"You  cant study properly
You cant dance properly
You  cant sing properly
You cant talk properly
You cant act properly
You cant play properly
You cant read properly"
I couldn't see properly
I couldn't feel properly
I couldn't breathe properly.
Now
I cant breathe at all.

When spring turned to be autumn
all the flowers fell out.
Your love may be seasonal,
but it is still growing in my heart.
Do I water it or let it wither?
Do I cry or do I shout,
That this is no longer up to me my heart has already drowned

If my blood turned into rubies,
Everytime I cut,
At least I would have an excuse,
To do so.

It started slowly,
Not alerting me as it came in,
Creeping gently,
Like it might break my skin.

The pain in my heart,
When I smile,
The pieces that fall down,
When I try to laugh.

But when I cry,
I am all right,
All the pain,
Goes away.

When happiness enters,
My heart meddles,
Making me breathless,
Feeling like an inanimate stone.

Fake, Fake, Fake, Fake, Fake, Fake

That's what my smiles truly are,
And when the real one pops,
I try to battle it down,
Before it topples my emotionless crown.

I feel suffocated,
I feel weak,
The monster inside of me,
Wants to be free


Every time I cover up my face,
With an emotionless mask,
It rattles it’s cage,
To punch back at those remarks.

But I'll wait,
Patiently,
Until it's time comes.
And my mask has to fall.

Isn't it funny ,
How when Im happy I feel like something bad is going to happen,
and yet
when Im sad I can't predict happiness,
only predict darkness ahead.
Like I can never see the light ahead of the tunnel,
But always can see the darkness at the end of light.
And Yet, I choose life

Pure white lily,
Which wasn't supposed to drown,
Sank into the sludge,
As her roots left her thinking she was fine

Don't cry.
Aeroplanes don't fly when the rain falls

Scent of ocean on his hair,
Im so far
yet it pierces my chest.
Smell of crushed leaves,
On his fingers which he'd snapped to get
my attention
Telling me that I'd been zoned out,

It was his smile, a little tired
Lack of sleep, or a tough day I couldn't decide
Are you ok was just the surface,
Yet I hesitate to scratch it, let it made a scar.
Dance of a few words, and a few hellos
and goodbyes
Hallway interactions with unsure glances
But the sparkle in his eyes compliments
the harmonies in my soul
And though I promised to,
I couldn't let go of the strings.

It is,
Afterall my fault,
For telling my trusted,
With what's in my heart
And expecting them to help me.

It is my fault,
That I don't have the courage
To continue what I started.
Let the thing I started
Range from homework to my life.

It is my fault
For being born, in such a good environment
Cuz even with things people would die for,
I can't live.

Everything is my fault.
This is the truth.
But to myself I lie,
And put the blame on others

Sometimes I wonder,
If I was born as a mistake
If I was named by mistake
If I was taken care by mistake
If I was recognised by mistake

Sometimes I wonder,
If i make so many mistakes.

Sometimes I don't.
I know I made the mistakes.

But I lie. And tell them
" By mistake"

So many mistakes, to fill up the big mistake.

The big mistake is me