Keep on
stabbing my heart ‘til no part of
it is unbroken anymore.
I know
only then will you stop.
Or
do you plan on stabbing the same holes
twice?

Promise me
you'll do as I want
and this is what:

When I die
treat me not as someone
gone forever
but someone who was
never here

I'll be happy to be forgotten
if my memory brings you
pain
and longing
for someone who's never coming back

I don't want to be
kept in your heart
if my presence in it
causes you sadness

I want to think I'm important enough
to be forgotten
that you need to forget me just
so you could completely
avoid the loneliness my
absence gives
that forgetting me is the only way
to make you happy again

I assume I am worthy of
your forgetting
that when I'm dead,
you can never be okay
unless you take me out of your brain
totally
without one bit
you'll remember of me

But I do want you to remember
feeling happy-
to maintain the happiness
you've felt with me
without knowing where
it came from
or how you feel it
or why you are
without wanting to know
the why and how and what
I want you to just cherish the feeling
that it's there and all history
doesn't matter anymore

I want you to forget about me
the way memories last
only until death
or maybe after they will stay
the same or completely different,
I don't know
just forget me

I want to be worthy of your forgetting
because only then will I be satisfied
I've lived my life with you
the best way I could have
and could think of

How does one fulfill
10 years of longing
with just a thought-
he's here or that
he's out there and near
hope
every day of each year
every year of the ten
that when you come back
you can speak
or we can touch
you may smile
or we may hug
whatever there may be
and
when you're here
know i'll remain aware
ten years took too long
but what a perfect timing
it had been

How hard was it for you,
dear,
to be someone the falling ones
crash on
that when everybody wished for
everything from her
and she was going down-
sure to break,
you caught her instead
and she crashed onto you
broke herself in your arms
you knew what to do
but you didn't have to
for she wanted to erase herself
from the face of the earth
like how wishes are reset
when the night is sleepy
and the darkness is tired

Will you stand

Beside me
as I watch all these bright colors
wipe out the black and white
my eyes have been so used to that it no longer
looked good
as everything splendid
unfolds ahead
I want to share the moment with you

Behind me
as I escape the ghosts of the past
and leave them behind
that when I get too tired to run
and move on
they won't catch up on me
they won't mess with my mind
I want to be with you when they give up

Ahead of me
as I block out of view
what make me cry a bucket
of wasted tears
I could save for all the merry
moments I'll get to spend with you
when you stand beside me
watching extraordinary
unravel before us

We will have great moments together

You're like a completely different person
You're just like it
I know you're not
Despite the splash of colors onto your hair
In time they'll mix up and go back to the same beautiful black
It was and still is under the brightness
I don't find okay
Despite the ink that fills the surface of your skin
If you sweat enough from running from me it'll all wash away
And go back to the same beautiful color-drained
It was and still is under the darkness
I don't find okay
Despite the carelessness you say
And the irresponsibility you do
Despite all of it underneath you are
Completely unchanged
Just thickly covered

(Spring)
So it was growing affection
(Summer)
So there was an interlude
(Autumn)
So with trees she fell
(Winter)
So he caused her frostbites for keeps from
his frost-filled heart holes from
a frost-bitten body just the same

(Spring)
So there was growing up
and there was moving on
(Summer)
So there was another interlude
and absence of affection
(Autumn)
So she noticed him again
and back was the unwanted phase
(Winter)*
So he stayed the same as ever
and remained never sorry for her frozenness