful
The humility of yours
was too much
It was just, so wrong to see such a humbled woman
Your humility defeated me

When you are drowning with sadness,
I will be there to rescue you from the horrendous flood
When you are eaten by depression
I will be the one to pull you back up
from the belly of the beast.
When you are cold, alone and lost
I will the Sun to provide you warmth
I will the lustering light to guide you
I will be the one to be by your side

(Insert name here), you truly are the one that I want to look after.

In love the feeling I get in the depth of my heart when I see you,
Your smile send chills in every direction,
I can't seem to get you off my mind,
Your dimples make my heart swell with happiness.
I have a tendency now to bring you to Dreamland,
All I've been dreaming of is you and I,
Us with our fingers entwined and sweet and lushious kisses,
I scold myself for this feeling that's gorwing deep inside of me,
Could this be what I most fear?
Could love once again be growing in me?
I try to stop looking your way,
I try to stop smiling when I see you,
But it makes my heart ache and now I have to face the facts.


I'm crazy for you but I don't want to be because our feelings are not mutual,
I try to let go but my heart still holds on and when someone says your name my heart jumps a little,
I don't know what to do because no matter how hard I've tried your still stuck on my mind.

A hawk is hatched

in the harlequin hush

inside the walls of library books

in their incendiary shelves

incline

invitingly

in carnal stories

in words that leave us billowing smoke

in scenes of innuendo...



A bird of prey in flight

even in a stationary perch,

he is a glorious sight

eyes full of limpid thoughts, & search,

levitating litany

like taboo

thrown across the room

questions and detours

from his gaze

uphoric pheremonal *****...



My ***** is

in a penury of vigor,

my skin / proving red-rushed

weaknesses

for just his adonis sight

for just one fantasy night...



The humid walls,

with their olden and unbiased

silences

attend my quickened qualms

attend my entirety of suddenly

needing

to be caught in his talons' violences

craving

to be the meal ~ in a hawk's sight,

flesh ripped in lushious strips

to be inside his mouth,

to feel

my digestion...



We match growling stares,

feel the quicksilver pulse,

hesitation and realization

the super nova flares

heating my middle,

hardening my fiddle

creating new sensations

and worlds of wicked inflections

a warm nest

to rest, after the S

                         E

                         X...



A nervous breath,

as he stands

abducting his hardbound knowledge

odyssies in exquisite arms

a twinkle in his *******-brown eyes

a pause, for crumbs to be sprinkled

on the path to reprise,

a piece of paper with a numeric surpise;

a name:

"ANGEL" flashing collegiate goods,

an endangered understanding

a naughty smile--a young mouth,

and i am a V-formation

heading for warmer south...



A hawk is hatched

from the harlequin hush

of the Flamingo Library,

i am ready

to fly beyond loneliness and February,

catch urgency's godspeed to Angel

in the tradewinds of our testosterone

his invitation scribbled on a corner piece of notes

i am guessing / i'm in control

i am the words unspoken

in these pages, in dusty scrolls

in the volumes on the walls

our endangered understanding


If he is there and nothing's there...

still must follow my volcanic hopes meandering

so to speak that entangling

his and mine / tongue...


how like a hawk in Spring

i am sprung...


(and understanding
how endangered I become)

I closed my eyes and drifted back
into the frosted grass and colored leaves
of my childhood memories
crows carrying an obscene melody
as the wind whispers tales of winter
the trees bare the flowers withered
rodents and birds can sense the shiver
busily preparing for the everlasting division
death falls over the land like a plague
and I walk with a smile as the colors rain
respectfully silent as the lushious greens
reduce to compost below my feet
the bountiful summer once again has met its match
as the sun fades off into the distance

In the lowalnds in the humid heat
Lushious green landscape strikes me
And the Amazon greets

Upon its' murky water I float
Whilst a bright butterfly furiously flutters
Like to keep up with our boat

Looking into the jungle upon the shore
Hunting birds are circling above
A hint that there lives more

And sprinkles of colour season the trees
A sample of the inner variety
In front me is countless species

Check out the ink,
authentic as a groupie giving it up
each memorable stain
Taints / scars
"see this one, that was the time...
on the road, the streets of concrete and black"

waking up with something missing
another concert and back
stage passing out
green rooms become lucky charms
                                      "magically delicious"
when molly and 'cid drown out
the loud self hatred howl
the piercing sounds like snow on a telly
made of wood / in the hollow
of the skull
screaming fans
get giving head
(another Grateful Dead
teddy tats
le mort - with top-hats)

Check out the ink on them cats
'cuz its cool to hit it
And just like that,
they're just like bruises
Rorschach birth mark
Skin art muses
like permanent stickers
Yang and yin
punch bug & liquor
Business inc.

quarter machine
bouncy ***** and shiny things--
Smiley face!            
Have a nice day!
Happy colors cover up
To hide the deeper pain that dont hurt
but slowly softly kills
somewhere inside
where somethings
gone missing...
(now they swallow pills)

...

Like plumes of flamboyant flocks
Birds of dying paradise
and schools of shimmering fish,
Anima and abyss
Inside this living planet, all
makes for interesting documentary
nature shows
            since nuture blows
Goes to show
Some guardians using
back of the hand
belt / buckle / switch

Yo peeps pay close attention...
Check out the ink
swats and ****
                   wears wife beaters
and his chick in the summers
wears faux
furs of mink...
***** on roller skates without a rink
expert skill sets for Sonic
always runaways
drive by drive-thru,
So cool I'll call 'em Culo...
Wouldn't you?


*(In their natural habitats, the group and packs
and ****** of crows, find one another
Lushious... candy color coded hides...
like the wilde-beast their multitudes progress
run migratory trails anywhere from the law
or their own **** making a mess...
Welcome
Mutual Of Omaha's Wild kingdom
in permanent ink ... stains...
memorable times...               wasted)

We've gone mad
Going to madnesses
Carry on surviving
These new asphalt forests
With glass trees, mean streets
The birdsongs gone
Passed on to Extinction
Replaced by man's Machina
Armies' replicas

Inviting aliens with solid gold
The lushious abundant sounds
Pre-recorded,
"Hello what ever is out there, we are here! We welcome you to planet Earth."
HUNGRY?

We've lost our minds
Having lost our soul
We carry the madness
Like gongs from the Bell tower.
Carrying on surviving
Half alive
We're facsimiles of ourselves
In fat fake forests with
Coal-black rivers
Sand as the concrete sidewalks
Hard as war's urban jungle
Amidst viruses, flooding, wildfires.

We go to imaginings
The weight of bones
Of human quivers,
We go on to dream...
  I made not Had, upon
  A river's bight
We go to hoping
When we at last stand still,
That I have loved ones who wait
Behind the hill, taking me home
Away from the madnesses
those Gone surviving. Hope you are not alone.
Alas that is what madness exactly was,
Tomorrow, who knows?
Take a bridge of light precisely at the time
The clock of stones at sunrise,
No madness in the eye
It's at the foot of heaven where loved ones wait...

P.S. be careful not to lose it.
Your light inside is key. Yes way!