I am going to miss
The smell of freshly cut summer green
When lawns are manicured
To an inch of pristine

I will always look
For the day shattering light
As the warming rays break through
The cold blanket of night

Eyes closed, breathing deep
My senses searching for the perfume
Of a remembered summer meadow
When buttercups opened in crowded bloom

Tips of Fingers
Caressing a soft cotton shirt that you wore
As my lips brush lightly over your smile
One kiss is never enough, I always want more

I will remember
Warm nights on soft white sands
Listening to the sighs of an ebbing tide
As we lay on a blanket with entangled hands

I see you
Replaying the film of this life, I was given the chance
To build memories in multi-colour stereo
And have experienced a life of sensual dance

Lay down your head
On soft velvet clover
Breathe in the perfume bed
As cotton white clouds drift over

Slowly walls break stone by stone
As the silence hits, hard as a hammer
Are you lonely? You are alone
Amidst the wreckage, as memories stir

A journey travelled by crooked road
Each turn a choice, or was it destiny woven
Every step taken carries a load
And the weight grows with the path chosen

Regrets? There were a few rocks in the road
Second chances are like fairy powder
You don’t get chance to reload
A life lived, is a life, so live it louder

At the end when peace is searched for
Lay down in a perfumed bed
Of soft velvet clover
While white cotton clouds drift overhead

If I had never been born
Would there be a space left empty
Waiting to be filled with a human form

If I wasn’t here
Would the world mourn?
This child’s life, a star of Capricorn

Would my Family
Miss the laughter of jokes never told
Look for someone, they can never enfold

Would my friends
Act on advice never passed
Who will they turn to when feeling downcast?

And my love
The one I found, who will love you now?
Will they kiss the same when you make the vow?

If I was never here
There’ll be no change in discoveries of anything epic
And definitely not missed in the world academic

So there is no reason
Why I am here, that I can see
Living this life of mundane ordinary

Yet there was the time
I helped a stranger who was in need, in pain
Though I’m sure others would have done the same

Maybe that’s why I am here
Not to live a life of fame and celebrity
Just to bestow one simple kind act of extraordinary

Hide the moon, I plead thee
Forever cover its neon glow
Pull out the stars, I beg
Let them shine eternity, no more

Let the Darkness reign
Let the world stop rotating
He is gone

Be still the birds joyful song
Quiet the bees hum, the cats purr
Let the clocks lose their happy chime
And children’s laughter fade to quiet

Let the silence fall
Let the night take away the sun
He is gone

He was the moon that filled my soul
His laughter, gave the world it’s sound
His eyes, outshone the stars in the sky
His heart, showed a love, it was forever.

All I hear now is silence
All I see is falling rain
He is gone
Breathing is all that remains

All we have in this world
Is time
To find our hopes and dreams
A blink and it goes
Like a comet
Your life, a scorching trail
Burning the days that you leave behind

On this planet of your birth
You lived
A life of wondrous adventure
You loved, were loved
A family tree planted
Nurtured and cherished
Look how the branches spread

A memory
A fragment of you
A time capsule so fragile
If I linger, too long, it will break

A Scent
A smell of you
I can breathe it in
Fill my lungs, then release, it fades

A touch
A caress, from you
Nerves charged, I shudder
My eyes open, you are not to be seen

A memory
I can smell, and touch
I try to cling onto, so tight
A time raft of our life, it’s drifting away.

When you reside in a world of perpetual sorrow
The heart is unable to decide
Whether to laugh or cry

But the sun will always rise on the morrow
Bringing warm light to another day
So maybe there is room for both

Long ago, in a time that seems so far away
Doesn’t that sound so much like a cliché?
A time before grown up became a word
When a day lasted forever, isn’t that absurd?
Wishes you made on a shooting star came true
Really? What other lies were told to you?
A four-leaf clover brings good luck,
There is gold at rainbows end. But, all you find is muck.

