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Vanessa Dec 2016
“Well the panic attacks that I have keep happening more often, so I went to a doctor. She thinks

I have severe anxiety / depression. All I want to do is see the guy that I’m talking to but he is

always busy. All I do is think about him. I’m Pathetic. I want to go to bed and never get up.”

“I literally just don’t care about anything anymore.”

“I’ve spent almost the whole day in bed”

“I didn’t even do it for myself”

“Laying in bed and dying”

“Sorry I was asleep”

“I don’t have the energy for life.”

“I’ve been trying to get up for two hours.”

“Every time I try my mind is like what’s the point”

“I feel so ****** I’m literally laying here trying to make the suicidal thoughts stop”

“No it’s because she doesn’t get what I’m going through and thinks it’s about her”

“I’m thinking about calling my mother…….thats how bad I feel lol”

“And queue my downward spiral”

“It still hurts”

“Everyone is afraid of me”

“**** me”
“I’ve slept all day”

“Having a panic attack in class”

“I’ve been suicidal all day”

“I will be worse if I don’t have him”

“I can’t get past him until I have someone else”

“I am looking for someone else, but people are afraid of me”

“I want to die”

“No u don’t”

“Ohhhhh but I do”

“He is probably living life not even thinking about me”

“Everyone is getting cancer and dying”

“Let’s just end it now before there is more pain”

“I’m anxious”

“Where are you”

“I’m dying”

“Vanessa”

“I’m dying”
Aug 2015 · 2.8k
I Bite
Vanessa Aug 2015
I-AM-NOT-A-DOG.
Today,
I cut loose from your leash of degrading comments.
My ears have learned to ignore your whistles
and the only thing I am going to fetch
is my dignity.

We all have cracks.
People’s words creep into our most foreign parts
And bother us like gnats in our food.
However,
At a young age my mom welded me by hand.
Sealed off every corner so
Your undignified vernacular wouldn’t disturb my peace.

Your mother must’ve had deleterious effects on you.
She told you that love can only be found through intertwining genitals.
I have iron fists and your forcefulness will not supersede my strength to protect what I own.


Let me tell you sir,
Obeying men is an archaic practice
And I wasn’t born yesterday.
I endure life with fortitude even with the threat of your loaded fist 2 inches from my face.

Your catcalls sting like the hearts of mother’s who have lost their daughter’s to the streets.
I hold my mace like a loaded gun walking in the petrifying night.

Apparently big butts lie, they give you the impression that you can squeeze, but back off the anatomy.
Remember that all women embody beauty and grace, not for you, but for themselves.
Apr 2015 · 697
Mimic Georgia O'Keeffe
Vanessa Apr 2015
Your creative lips
Draw fantasies on my cheek
That only I see.
-V. Nacho
Apr 2015 · 454
Choose
Vanessa Apr 2015
*** is your savior,
The Moonshine is your mission,
Brandy is your bible.

Sip me up like your
Last drop of smooth Tequila.
Which is more deadly?
-V. Nacho
Apr 2015 · 520
Throw Out the Calamine
Vanessa Apr 2015
I pick at your mind
Like it is last months shingles
Can't break the habit.
-V. Nacho
Apr 2015 · 341
Rolling Tongue
Vanessa Apr 2015
I'll cut your tongue off
And I'll smack some truth on it
Because that is what friends do.
-V. Nacho
Apr 2015 · 351
Ignorant Artist
Vanessa Apr 2015
He paints you as a
Bouquet of twelve fresh tulips,
You paint yourself as a ****.
-V. Nacho
Apr 2015 · 535
Gargle
Vanessa Apr 2015
I want to pour you
Into a glass and drink you
Then spit out your flaws
-V. Nacho
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
Lernaean Hydra
Vanessa Apr 2015
I looked at you and thought...
"You are the blueprint for the Taj Mahal"
I have torn down every monument just to build you.
I spit love into your mouth every night-
even when you had the flu.
I danced over six crocodiles to meet you on this side.
I buried the monstrous parts of me so you could enjoy the ride.
I WAS SUPPOSE TO SAVE YOU!

But then you left me for her.
The monsters crawled up my mattress and invaded my mind every night.
You always left your knife next to the bed,
but you never had courage to pick it up.
Even with my thick skin
I found a way to push the knife right through
So you didn't have to.
-V. Nacho
Apr 2015 · 1.5k
Condemned
Vanessa Apr 2015
You are as tall and beautiful as the Singer Building in New York City,
But your father calls you mustard seed.
The slits on your wrist spell out save me.
She protested black is no longer a color, but her insides,
And if her mom''s job is saving lives, why isn't she saving her daughter's?
When her mom hugged her it stung-
The needle and ink stippled in her back the expectations placed on her.
Her kitchen is a court where her parents find her guilty of being a teenager.
Her parents don't introduce her by name,
But by her future vocation.
The pretentious white picket fence and a dog that barks when you call it Max are distilled with dreams of catching the next Amtrak to California.
She spends twenty minutes a day cutting the rope her mother has involuntarily wrapped around her neck-
Choking out the little identity left
She screams, "Stop tearing down my infrastructure!"
-V. Nacho

— The End —