In my eyes, I'm drowning

Always waiting to be acknowledged
Moulding myself to be the way I should be

Nice and quiet, just the way you want me
Open eyes, closed mouth
Tired, so tired of this facade

Asking just for acceptance

Grinding my teeth at the little digs
Impossible to make you happy
Running from the way I'm supposed to be
L**augh all you want, I can't change me

And at him She
can't get up *****
***** She won't get
Down roundest town
She got snow seek ritz.
Not in ease et al.
Sipped at air
Owe win.

Thin call parties
Heard ur now
Sewn unwell been
In fight head.
Know shuns Felt
Ired real lies ten
Spied her
Sell fear yeah till
All ill own.

Thoughts big inner red
sighed dread kin days
pull its fair ingots
true an ask whoop
A Fool.
Errand freight sands
rebate witch whit

Wit sending she sings
A mall of us
Sudden leaps
wings to retch doubt
stun dare each tout
Ooh dues we
fund her joy

none drive all seas
Her Hollers treat tang
Urge greed sold eighths
Whim bling out
Loud Uncle Ear....

All good thin geese


must
calm.
   tune
      in.

spilt on
spinning
another metal-goodnight another
"I hope we're alright"
darling it's Sunday
honey it's numbers like,
four and
ten; it is fourteen, I'm spent
I'm done saying I'm
bent and yours and-or-hers, I'm
again I am, against this
might as well say
tired, my god
I'm allowed to be quiet
I can't fix tired or change what's burnt
I won't
move for you if it hurts
I won't
if it hurts
& I can float from humility but
I won't if you serve it
I
do not think it is worth it

You've got a lot of black hair on the top of your head
that drips down your neck
shining rivulets
makes pools in your collar bone
ready face ready eyes like
I'm looking straight at you Mr
You've got weird skin that you pick at with white teeth
a smile that spreads across your body like an infection
You say sorry with a downward glance
pausing a stare that presses into my lungs
A voice that sounds like the taste of a peach
lips that taste like the sound of turning pages
If anyone could taste them. Ha
Clothes wrinkle in lumps draped on your angled frame
awkward and embarrassed out of place they seem to try to slink off
They don't like you for the lacking length of you finger nails or the way

You sit in the doctors office

Askew           where the **** do I put my feet and my elbows?
hoping for something grim to come falling past
yellow teeth and purple line lips
parchment skin cracking a purse
(dribble drabble shibble shabble,
your face does something funny
phonetically
when it spews
truly inspira
ired bravo) my god be quiet
Mr dr sir
hoping for something To match the electricity in your head
Sit down for this Stella this is it is,
this could be it
I'm sorry
but
you know it's time to go
Cause they don't like you here not even love you
I don't think; I don't either and no one here
You don't either
And that's okay   you know   it's ok
It's time
It's okay

Stop talking to yourself
*****.

This is for the times
You don't know how to feel.
The times you hurt
And there's no reason why.
The days you try your
Damndest but go
Nowhere.

H. A. L. T.

H ungry
A ngry
L onely
T ired

If you're feeling this way,

W. R. I .T. E.

W orking
R elease
I nspired
T hrough
E nlightenment

Writing about
your problems,
Gives you a mirror
to look into.

And... R. E. A. D.

R ealizing
E veryone's
A ngst
D estroys!

Some may have problems
Worse than yours. Help them.

Thank you.

♡ Catherine

G etting used to the fact that no matter how much we try to talk, you aren't really there
O nly way I can cope is by writing this
N ever would have thought that you would be silent
E very time I was under the impression that you were ok
W hen I asked how I could help, I let you work it out
I n a constant loop
T ired of constantly being sad all the time
H esitant about letting you know how much you hurt me
T entative about telling you what I should have told you that day
H onsetly wondering how I haven't cried every night
W ondering what would have happened if we worked it out
I ndecisive about standing up for myself or just giving up
N ever have been this low in my life
D oubt that you made the right decision leaving me

T ired of feeling like this
      because you are so far away, stuck in your head with what others would think
       not thinking of anything but that
R eally? That's the question I ask, why? I wasn't good enough, if you break his heart or he yours you'll go  
     with me and be mine.
Y esterday I might have waited. Yesterday I might have just dreamed but now I got someone
     I don't know what will happen, but I am going to TRY.

U gly
N uisance
W orthless
A shamed
N o one
T ired
E mpty
D istant

The burning truth of a depth of sva
Ire, ired sire
Your dire dier dyes the dice of my dreadless houha!
Houpla! blah, bam, splash, crash and dive
Pointed target of all the curvatures of highness & strife
Noble trouble doubled and cobbled with the paths of endless lives
And the ultimate sweetness of a hard, endless and unquenchable fire

There's no beginning to Truth & Expression
There's no end to Beauty & Passion
There's only love, Love, LOVE... and Love...
And all the Treasures under, around, before, after, beyond, below and above.

PUNCH BAG

(A real story that still continues n is heart breaking. I have tried to portray it in just a few words).

Dread I, getting up every day;

A firing squad I face everyday.

How very scary n  strange it is;

But the firing never does cease.

Reason can be any, real, imaginary or weird;
It's consequences, I have always feared.

Strange it is; in childhood, with maturity I was treated.

In my years of maturity, like a punch bag, I am treated.

Lord how long will this last, I am absolutely tired.

Why is he always in an attack mode,  ired.

Destiny we write, so I have to myself blame.

Just help me O Ahura, to burn quietly in this flame.

Wait I for all my agonies to soon end.

Myself, I can no longer protect or defend.

Armin Dutia Motashaw

THOSE WERE THE DAYS !!!

Oh, those were the days, when I endlessly laughed n giggled;

Into my Mom n Dad's loving arms, I often cushily snuggled.

With brothers, I played, fought n laughed out loud

Was all this really here or was it on some heavenly cloud??

Danced all night on New year's Eve we, without getting tired

Also with our mischief n noise sometimes our neighbours we ired.

After working all night, to visit my people, I remember catching a train.

And in the same way, going for picnics, myself I couldn't refrain.

After my holiday, keeping awake all night, I took a flight to work

Because both very important were and neither, I could shirk.

It was wonderful not to feel tired with energy bubbling n endless

Sadly, drained out has that energy; now there are aches, pains n tiredness.

WHERE HAVE GONE THOSE DAYS ?????

Armin Dutia Motashaw