A time so far away was my childhood
I wish I had known, wish I had understood
That a day is not forever, they pass in a blink
Each day creating another memory in the chain link.
I am grown now and I have seen the shooting star.
I haven’t made a wish on this fiery rock from afar
It wouldn’t hear me as it travels the sky
Heading to earth on its final death cry.

It has filled the news these last few weeks
Nothing to be done, no deterrents to seek.
The world leaders have head for cover
Hoping they will be able survive once it’s over.
People look to each of their religions
Hoping for some divine interventions.
But some have decided the best way to cope
Is to steal a new television, a stereo, some dope.
They scream and rage against what is to be
Fighting in the streets in their fearful agony.

Two days to go and I have a spot picked.
I have a list, all boxes ticked.
Music, wine and a blanket to rest
For my faithful doggy companion on this quest
In the forest of my childhood play
I will find the mossy grave where I will finally lay.
To smell the earth and hear the birds last song.
Knowing all to soon it will be forever gone.

In a time so far away.

Autumn falls across the land
And trees prepare for winter sleep
Casting off their summer clothes
In blaze of gold and reds so deep
They fall to the dew soaked ground
Finally at rest, a decaying heap

As a morning sun breaks above the hills
It shines across white cotton bathed vales
Which swirl and spin against the burn
Tries to hold its misty form, but fails
Revealing a land of green and blue
And fields of sheep and straw packed bales

In the light of the growing day
Wonders now for the world to see
Resting amongst the nooks and cracks
Dew crusted strings of mystery
And at its centre at rest, work done
Sits the artist, eight legs stretched out so daintily

It is morning
An old yellow sun rises, throwing light
Onto a new born day
Here comes the dawning.
Awake, and blink away the night
Watch as star sparkled black gives way.
To a world of colours

Sun is rising
Slowly waking, trees stretch out their green
And flowers unfurl a rainbow
To greet the warmth of the rays
Awake, look at what can be seen
Purple mountains are set aglow
Nestled in a carpet of white cotton haze.
As a sky in pink changes colour

See how blue
As it reflects in crystal clear waters
Beneath its skin, an army, in silver mail
Weave amongst a coral painted range
And a light grey giant in sleep, slowly stirs
Then watch as it wakes, and with a wave of it’s tail
It races up through the blue to see the change
Of another golden day

Kiss me before I wake
Before my eyes see the day
Want to feel the last moment
Of the night’s fervour wind
Not ready to see morning break
With its golden bouquet
I’m still lost in the enchantment
Of your dark spell. I’m pinned,
Tied to this last desire keepsake
So, before passion is taken away
In the cold heat of day, take this moment
Kiss me, and hold fast our nights ardent wind

Let’s start at the end
It should be perfect
But
It fell
From the world
It breaks
But
Love is a fragile thing
We’ve reached the beginning

I can recall my toddler ways
Playing with the family cat
Running under warm summer rays
On legs with ever ending battery life
Slumbering nights and forever days

Snuggling in front of the telly
With family watching the show
Eating crisps and sweets made from Jelly
Teenage moods, smothered with laugher
As we tickle the family dogs’ belly

Arguments fly with blunted point
Want to be me, but have to follow the line
I am not perfect, I am the opposite viewpoint
Of who they want me to be
I am the one who will surely disappoint

Family gatherings at cousins being wed
Here come the questions, how they flow
When will you love? Marry? Bred?
Seriously, just want to be me
How my head hurts, I need my bed

Being grown, I’m finding my path
Not a bed of roses, I admit
But I seem to have avoided the bloodbath
I think I am happy. I think I can be me
The round peg that doesn’t fit the math

My father was a soldier
He fought when he was young
Called up, for honour, for duty
Was the nations song
At just sixteen he signed up
Leaving home and family
Heading to unknown lands
With thousands, he went happily

When I was ten I asked him
About the battles he had fought
About the medal he been given
And about the time he had been caught
He looked at me with distant eyes
And shook his head, just slight
Then in soft tone he said to me
Son I will tell, whether it’s wrong or right

Many battles I was part
Of those horrors, I will not tell
I lost my friend. No enough,
I won’t go into details of how he fell.
We fought, we died, we did our best.
The medal? That was for a life I could save
Through burning fields, I carried him
It was life or death, not brave.

