Poem 3
How to raise kids

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

I got into to teaching to make a difference,
To add some joy to a kids existence,
I knew, so well, the hurt and pain
That kids in secondary school sustain
The tears and the fears and the dread and the...
"Ahahahaha! Look at his Nicks!! He thinks he's got Nikes but he's wearing Nicks!"
And how it switches you off and makes you not care,
Because you just don't want to go back there.
So, you wander into town to HMV
Til your parents feel let down when you only got an E
Until you failed Art and Graphics and Literacy
But at least you got an A in history...
Because academic subjects are "more important"

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

So I left 6th form and I needed change
And wanted to go to somewhere strange
(And new)
Somewhere away from all the drama
At 19 I went by myself to Ghana
"God bless our homeland Ghana
And make our nation great and strong,
Vow to defend forever
The cause of Freedom and of Right"
And I taught
Maths and English
With no books
And no training
And no observing
And I was ******* at it... Really bad
But somehow, i felt the change
Just because I cared and they cared

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

A few years later I started teachin.
GTP, hands on, straight in.
My teaching mentor was called Mr Hickey,
He smoked a pipe and drank down whiskey
(In school)
My first proper job was Bradford inner city
It was a bit rough and the buildin was ******
There we had a guy who was a lazy old ****
And he had kids tracing instead of learning Art
When I first got there I was overwrought
These weren't like the training lessons that I taught
These kids had opinions. They needed to engage...
To be taught in a way that suited kids of their age
I nearly gave up, because I felt so scared
But at the end of the day, I knew that I still cared

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

In my 3rd year I had this year 11 class
They wanted a good lesson and they wanted to pass
But they needed convincing and I nearly cried
So I tried and I tried and I tried and I tried
To listen
And react
To change
And Adapt
And those kids made me better
And for 3 years I got better
Our grades were sky high
The kids wanted to try
They wanted learn, they wanted to know "why"
But I got to the top and I needed to fly
Because I needed somewhere that I could ask the "why"

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

You have those moments sometimes in life, where you know that a decision is important, but you don't know why and you don't know which way is the right way to go with it. This was that point for me. Sat in the interview, saying I wanted to pull out but letting them convince me to stay. That was the point, I think where everything changed.

2010. New job. New government.

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

I was head of Art and I got noticed
Within a year I got promoted
Faculty leader of creative skills
This is the part where it really kills
What do you do when you just aren't wanted
When people are angry that you're there
When all of your decisions seem to be haunted
By the ghost of a culture where they just don't care
Where nastiness and gossip always bite
Resting in the coffin of a lost tradition
Kids so bored they're turning white
Beaten down to bored submission
And everyone seems to have given up the fight
But they're still convinced that their way's "right"

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

After so much pain, we were getting through it
We realised there was much more to it
No more easy working out of booklets
(The teaching equivalent of rhyming couplets)
But every time you made a shift
The goal posts seemed to start to drift
And this all caused a further rift
The final one I couldn't lift

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

Gossip and lies caused by others stress
Creates a catastrophic mess
Turns people's lives upside down
Gives off the sense that they're a clown
They're trying. They're just really down
Simply trying not to drown
Marriage ending
Friends unfriending
Children's lives are slowly bending
House and finance are up-ending
Mediation sessions need attending
Everything seems to need mending
And the pain seems to be never-ending

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

Professional life vs Personal life
Professional strife = Personal strife
Personal wife goes through professional strife
Personal strife =

"I understand what you're going through, but we need to think about the learners."

Stress in teaching is the expectation
Work life balance has no correlation
The pressures of a confused nation
Makes teachers into the poor relation

Goodbye btec, goodbye vocation
Hello Gove and his minds creation
Goodbye Gove and hello Morgan
Hiding behind a gritty slogan
Creating the pressure of pointless change
For teachers to correct and rearrange

