I believe in saying things out loud
To me a thought is an incomplete bargain
Unsealed until invited
to the world of the living
With a voice, a sound, even a gesture will do
That’s why it’s paramount
To say, ‘look it hurts right here”
To say, ‘it’s been 11 years, yet to me you’re always in the next room, through the door past the kitchen’
Do not let your grief bother the ghosts
A thought unsaid lives with the phantasma
And one shouldn’t haunt more alive than dead

-UV

I long to loose track of time,
To wake and fill my mornings with food and movement.
To find company in the afternoon,
Read, work or simply chat,
lounging afloat the lazy river of time.
Looking up, wine in hand,
At the cherry blush setting sky,
Bemused in wonderment just how easily a day can go by.
Scrubbed clean mind, body, and soul,
To climb in with a book and welcome
The sweet dreams with open arms.
Swaddled warm and delivered,
into the realm of peace.

Instead I get to greet every second of every day,
With the unbearable sting of frayed nerves, plucked.
Sour of mouth, and heavy of head.
The apathetic march of time feels like a menacing countdown.
Unable to live in the past, present or future,
Not a moment goes by without my searing awareness,
That tomorrow cannot be stoped.
Night fall is nigh.
The afternoon oozed dreadful musings.
And the morning unproductively lost to self medication.

I offer up a sentence
A key to my thoughts
Words fall lightly, a lover’s bargain
Hoping you would pick up my words
As one would the scent of petrichor
Eager, perhaps a little greedy for more
But you murmur something
Absentmindedly, forgetting the words before you finish speaking them
My gaze finds its way back to the lines of my palm and the creases over my knuckles
Imagining you looking up at me with something to say

-UV

Looked at it all night,
Kissed it before bed.
It stayed in it's glass sleeve,
An empty milk bottle,
I didn't own a vase you see.
I gently appreciated,
My bedside felt decorated.
The severed stalk with it's bloom,
Survived and thrived,
For longer than I'd expected.
I must say I liked the scent,
Even as I threw it away,
A lovely wilted, dead flower.
I'm writing this because
It oddly reminded me
Of the way you loved me.

-UV

We are left with the tameable
Cause that's what it took to survive
The one's with the true message
Couldn't bear to be here now
The youth with all the purpose
Are muted in the dark
The crowds that stick around
Are faded, broken down.

I don't know what this is,
A prayer, poem, a song
With all the early graves
With all the good men in the ground
I guess my heart needs consoling,
So I write to remember
This is what it took to survive.

-UV