Three years I spent in a war camp
Three years, until the war was done
In those years I saw torment and pain
He smiled grimly, man can be cruel, my son.
No, ask no more, past is past
There are things I do not want to re-see
I can only offer one word of advice.
Live, and be the best of human, that you can be.

Too long have I waited
The heat of you, the smell of you
You make me
Miss you
This yearning, longing for you
I cannot quiet the fire
You make me
Burn
I see the smoulder in your eyes
Taste the desperate need on your lips
You make me
Breathless
I feel your body, contours so familiar
As your arms wrap around me
You make me
Feel alive
In a deep tidal rhythm that ebbs and flows
I am rising, racing up high, higher
You make me
Fly
Arms entangled, our hearts slowly fall to a quiet beat
As breath deepens, readying for sleep. You kiss me.
You make me
Love you

Nerves fade under burnt caffeine
Slowly I sip the scalding, aromatic bean
And as my eyes close, I am lost behind the steam
Invisible in reality, I fall into daydreams
Where a life known, is not as it seems
I can pretend the lie hadn’t become mainstream
Everyone knows, everyone. Reactions so extreme
I can still feel the cold, as it filtered into my bloodstream
Sorry’s and apologies became a recurring theme
But they have as much substance as a moonbeam
Bouncing of your hurt like bubbling stream
Your words dumb, but your eyes, they scream
Why, why? And I can only hide in my fading self esteem
I saw our life, laid out, it was a pipe-dream
I lost love, but then I found him, a passion extreme.
Took my breath, heart away. I began to sparkle, to gleam
I was all I could be and more. Caught up in a rapture supreme
Leaving you, it was a tearing rent, not a rehearsed scheme
But for you and me, I had to ***** the bubble of the static dream
Let you find another love, who will want to be part of your team

So alone in a room, I sip scalding caffeine.
Thinking of you, and the lover who evaporated like steam

Running down your face
Candlewax melted tears
You wipe them away
But they stick to your hand

Hurt is finding the truth in the blame
And
I am overflowing with acrid shame

Taking the trust that we had
And throwing it all away
I can see the opaque gauze fall
And your blue vision dims

Your smile unravels, love is packed
Away.
You are gone under a barrier of thickening wax

Sorry can’t hold the heat to burn it away
So, I will pull down the sun and swallow it whole
Take you in my arms, try to reignite the love heat
As I beg a thousand pardons for my infidelity

Fame is rich in compliments
That are cut paper thin
Covering cracks that lie within

Golden is the light that surrounds you
Blinding you to realities glow
Of the gold that doesn’t show

Pieces of you are taken by strangers
As they tag onto your tail
Borrowing light from your comet trail

Loneliness is your bubble
In a room full of people smiling
As they bow down and call you king

Did you envision this at the start
When life was simple and full
Before you felt the lure of fames pull

So as the light fades into dim
Can you find who you used to be?
Be happy without the celebrity?

Loving this life
Didn’t choose it, feels random
Picked a different path last week
Right or wrong?
Going to deal with trouble and strife
Trying to get the correct arithmetic sum
That will add up. Will it make me feel weak
Or Strong?
Choices can be a chance or planned
But always leads to a spider web of sticky roads
An adventure of possible endings
Good or bad?
Striding through life’s shifting sand
You can’t head straight as a flight of crows
The journey is the beginning of wonderful chosen things
Choices made?

