muddy lungs
death flickered a coal light inside you
this morning as I separated from

the moon, my crater
my coffin

stars eat from the palm of my hand
festering caterpillars
from the stomach’s boiling acid

only the freshest babe
I selected from within an evening sky

will I *****
to not swallow, but choke on
and become as noxious as my lungs

African poesies will not awaken there
kneel, wilt, flowerlike.

Vengeful souls demand recognition
as the blood fills the cracks in our foundations
and our genetic code is the biggest cop out ever known
As the media sells out and buys into the latest solution
Predicament home grown
When the problems run deeper than the sewage
they run deeper than the refineries and plastic seas
Tho they all serve as an example of the lacking
The lack of a proficent economy
and if someone is capable of defaecating where they eat
Whose to say they care for whats on your plate?
More and more we see the collaspe socially in our race
So what I dont understand is the shock when a man
brings a pipe bomb with intent to displace
Everyone is afraid of the yellow flag of terrorism
yet neglect the true issues when it turns red
Neglecting the many motives of an internal suspicion
So next time you go to stomp your former man
To dehumanise and overwork him
Remember your local postal hand
and how even the sanest can be pushed over the edge

Dream after dream,
The nightmares no longer grace me with your face.
Loneliness calls to my heart,
As you slowly drift away.

The metal bars begin to collaspe,
Freedom beckons me forward.
When you appear before me,
Chains envelop my body in a hug.

Pain sinks into my heart,
The river of tears begin to flow.
As my name leaves your lips,
The desire for escape vanishes.

As if I were a bird in a cage,
I cannot escape the chains that bind me to you.
I am trapped in the image of you,
Where my love is nothing but an unspoken whisper.

It's the time of the year
To say goodbye
To give our parting hugs
To flash our last wavering smile.

It’s this time of the year
Where we determine how true
The essence of friendship is
How long would it last

And it is this time of the year
Where I discovered
None of the friendships made
Were made out of diamond: strong
Made out of rubber: flexible
Made out of pure truth

Lies upon lies
Built up on a weak foundation
Threatening it to topple
To collaspe and to fall

Its heartening to see
What true friendship can do
But yet disheartening to know
That true does not exist too.

An American soldier walks into a shelled ruin to find a young girl huddled in a darkened corner, her hands covering her face, she is shaking.

Soldier ~ How Amongst this war torn masonry,
             could Grow so fair a desert flower.
             That hides so soft her eyes from me,  
             but yet steals from me the very power. 
             To reason love amidst this scenery,
             as I ashamed now turn and cower.   

She looks up and on seeing his uncertainty and gentle face finds herself drawn to him.

Girl ~      By what star was this night born,
             that alights on so silent a step.
             Adorning this dark with love not scorn,
             and into my heart so softly crept.
             Doth now my soul such thoughts adorn,
             as through his eyes such sorrow wept.

They look at one another as the sound of automatic gunfire shatters the silence...

Soldier ~ If I could but steal one solitary hour,
             and thus pluck it out of time.
             Wouldst I not share it with this flower,
             that has so ataken this hard heart of mine.

Girl ~      If I could but steal one unashamed look, 
             and seal this chance meeting with a kiss.
             But for this war we are unstuck,
             and never may we share such bliss. 

Soldiers screaming orders and receiving commands.

Radio ~   Romeo Juliet 121 where are you,
             let fly the shells that rend this night.
             and burn surrounding building too,
             leave no cover from which for them to fight.

The soldier turns and runs out casting one final look over his shoulder towards her, she stands and walks to the doorway speaking.

Girl ~      May whatever God you pray to keep you,
             and May he safe your journey be.
             So when at last this madness through,
             he leads you back to be with me.

Soldier ~ May whatever God you pray to guard you,
             and keep you safe from hatreds eyes.
             That come a time when we're unbound,
             He let's us love without disguise.

The radio crackles into life orders are screamed and a shell whistles over the soldiers head, striking the second floor of her home causing the roof to collaspe.
He turns and screams running toward the smoke and dust billowing from the open doorway...

