Let me regain...
the self-worth I've forgotten
my buried confidence
and ebbing self-esteem
the identity I covered
with constant threat of judgement

reinstate boundaries,
secure my privacy

Let me take back...
my own peace of mind
my ability to choose any time
my voice to speak my mind;
let me hold the reins, and decide...
to move on from being deprived

to know happiness again,
and relax with less worries

Let me collect...
those times with you I wasted
the precious support I needed
the many hands I was offered...
without   fear, freely fail and succeed
then once again, be free to reconnect

It sounds selfish, but I'm doing it
for myself, and those who deserves me

You embraced mortality too! 
I didn't expect that from you.
Sorry I refused to rule,
sorry I left you on your own.
We were gods before,  
now we are but fools
Traded our eternities for a cause;
mine for selfish adventures,
don't know yet what's yours
No regrets in my cycles...
Have you prepared for yours?
Not all incarnations are easy
I hope next time; it's you I'll see

Time's a hateful friend
Gracious with chances
Until
When you badly need it

If ever we'll miss ours
If what we have sours
Then
Let me save the hours

Should my memories bleach
Or I be incapable of speech
Please
Know I'm still within reach

We saw each other more often
frequent as the primes in 1 to 10
Mending each other’s boredom
widening our degrees of freedom

Ranted on things under the sun
Noted our signs, roots, and sum
We took turns airing problems
Shared proofs for peer checking

Did sanity check on our numbers
Whether in life, music, or games
Exchanged secrets and dreams
Reciprocated emojis and DMs

In the end, we skipped one thing
An asymptote we avoid touching
Assumed “us” was undefined
Then met our limits and resigned

I have travelled
through time
with nothing
but a pen

Dark secrets welled
in paired rhymes
silently praying
to be cleansed

Miserably failed
with slurred line
only growing tensed
wary 'til the end

Lips tight, sealed
with murky mind
attempts to converse
a glimmer of sense

Wandered so long
I desire to cease
being on my own
for without ease
I've pressed on

I've fought alone enough
My battles, many to count

Relinquish control
Cry for help
catch my fall
Guide my leap
and fix my fate

Math is where we first met
I observed you from my seat,

Occasionally glancing at the door
Thought you were cute and cool

Oh no, you caught me staring!
Then... things took a weird turn
Suddenly you started reeling
As if having diarrhea and burn
Like a fish out of water, uneasy
While miming weirdly at me

Your eyes pointed at my paper,
Then a series of stupid motions
I had to lip read; you said “answer”
You gestured to copy my solution

Oh crap! Stop goading me please…
My emotions, bordered love and hate

Infatuation, now, transitioned to regret
You ignited an inner battle I can’t take

My grades here weren’t that high!
God, I’m no good with numbers!
I tried protesting, but your eyes…
They were pleading… I surrendered