"It's good to have a schedule, 'cause then you'll have at least pseudo-legitimate excuses not to do things you want to do even less than what's scheduled. It can also be nice to have a regular rhythm in Life other than your heartbeat and breathing, which, if you're like me, go overlooked enough as it is."
"If I need more rhythm in my life, I play drums."
"You fancy yourself a percussionist too, eh?
Well, for a fellow clock, you're pretty **** sharp!
What the hell you talkin' to me for? You got it already."
"Just finish tuning that guitar already. 'Open Z minor,' right?"
"It's 'drop go-****-yourself,' actually. Your mom's favorite."
"Funny, your mom loves it when I bang with my eyes closed."
"Alright, both of you: shut it before I leave both of your moms beggin' for more. After last time, they sure as **** know we bassists go deeper."
"As the frontman and vocalist, all I have to say is that worthy ladies appreciate the guys who are confident and good with their mouths, so y'alls gotta be sure to get in on those backup vocals! Also, before I forget: please ask your moms about my Funkadelic records. When things have gotten a little too freaky, I tend to be in a hurry. Whips, latex, chains, *******, ball-gags, belts, oils, sandpaper, rubbing alcohol, vinyl, blowtorches, candles, wine.. you know how it is: it can be hard to remember everything you leave in the locker at the end of a long day at the gym!"
"Hah, I'm sure. But, like I was saying.. we need to schedule more gigs."
"I already scheduled some more with your m-"
"I know. She told me."
Monks, Court Jesters, Fools, my imagination, what's the difference anymore?
In all seriousness, my drumfiend of a friend is hands-down my favorite clock ever.
16.3.15