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

But here's the thing. It's not their fault.
Sure, they've no idea MPs
They've less common sense than a piece of cheese
But all MPs really do is set
Some criteria that need to be met
A league table
Academies
Appraisal
Curriculums
It's nothing new. They've always done it
But it's given to schools to interpret
We don't lose money, we just get judged
We need conviction that can't be budged
We need to get a message out
To every parent, round about
And what this message needs to say
Is "we aren't doing extra maths today,
We're going to go outside and play
Because whatever MPs say
We'll do what's right for the kids
And here's why it's right you know
Cause we want to see your children grow
We're not just for levels, grades, progress
We're also here to relieve stress
We're also here to make your child feel
That happiness is something real
That in spite of all the crap you see
You can become head of art when you failed gcse."
Learn People skills
Determination
Creativity
Imagination
Honesty
Integrity
Sen­sitivity
And empathy
It's not an easy sell I know
You can't measure how people grow
You can't report or give a grade
But they're qualities that are heaven made
And maybe think the same for teachers
We're all very caring creatures
We care about how kids are raised
We don't need to be constantly appraised
Default 100%?!?
Like energy is heaven sent
Like when your kids are down with flu
You just man up, there's work to do
When you've got a quality person who just needs backing
Why give pressure and then threaten with sacking?

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

School - this week mark all your books
I need them up to date so I can look

Teacher - I've got to take my daughter swimming
I've got to see my son try winning

School - read through your teaching standards mate
And leave your children at the gate

End of the week the books are done
But head and deputies are overrun
"We'll have to put these books aside
To push our children down the slide"

And good for them. They work really hard. It's not a job to take lightly and they deserve to be there. But they don't have the time to step back and think "big picture"

Let's flip it round and just imagine

Teacher - I'm sorry, I'm afraid I'm ill
School - you can't be ill the learners will fail
Teacher - I need some patience, I need some time
School - the kids need work which is sublime
Don't they deserve that? Don't you think?
Do you really want your learners to sink?

And there it is. The teacher guilt.
Because that's the way that we've been built
We care too much
We try too much
We give too much
We work too much
And we lose too much
We get ideas above our station
About how this job is a vocation
When we stop and look around
The evidence just can't be found
Someone tells me what to teach
Someone tells me how to teach it
Someone tells me how to plan
Someone tells me when to plan it
Someone tells me how to mark
Someone tells me when to mark it
We work to targets, get appraised
Residuals to get profiles raised
It's industry. I rest my case.

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

Or, put it another way.

I just think that teaching has lost all its common sense. And it's kindness. It behaves like an industry which is about getting results and meeting targets. There's nothing that measures people's happiness or how deeply moved or affected someone is by what they've learned. It just checks that they learned it. And we are given this guilt trip. That it's about children and that we are affecting their lives if we don't meet targets. We give up more and more because "teaching is a vocation"  "it's about kids", and yet schools use cover supervisors, cut subjects, limit choices etc to save money and get results. So the profession behaves like an industry but the teachers have to give their lives to it like its a vocation. It's not a vocation. At all. It's a job.

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

Swallow your 'good kid' medicine,
drink up the black sludge oozing off of a rusted spoon,
stride in straight rows from beginning to end,
never let your feet stray from trodden asphalt.

Scoop your brains out of your head,
accept that your empty skull rattles in a heavy breeze,
waltz around burning coals on ash heels,
laugh while smoke and flame licks soft skin.

Ahahahaha
hahaha
haha
ha...

Ha?

So i sit here spinning my pen again
Tryna think straight too late, easy man
Runnin' up, too fuck3d i don't have a chance
Too quick, too slick, made it to the end

Now what should I write before i get sidetracked?
Should i spit a little quicker about rhymes and raps?
How about advertise them jumping jacks
And how exercise is good at keeping down bad fat?

Nah man, that ****t sounds lame
Yeah i know but the actions always stay the same
Eat Maccas life hackers who cant cook a meal
And wonderin' why their trusty rusty weight scales squeal

Yeah dude, i know that a problem, hold
No matter what you sell it all gets cold
Like frozen cokes, just a dollar fast sold
Syrup and sugar that tastes too good to close

**** these hoes,
Wash it all down like a fire hose,
Where this ****t goes even i don't knows,
But I'm the writer y'all
Pshh I'm in control

Its easy too
Whip out the cash and drive on thru
Without a second glance at whats in your food
And why do i try to write to you
I'm just in the mood

Now this ain't a diss track just spittin' facts
But if ya keep buying quick you'll get heart attack
Some cardiac, not police, still arrest
Freeze with both hands up like be my guest

