What if you
Are waiting for me
To speak to you
While I am waiting for you
To speak to me?

it’s the first day of school
it felt kinda weird
i don’t have classes with my ex
cuz he left
i think i did some damage
after he stabbed me in the back
and he knows he deserved that
so he left our school
kinda like how he left me
he’s oddly good at leaving
it’s kinda funny
cuz like i was brave
and i saw you face to face
and i didn’t cry or run away
infact i laughed
and he knows i only laugh if it hurt really bad
but he sure is a coward
ran off right when he realized he really messed up
i was ready and willing
ready to face it
willing to face it
but he’s a coward
i’m brave
i hate being brave

i saw him today
he was wearing grey
he never wears grey
he wears blues and reds
purple and beige
but never grey
why was he wearing grey?
i don’t know why it bothers me
or why everything he does still effects me
even though he left me
i’m angry that he’s changed
cuz im still the same
and i hate me that way
and why does he get to be happy after everything he did to me?
because i’m still crying about that random friday 8 months ago
i wish i could hate him
despise him
forget him
but he’s everywhere
he’s in the words posted on my wall
in the tears that i wipe from my face in the stall
he’s in my clothes, in my bed, in my head
and in the sky with every sunset
people say he misses me
but if that’s so true why did he move on so easily?
cuz he’s dating my friend

well we’re not friends
not anymore
that girl
i trusted
i confided in
yet she went in found him
said i lied to him
and then said she loved him
she made him leave me
resent me
hate me
yet i’m kind to her
i include her and welcome her
heck i even sit with her when no one else will because they hate what she did to me
but still she talks about me to him
blinds him from the truth
she’s saying i hate him when that will never be true
i miss him
i love him, not romantically but unconditionally
and i really wish he knew it too
but, yeah, i saw him today
he was wearing grey

We met in January
                                     Seven months ago

You told me I was pretty
                                    Seven months ago

You pushed me away
                                    Six months ago

It was deep, in two places
                                    Six months ago

Green eyes, Brown hair, and a nice smile
                                    Seven months ago

You said that it was going to get better
                                    Six months ago

Vincent, you left
                                     Six months ago

I loved you
                                      Six months ago

Reader,

                                        stay alive
                                   stay alive stay a
                                live stay alive stay a
                                 live stay alive stay
                                    alive stay alive
                                        stay alive

                                        stay alive
                                   stay alive stay a
                                live stay alive stay a
                                  live stay alive stay
                                      alive stay alive
                                              stay alive
                                                stay ali
                                                ve sta
                                               y al
                                              ive
            ­                                 |-/

all in a group
talking after church
they asked you about a girl
you denied, denied, denied
you keep looking at me now
“she’s just not my type”
you’re looking at me
with eyes that wonder if i care
if im possibly jealous
it gives me a spark
a glimmer of hope
cuz why would you care if i cared?
i must be delusional

A Girl to Cherish

She maintains a steady gaze,
With desire, or makes my heart pursue her as a chase.

She has a smile that melts my heart
And pierces through the uncertainty in my head.

She is kind and modest, embracing everyone,

But she maintains a cold distance.
She is steady and keeps her space,
She doesn’t want to hurt anyone and wishes the same.

But her fate doesn’t let her desires come true.

That’s the secret behind her steady gaze.