Tis past the season of love and cheer
Where toasts were made with wine and beer
Sad Christmas trees are stripped of glitter
And unwanted presents are displayed on twitter

Time to turn off the festive telly
Review a Christmas inflated belly
New year party celebrations
End with a list of resolutions

First day of the year, ready to go
Gym joined, going to be a boxing pro
But ten minutes in, I’m in a heap
The floor feels comfy, so I take a sleep
Okay so boxing isn’t my thing
So on to resolution No2. Learn to sing

I join the local choir, looking to go solo
But they say I sing like someone called Greta Garbo
Okay so singing isn’t my style
So onto No3, going to ice skate, freestyle
Saved the best for last, this is for me
Used to skate when I was a kid, what glee

I am nearly the star that shines
Look at my turns, how clean my lines
Ready for the leap, two and half twist, here I go
But the resulting belly flop earns a score of zero
Okay so ice skating is for the younger scene
So, onto resolution No4, Cut out caffeine

Okay, day one I’m climbing the walls
The dog is dodging flying *****
Heads pounding like hangover king
Has it really only been one hour in?
That’s enough to prove the point, Kettles on
Expresso in the cup. Resolutions done.

I am just the painted clown
Features hidden under greased concrete
Can you see the cracks as I smile?
A colourful costume covers the scars
Nothing to see here.

Running around in circles
Falling into deep water to applause of strangers
I can hear the laughter as I drown in buckets of stardust
Another pie in the face
Can’t feel the pain.

There is one who knows my true name
They have seen my true face
Love carried us flying on the high trapeze
But when they fell, no net to catch the fall
Grief now wears a red nose

Dusk brings out the moth
Wings dusted in moonlight
It flies to the radiating glow
Of the glitter ball disco
And all creatures small, enter the thrall
Dancing to the nightly pull
Of intoxicating jasmine
Lit by a thousand worm’s fire
Night flowers open their eyes
Displaying wares for all to see
Sweet nectar, shared by all
In this nightly cocktail hour

Blunt words can bruise my mind
But looks can cut like scissors
I am colour-blind
But can see your hate glowing red
In the thoughts pre-defined
Of who you see through covered eyes
Do you see a woman of humankind?
Or I am the alien born of your ignorance?
How can you live in a world so confined?
Where hate lives under a tainted rainbow
Was it rooted when young, or was it streamlined?
I wonder how would it have been, if you had awoken
Into a world that was colour-blind.
To see we are living in the same human skin

Spending time in solitude
Alone with my scattering thoughts
Ears filled with music from
A Favourite playlist

My mood fitting the songs as I
Dance full pelt in the kitchen
Hope the neighbours can’t see
Oops, too late! Grin and wave
As I pass the window again.

But I am the queen of my castle
And the moat is just a dream
So, I spend my nights in solitude
Dancing like an Abba queen

Reflections crystalize into blackened ice
As my laughter falls like pebbled hail
Cracking the dark mirror

My face falls into the deep black
My voice follows
Fading
To silence

Light bounces upon sunken hope
The pull is an anchor to the surface
Coloured blue in crystal glass

I inhale the warming hue
My heart stutters
Breaking
Through black

In my head
A thought splits into thousands
And days become the dead
As hours pass like seconds

I can’t recall
A moment when I smiled
And I saw a star filled nightfall
As a sun was left defiled

I didn’t see
A change, it arrived uninvited
And naive I pulled it into me
As the world became blighted

I fell voiceless
A mute that told daily lies
And you were fooled, spared the darkness
As you only saw my thespian guise

I mislaid me
A year of constant misery chipped away
And I grew into this dark personality
As I woke into a unknown day

I can’t be
A happy copy of who I was
And I will hold onto the love you give me
As I fight against this dark road into Oz

Eyes open onto a damp Tuesday
One dismal day out of the seven
Where clouds heavy with rain, stay
Blocking the promise of a summer heaven

I can smell the static of a brewing flash
And a false calm brings a hush to natures chatter
A boom breaks the silence, lit by a lightning clash
Storms in summer are worse, but does it matter?

