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Amanda Mar 2019
Loving me in this world
Tied to you, lifting me up
Enclosed in a warm balloon of love
We can reach the ceiling of the sky
I can taste the sun warmed vapour
As it flows down your salted skin
Kisses, melt the billowing clouds
And we ignite in lightning sparks
As the world explodes around us
I see you, as stars light your eyes
I am weightless, but your heart holds me
In our floating universal paradise
Amanda Mar 2019
How heavy, do we stroll across the world
Solid stone, are our footsteps
As we breathe, our heartbeats counting down
Until, we float away like weighted smoke
And our footprints are all that remain
Amanda Mar 2019
Blunt words can bruise my mind
But looks can cut like scissors
I am colour-blind
But can see your hate glowing red
In the thoughts pre-defined
Of who you see through covered eyes
Do you see a woman of humankind?
Or I am the alien born of your ignorance?
How can you live in a world so confined?
Where hate lives under a tainted rainbow
Was it rooted when young, or was it streamlined?
I wonder how would it have been, if you had awoken
Into a world that was colour-blind.
To see we are living in the same human skin
Amanda Feb 2019
Every silver lining is tied to a cloud
Dark and full of rain
There can be light
But you have to go through the pain

You smile but it’s only a frown
That’s been turned on its head
A mask of what you have to hide
Showing the joy, when you’re crying instead

Ambushed by friends’ good feelings
You can drown in their commiserations

Pity me. I am lost in the dark,
Dark day. Only the night shows a starry light
There I can let my mind float into the void
Hitch a ride on a searing comet flight

Grief is absent in the hours of the day
Hidden under a ‘I’m doing well’, look
But at night I can hug it close, like a blanket
Breathe in the sorrow like a well-read book

You see, sadness is a picture you can’t complete
When you are missing a piece of the puzzle
Amanda Feb 2019
I want to be silent
In a world that is not quiet
Don’t want to answer the question
So, don’t ask

The questions are loud
Like a SHOUT

They resound in my head
Can’t block the sound out
Let me have QUIET

Hush, as silent as a grave
Now I can hear the answers
Form quickly in my head

Will you ask me again?
I can allow just one more time

And I will answer in truth

We have but a minute before
The rockets fall in deathly tumble

So, ask me through your tears
And angry retribution
Was I the one to bring the insurrection?

Yes, and yes again, I did what I said
A promise, I made to one and all
I am the voice they follow, my loyal flock
So now at the final, we are on top of the pile

And when the storm has hit, then settles
And the world fades into QUIET
I can SHOUT into the silence
Amanda Feb 2019
I can hear the wind as it whistles
Through my inner spinning cycle
Of questions, as they turn around

I hope the answers can be truth
But doubt is a falling stone
And I feel the weight of a pebble rain
As I am pressed into the dark

I look for the spark of confidence
But it flutters, a bug in a glass
No escape from inside, looking out

I am told they speak a truth
But truth is a promise not yet fulfilled
So how can sincerity be accomplished
In a world full of honest liars
Amanda Feb 2019
Spend my nights counting sheep
Might as well change my name to Little Bo Beep
I have flocks of hundreds, leaping over fences
Counting them all, as the bleating overwhelms my senses
But they don’t lead me to the land of sleep
All these baa-ing, stinking woolly sheep
I’m sure they are sniggering, as they prance in my head
And I lay fighting with the covers in my bed
Eyes red turn to a window, lit with early dawn
Another night passed and the sheep have withdrawn
I head out, another day, clothes dressed inside out
Too late to change, too busy dealing with the fallout
Of arriving late to work, and to the boss’s rant and rave
God I can’t remember his name, is it Brian or Dave?
But slowly his voice fades to the sound of a bleating lamb
And his head takes on the form of an angry woolly ram
Baa, Baa, Blacksheep, the nursery rhyme sings
In my head.  I feel sudden expresso cravings
I battle through the rest of the day, coffee on tap
And at lunchtime I manage a ten-minute power nap.
Then home and an early night put into place
Hot milk, no TV, a book to create a relaxing base
I am primed for the perfect night’s sleep.
But two hours later, I am wide awake. Counting sheep.
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