BALLEA PLAY

( for my fellow playmate of those days
my cousin Mary Francis Forde )

The cut corn
bound by twine or súgán.

into sheaves into stooks into stacks
stacks and stacks reeks and reeks of it

hay into haggard

and that was it
"cored" as they said.

And yes that was uncle's and dad's work
but a harvest indeed for us kids.

We took it from there
fodder yes but for us play.

Jumping from the far away top
falling through air

lots and lots of air
into more hay

hours and hours of horseplay
bungee jumping without the rope.

A mountain of hay to leap from
a mountain of hay to land in.

Shouting: "Stooks...shocks & ricks!"
New sounds we were only after learning.

Or places names that one could taste on the tongue:

"Killingly...Killingly...KILLINGLY!"

I still forever falling through the air
of that day....that free fall through the years

landing in today
the 30th day of my 60th year.

He grew up with me. My childhood crush but I never had him for myself. He moved then told me He liked me. I left killingly and went to qmc first thing I saw was him. He has that smile that just makes you feel better. His parents we're spilt and he had nothing.. He got caught up in bad things but go away from it all. His dads a druggie and his mom refuses to talk to him. My house gave him somewhere safe to be.. He loved it for so long. But I can't make him happy. Only Mary Jane. He wants to **** himself. I know what that's like. And he needs somebody.. But everything I do is wrong. I love him I have for a while. I want to be happy with him and I want him to be happy too. But I'm not sure what makes him happy anymore.

Preface:
Earlier today May 28th, 2021,
the 12-member jury unanimously
found Cristhian Bahena Rivera guilty
of first-degree ****** in brutal stabbing death
sentenced to life in prison
without the possibility of parole
of Mollie Tibbetts remembered as then friendly
20-year-old who was studying
to become a child psychologist.

IOWA CITY, Iowa
(killingly, jarringly inexplicable,
horribly, gruesomely, and forlornly),
the body found July 18, 2018,
an exhumed decayed corpse
belonging to young
vibrant coed twenty year old
college student Mollie Tibbetts.

Impossible mission to deduce
senseless killing of innocent babe
wild speculation perchance
spurned, snubbed,or scorned
love seriously gone wrong,
she who disappeared
from her small hometown
in central Iowa sad swan song
now plays, where every
last drop of sorrow rung,
now weeping family, friends,
relatives, et cetera subjected wrack
with lifelong emotional pain,
which searing inescapable
grief twill unrelentingly track
ferociously, fiercely, and figuratively,
doth disallow recourse
to duck away
from heart wrenching quack
king unbearably, terribly, and scathingly
will fully bill leave ably
beak homing a folly,
mockery, and travesty,
sans time heals
all wounds (truly "FAKE"),
nonetheless psyche riving tragic
(irrevocable loss) doth pack.

Grievous punch greater then any
all star olympic pugilist
straight to the ab
domain of opponent, where
rumor mongers mill and blab
how this, that, or
another potential suspect,...
whence tissues dab
corners of crying eyes,
an endless stream
of tears merge with gab
bullying utter disbelief.

Family/friends question
the supposed almighty
at devastating loss
to do nothing but bawl (at Baal)
into the fox sized rabbit hole
trying with futility
to block (even crawl
ling into every
rabbit hole) no bastion
against implacable
maddening crowded
house alive with murderous frenzy,
and a dialect (non
tickling) gentle Iowan drawl.

Third anniversary regarding
asper the impossibly steep toll
the purposelessness killing,
aforementioned deceased  
affected sodden wet soul
cannot process any (defying) logic,
a foregone lovely gal (same age
as my youngest daughter),
whose missed presence,
(albeit said slain lass
Mollie Tibbetts – permanent absence),
now created an expansive
infinite black sink hole.