Soldier ~ What hell hath such disdain to break a heart,
             With mortar shell and racial hate.
             Imprisoning my soul now ripped apart,
             amidst the sands of this ****** state.

He falls to his knees, rifle **** driven into the ground..

Soldier ~ Then let me here atone this crime, 
             ending this ache within my beating chest.
             For without your love what use is time,
             when by your side I seek to rest.

 He pulls his trigger and falls over slowly hitting the ground as she appears through the smoke coughing, she sees him and runs to crouch down by his side stroking his bloodied face..

Girl ~      In suicide are we both ******,
             and hell will own here our mortal soul.
             But just to be once held soft within your hand,
             would I suffer all to be made whole.

 His knife in her hand she closes her eyes and thrusts deep into her Breast, falling limp across his body and in death knows his touch.

Sergent ~ Why when all men are brothers,
              do we scar both heart and earth.
              Feel humbled by the sight of lovers,
              who knew that war attains not worth,
              Killing the sons of faceless mothers,
              that mourn now the life that they gave birth.

He walks away head bowed, other grunts gather around the couple and stare uncertainly at what transpired as love conquered death and cast doubts amongst the living.

anguished, anemic, adolescents, arrayed, in a line.
apprehensively, observing the ambulance, take away
an afficiando, again, today.

bereft of energy and ability
to see......
that cutting,
while a momentary thrill.
is leaching their ability,
to be anything
but lethargic, listless and ill.

an addiction to, endorphines
angst and red blood spill.
becomes a viscous, viscious
cycle,
that daily, causes a spiral downward.

you cut, to feel,
release from pain,
blood flows,
draining you of
the nutrients and
sustenance you need,
to cope with living life,
you become,
less able to deal,
with the slights and arrows
and daily dross.
so you cut,
to deal with the loss
of the ability to cope,
you saw away,
at your skin like,
it is a mental rope.
all the whil
you lose blood the live giving force,
you lose the ability to hope
spiraling, until....
you collaspe in class... your secret revealed...

A is for  ANGER...
bright fiery red,
at the abtruse,
asininity of it all.

with every breath i breathe,
my lungs collaspe.
such a pain that i cannot bare,
is it supposed to hurt this bad?
my fear finally became a reality,
one that i did try to avoid.
to see her taking my place in your arms,
destroying the one place i called home.
save me, please, i am starting to beg,
save me please, instead.
whenever i fall asleep,
there you are in my dreams.
and i never want to wake up when i see you there.
our departure came quite soon,
and i was never done loving you.
why did you stop loving me?

every call went to voicemail,
every text was left on read,
and still, so many words left unsaid.

Deep wallowing sorrow shower upon me
It engulfs me with dejection as it slid from my body onto the ground
it listens while I scream my pain away.
I wonder if I will continue to live this way?
Walking through live aimlessly day by day.
Looking at life listlessly because I don't want to stay.
I gaze at the beauty of the gray sky
It comforts me with its beatific tears
As it falls within my eyes
And I cry ****** diamonds
Because I can no longer carry theses blocks of emotions that I incessantly stack.
Which is the reason why I often collaspe
And this heartack shatters my soul
As for picking up the piceces I've given up on that a long time ago.
I feel as if I'm wasting my time
Especially since my life isn't worth  a dime
So I past the time by sleeping my life away
I mean what's the point of being awake when your existence doesn't mean anything to anyone anyway.
So I'd rather sleep my life away
No one wants me here
And I don't want to stay.
I often wonder what it must feel like to get run over by a train
The way it moves so swiftly is sure to drown one in excruciating pain.
Each passing day I swear I grow more insane
Why do I carry such terrible thoughts?
They ring so loudly in my ears
That I'm afraid they might leak
And everyone shall hear.
I do not care to love anymore
I've tasted it before
And I shuddered at the bitter aftertaste of misery
How could anyone enjoy this 'love' when pessimism is its company?
I'd rather recline in this reticient chair
And pluck life away tiny hair by tiny hair
I would gaze at the twilight
And recite a song for those whom, like me are unfortunate.
As for 'love' I desire no more
A spoonful of this substance had left my tongue with a scar.
The dark clouds have rained its smiles upon me
They tried to soak me with euphoria
But I evaded them wuth my umbrella of rejection
I think I avoid the feeling of happiness because I abhor the feeling of being forsaken
Because nearly every loved one I've treasured as most important have been taken.
But its more like I've lost them.
Til' my final resting day
I think I shall continue walking down my road with a stronger heart
For if I don't I will continue to live an abysmal life.