Joy of chasing the rain in puddle splashes
Was a childhood game, and I still recall
Bright lightning sizzles and thunder bashes
As our laughter challenged the electric fireball

Heroic and rash, we ran with the changing wind
Years and years of foolish choices
Grown from our parents disciplined
Hand, we began to speak with our own voices

But storms can twist lives and how they change
Pulled apart onto different tracks
I saw you fall into a world dark and strange
You lived with strangers, zombie insomniacs

Laughter left your eyes, leaving them dark and hollow
I tried, I did, to show you that there was another way
But where the pack leads, you follow
You didn’t see me, had nothing to say

But like the storm, I always will look for the spark
That lighting bolt, that will bring you the strike
Of reality, so you can see a way out from the dark
And I will be here to help you back into the light

Don’t
Tell what you did
Time is not a replaceable thing
To be changed or erased
Don’t
Be that person
Because it suits the moment
Behind the shutters where you hide
Don’t
Let the moment become frozen
Like ice over a raging sea
Looking for the lighthouse to set you free
Do
Tell me what you did
Because it is the moment
You’re looking for the light to set you free
I forgive you.

I can hear the wind as it whistles
Through my inner spinning cycle
Of questions, as they turn around

I hope the answers can be truth
But doubt is a falling stone
And I feel the weight of a pebble rain
As I am pressed into the dark

I look for the spark of confidence
But it flutters, a bug in a glass
No escape from inside, looking out

I am told they speak a truth
But truth is a promise not yet fulfilled
So how can sincerity be accomplished
In a world full of honest liars

Cast adrift on a molten sea
Lost is the anchor, the tether
That held me, safe and secure
I am driftwood
With no course, no destination
Lost amongst the salted foam
I am carried to a distant horizon
Where a sun kissed sky, bleeds into the sea

Where is my safe harbour?
He is gone. Left for another shore
A whirlpool, I was spun around
Pulled into him, drowning.
Then cast out, abandoned.
I am driftwood
floating on fast, warm currents
I will go where they carry me
Until I hear the call of a new shore

Here we are
       Ending
What is a new life
       Beginning
To breathe in our
       Birth
While we look for the
       Dying
Of the life lived
       Ending

You carry me softly on a sweet melody
So clear, it cries with the wonder
Of innocence, born into a blue fringed day
I feel the vibration of my heart-strings and see
Loves poetry begin to stir
And your eyes hold me, they say
Everything

I was living a dream of existence, it was true
Happy on my independent rock
Treading through the dating tide
Seeing so many, wanting to be you
You, who brought this life change shock
Lost my wits, as the walls were stripped aside
Baffling

Softly, as a sigh that swung like a hammer blow
You spoke and I was suddenly deaf to the world
Only your voice filled this earthly plane
I was the gravity for your living blinding glow
In its growing warmth, my closed heart unfurled
Like petals welcoming the sun, putting on a show
Startling

I could lose my way in your forest brown gaze
As they look deep, into the soul of me
No-where to hide, my secrets all laid bare
I can foresee the future of my days
Can you read my mind, can you see
A love entwined, so pure and rare
Everlasting

Gentle slumber take me
Into dreams where I can
Be the person you want me to be
Become part of the perfect plan
Where I agree with everything
Just nod and bow down
Like a bird trained to sing
Look at me, the dancing clown

I see you clap and smile
As the knots are pulled tight
Around me, is it worthwhile?
Seeing me disappear out of sight
As I am made into someone new
A mute speaking with your voice
As I fade into shadow behind you
Too late. I've made my choice.

If I hadn't said yes
To a friend
I wouldn’t be here today
Not in the mood, looking a mess
But, a birthday to attend
No, was not an option to play

So, into the city the girls and me
Ready to dance
Forget the broken heart misery
A few hours and I can begin to see
The old smile, a chance
To laugh and chat happily

Wasn’t looking for a romance
But your eyes
Spoke of the possibility
So, I smiled, opening the chance
With no hidden lies
Risking my heart, as it beat its plea

Talking above the throbbing music beat
Oblivious to the heat of the crowd
As they moved to tribal sway
Hours in the dark, a corner seat
I hear your voice, above the constant loud
Chatter, as your smile takes me away

So many years have since passed
But I can still hear the song
That accompanied that first touch of lips
I knew that it would not be the last
As we pushed our way through the throng
And outside, our arms became an eclipse

Was on the cards we joined our address
Then soon after, we joined in marriage blend
Looking back, I believe fate had a hand to play
Because, if you hadn’t said yes
That night, to a friend
You wouldn’t be here today