"Everyone's dying, but we're doing it faster."

You talk to me about daisies
like my lungs are made
of their petals and my
eyes of their pollen,
and I am not afraid of
the way you held me-
I am afraid of the way
I kept on slipping back
to you as though your
shoulder was the only
one that I could rest my
head on as though your
chest was the only one
my hands could fall
asleep in, as though your
thighs were the only one
my fingers wanted to hold,
I am not afraid of the way
you held me. I am afraid
of the way your lashes paled
darker against your snow skin,
your eyes golden beneath
your char hair, I am afraid of the
way your hands felt of comfort
and still riddled with excitement,
I am okay. And not. All the same.
You talk to me as though my lungs
are made of daisies, you hold my arm
as though my body is it's stem, I am not
all the same and okay all at. Once.

scientists say that a fingerprint develops when a baby is only 12 to 19 weeks along and that it is impossible for two people to develop the same print and although i believe in science i am still hoping there is a chance that someone in the world might have the same etches on the tip of his fingers as you did because to find the same hair colour and the same eye colour and the same smile is almost too easy but your touch against my skin made even the brightest of fireworks envious and darling something like that is irreplaceable

You kissed my arms and my face and told me everything you loved about me and we went on hikes and laughed at the sky together
I thought I had it figured out
We danced at prom and you were feeling a little down I brought you up and cradled you till you smiled
I thought I had it figured out
You guys were friends and she was like a sister to you and a best friend to me
I thought I had it figured out
When you hung out you smoked cigarettes together and skated at the park and called each other "dude"
I thought I had it figured out
It's 3 months later and I'm lying on the floor while she's lying in your bed I scream in pain and she screams in joy
I thought I had it figured out
You went from kissing every scar I had to cradling her when she was sad you used to brush my fallen hair back behind my ear and now you pull on hers when she does things right you used to cook me grilled cheese and now she's getting five star meals
I really thought I had it figured out

She walked in front of my car today and it took the entirety of myself not to floor it. I saw you in the hallway today and it took the entirety of me not to paint the walls with your blood.
I thought I had you figured out
I don't even have myself figured out

sunlight flits through a wicked, worn white picket fence
bathes fading green grass in the day's last outstretched fingers
casually it recedes, the pale radiance dips behind the crooked mountain
              and the flood of night rushes in to envelop me

my face is like a broken jigsaw puzzle with pieces that don't match up and my heart is like a never ending flame of love and hatred mixed into one and my fingers are often trembling and weak but i swear that if i was given a chance i could love you better than any human being possibly could i would tell you how your eyes have more depth than the sky as the sun sets on the horizon i would treat you the way the moon treats the streets echoing beautiful lights onto the road i would swallow the ocean and pour myself dry for you if you asked me to i swear that if we collided you and i would be the world