the thoughts in my brain
talk so violently!
they naw and hiss and claw

my skinny knees
shake so violently!
until they collaspe from under me

two small hands
shudder so violently!
as the razor screams into my wrist

I couldn’t believe my eyes. As I was heading home I saw people gathered outside. I didn’t know what was going on. I heard sirens in the distance and started to sprint home. As I watch the fire rise, I begin to push my way through the crowd. People were screaming that someone was still in there. I reach the front of the house, and realize how bad it truely is. I begin to rush towards the inside breaking free from the grips of those holding me back. I open the front door and am immediatly blasted back from the flames. I hear people screaming as I weave my way through. I hear the cries coming from upstairs, and they’re lit in flames, but I go up them anyway. I reach my sister’s room, already burnt and can’t breathe. I break through the door and get thrown back again. I get back up. I rush into the room finding a bedsheet and carefully wrap my sister in it. I pick her up and she yells because the dog is still in there. I quickly wrap the dog as well and pick them both up. I run straight through the flames making my way through the hall. The steps are completely in flames, and my thinking was off and I decided to jump off the banister. I land the wrong way on my leg, and I hear it snap and cry out. I get back up, even in the pain, with my sister and dog and rush through the house. I arrive at the front door. I hurry through the flames and down off the porch. I rush through the yard and lay down my sister and dog and unwrap them. I walk a little away, and collaspe to the ground. The last thing I hear is people screaming and running toward me.

Throw me,
Throw me in, push me in
Not afraid to jump, water is a scary word.
I stand there, toes between rocks
Dread sweat feels the moss
Body shaking, not because it's freezing
The only light around, reflection of the moon, the stars faded tonight.
And there you stand, by my side
Crying aloud, you want me to stay
You grace my hair, mutilated skin
Hoping warmth of your touch, would defy my thoughts
I still stand up, fretting legs against the rocks
You hug me tight, pull me back.
And we collaspe to the floor, sit there
Skin on skin, as i tell you,
You should let me go
As i tell you, how i am unworthy of love
As i tell you, i cant exist
As i tell you, humans are demons and life isnt for everyone
You hug me tighter, watching the coldness spread through every inch of my veins
I hold your hands again for a last time
And say
"Dont pull me out, if i try hard for a gasp of air
Dont hold on to the tip of my long hair, as you see me cover in blue and more blue
And when you cannot see anymore whirls of black in the water
Thats me, gone
Gone for good"
And there, before i make that leap,
I feel a force on my back
A tender, warm force
The last human touch before i let,
The hands of the water devour my body. My pain.

It's like the days don't have names anymore. Friday sounds like a foreign word on the native tongue of routine. Exhausted, I leave the solace of my couch and wander towards my bedroom.The wooden floor screeches at me with each step I take. I turn on the light and find a messy bed cornered into the wall. Next to it is a crowded dresser – the home of two empty cups, a lamp collecting dust, a used candle, and a retro-finished coaster neighboring an unfinished book. I flash a weak smile as I light the candle scented almond macaroons that immediately permeates my room. To be honest I'm not a big fan of sweets, but how can you oppose the smell of a dozen macadamia nut cookies baking in your room? I flick on the lamp and collaspe in my bed like we haven't seen each other in weeks. Finally, I'm home.