You'll wake on up with an oxygen mask
And wondering why your mouth tastes like a$$
Why you layin' on your back and ya wanna pass gas
But you fear if you do then your life won't last

You look to the roof and see the truth
When the bulge of your belly blocks the blinding view
Casting a shadow across the next street too
And you wonder how the doctor gonna quick-fix you

Well here's some news, flash ****!ng headlines
Perhaps if you were careful you wouldn't hear the sirens
Alarms are sounding both within and without
Never heard either, your lips flap like a trout

Just a fat-**** fish ****!ng gasping for air
Out of his habitat, look in the mirror
Because if there's one thing left to haunt your nightmares
Its the 1-0-0 flashing back to scare

Its easy man, easy man
An everyday person who doesn't really care
Easy man eats like a ****** big bear
And then a little more coz the coin helps to share

Its easy man, easy man
An everyday person who doesn't really care
Easy man eats like a ****** big bear
And then a little more coz the coin helps to share

Like whats your pant size, is it such a surprise?
Your belt buckle bursts because you got large fries?
For every day, and you got sausage thighs
God help the plane freighting you through the skies!

Sorry sir, all luggage is 20 and under
"I cant hear you, my thighs are thunder"
Your baggage sir, its far too large
The amount of fat flesh exceeds the limit by far!

Just danglin' there, and its hard not to stare!
When its in my face like when i trip the stairs!
That s**t could knock me out, fair and square!
Miley Cyrus, i found a free wrecking ball dear!

There's so much to swing from, a chandelier
Of quivering pale skin that makes my eyes go weird
When you take a seat, do you have to use two?
Do you gotta pay extra for the crane that they use?

****, son just take it easy
You spittin so much its makin' me queasy

Sorry man, it doesn't make much sense
Why the easy man cant walk up more than one stair

Like not only is it an inconvenience
You're relying on strangers spaces to be lenient
And then you gotta wonder why you get funny looks
That weight is a crime and they spotted the crook

Just take it easy, but not so easy
I don't wanna see your face shine so god-**** greasy
Like i get it man you eat when you ain't hungry
I ain't your next meal stop lookin' funny

But please, learn to look after yourself
Book a time for the gym to improve yourself
Do some jumpin' jacks it'll improve your health
Take in a few notches off that black leather belt

See? Dude, that ain't so lame
At least there was a message left halfway sane
Yeah i got half a brain, it don't take two cells
To realise that some people just as sick as well

He was an easy man, easy man
A fat fast **** who didn't really care
Once upon a time ate like a ****!ng dumb bear
Now he's callin' out the Rock for an arm wrestle, YEAH!!

ahahahaha
Easily the easy man comes real quick,
Jumpin' jacks over the Hungry Jacks fix!

What the hell is wrong with
You and your
****** up mind?

How could you possibly think of such
Terrible terrible thoughts?
You know it's wrong and it'd be
Evil of you to do that.
Very.

You don't want him to
Grieve
You want him to be in
Total regret
You want to watch him

Suffer

Stop it.
Stop it.
I'm not a monster.
I'm not like him.
I will not **** her
Just to get back at him.
I won't.
I won't.
I'm not a monster.

I'm not.

Ahahahaha...

Oh really?
You know it exists.
The Monster *inside you.
It's just waiting to be
Unleashed.

We're just waiting remember?
We're on the waiting list
For the building down the road.

You're doomed.
You're mad.

You're mine.

Eight days of seven are you lobster
Stop chains kissing bouquets
Lovely sting but punch less
But don’t stop
Please
I hate it
Ahahahaha
Front stabbing martyr I love you
Tighten my bindings whilst I take a ****.
Done? Good. I’d be so grateful if you’d take the katana from the mouth of my daughter
As they say the plot worsens
But please, do tell me about your luxurious Judas cradle
Is it to your liking sir?
Roomy yes thank you
I’ll pay half
Ten out of five on pointless dot com.

Bammmm
Powwwww
Arghhherhhegh
Blehhhh
Mehhhhhhh
Ehhh
Clankkkk
Grr
­Hmmmmmmmmmmm
Ahhhh
Ahahahaha
Shhhh
!!!!