The essence of a successful life is going beyond your mistakes, bettering yourself every step of the journey as you are learning what want to embrace, and achieving what you are capable of on every page.

If I were to look at myself through new eyes
I would see the adjustment of the lens as vividly as it once lived in my mind  

I would see the moth stuck
in the Venus fly trap
cycling around a light that would never come down
It was an illusion of the most high
only to show me the shadow
of the butterfly  

Caught in between its flight from the thorn
and red illumination
It took 10 years and one more
of metamorphosis
to see the change
I clung to
yearning
for

In this dynamic  
In the rain
fading
The leftover film dissipates
That is freedom  

As it came to life.

Colored matter
Transformation days
Exposes the gates
of my future
Life in the heavenly divine

The anxiety of the unexplained
Is like an impoverished state
A mental ache
Caged alone
Sidestepping the back of an alleyway
pummeled in
cobwebs
Squeamishly awaiting the sentencing of a scarcity filled critter approaching its death

The existence of him; an individual
And myself
I thought I knew what I felt at the time
The excitement in my chest
at the very thought of speaking to him aloud
Even in my thoughts
In my dreams
The relationship between them
has been severed by it

As though it had been abandoned
By the riverbed
of endless possibilities
met with the banks of effortlessness neglect to which nothing happens in the end

I kept
waiting for more to flood my insides
in due time


It was not my energy alone
that was responsible for this repeated
Cycle
We were unprotected and unrenewed: despite him always speaking of protection
it was manipulation before any sort of new,
A blinded experience
That I did not choose to see

Only a man who is ready for everything, who excludes nothing, will live the best of relation
to another as something that can grow and remain alive

I willed myself to exhaustion

This existence of fear
as a large or small window depending on the day, I only knew pieces of that room, he showed me a heart contained by secrecy

Placed by a locked door
a slipshod floor on which he walked
up and down the steps of my attempted understanding

He had his own fatal security
And a dangerous
insecurity that created a madwoman out of me

I felt out the shape and the textures of his cornering
A room set up to be a closet without light
He said he is a prophet
Like God
But all he created was himself as a stranger

To me and whoever knew him

I did not want to be a prisoner.
But I felt trapped
Nothing could worry me
I kept going with it

I had no reason to
mistrust that world for it wasn’t against me.

YetI was alone and the dangers did I try to love

It seemed to me the most alien
But I wanted to trust him without faith.
How can that be? It was not in faith that I believed.

Perhaps all the wolves of our lives are cloaked
in false princes clothing
waiting to see us
even for a single moment
beautiful and brave

And they don’t even know why

“Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.”

Knowing what missed me
allows
me the room
to find what is meant
for me.
What is meant is how it unfolds naturally.  

The perfect karma awaits to be unfolded.

Today is for creativity and the courage to act on the most natural creativity in order to achieve desired goals.

There is a commitment to an act of resilience
A sense of peace that every act will be as it stands
Like the ever evolving stage door
Closing behind the end of a line that has been said off hand by a player
In his complexity

They know
The end is nothing more
Then a beginning near

I don’t claim to pretend I know
The safety of that harbor
It will come to me
One day
I shall
Keep you close to home
Even when uncertainty
feels like its wrapping me up
In protection wear
Aviators block the feedback
glare

Blankets of snowy days
Endless
And timeless months
Replay
Out of nowhere

As the bloom comes

Because all the men and women merely players: have their exits and their entrances
One man in his time plays many parts
As his acts become all ages

The Exit reads
Perspectives
of combined measure

Living
Dying
Anxiety

Finding the way
Sliding in and out of train cars
Wondering what makes a life less
like battle
Fielding
Towards the new absolute
In an Outside Game

I’m glad to know
In my imminent realization
of the breakdown
The departature is erudite

I won’t be going alone.

For the company I count on is more important

the passing of the months in time
Becomes clarity in the innovative mind
the closing of the bureaucratic disguise
the fault of the common dime
in a denominator
that disappears in the forest swept away
by the inadequacy of nature vs nurture

Unconcerned with the future

The decay of the personal and the collective

Morality is unquestioned
these days
the disintegration of the social fabric of cohesion
the deterioration of the forces that be

The decline of innovative value from one’s drive to make the difference
Is not always enough to survive
That is the end of an age

The way to new health must paint the way to all things imaginable

Let me find you in the galaxies

At another time
Among these aesthetic images

I’m loving you
Spontaneously

While I breathe

3,2,1
Flashes

Feel like a sacred mystery
Behind my life
I imagined
And it came
into form

Eternity reborn

Infinity plays with my mind
In affirmative action
Every day is the vision

My creative flow unstoppable

Eternity reborn

I thought of her as my best friend.
The sister, the role-model.
I never had that from another woman.
Almost a decade older.
She was blonde and Brazilian.
A former successful attorney.
What does that really mean though?

The woman I was becoming:
Shifting to disempowered without even knowing who I was spending my time with.
Damaged and betrayed
She looks for external fixes for internal problems.
Let’s buy some hair and skin care for you, she’d say.
Ignoring people. Always working.
Without knowing why.
Uncommitted to her appointments.
Lost in her 1 dimensional world
It sounded like 5 out loud.
Something felt off.

I continued talking to her about all my relationships, it felt like her life was spilling into mine and I couldn’t get out.
She encouraged me through her own past to be involved with a man who was highly unwell and attempted harm on us both.

These were the facades of the longest shadow, and also where the most leaning in, learning, growth, and shifting took place for me.

She never made time to be my friend.
Women who invite you over to cook and bake, go out for dinner or tea, drink, make silly videos on YouTube, get your hair and nails done, and drag you to parties, may be friendly towards you but they aren’t necessarily what we call friendship.
Physical and emotional care is wellness. And I knew it.

But, we ignore the signs I think because we believe ourselves into feeling like we need someone when they don’t need anyone.
We don’t need, we just focus on building ourselves, discovering health in new ways.

Values, personal qualities, standards, strengths, and illuminated boundaries are the ingredients to the foundation of a true friend.

It took me almost 2 years to speak up and drop the knife.

Look for the meaning in the experience.

Nothing can make up for the aligned place within.

I have since showed up to never expected experiences that I created from what I’ve healed from.

Now this woman can go inside, she can shift it, and externally it must change.

This is personal power.
Evolving deeper and deeper into the highest expression of who I was meant to be.

We all have attributes that make-up our  character.

Attributes show up, but they are inherent to our nature and it is a matter of adaptability to get out of situations that we need in order to be our best and to become these healed attributes.
And it happens through living our higher self. And that self is mere awareness.
Dive in. I believe in you.

The perfection of triumph
to form a stellar nebula of what is
the next chapter arrives to collect

And bring it to a close
just to leave behind a smoldering corpse

the core expands as it does cool
after burning its hydrogen fuel
ejecting the he said she said tool

outer layers
sloughing away
words covered in dew
brining a star's false twilight
as the flora swings back the curtain
drop into this deep well

of conscious fare
a direct deposit
a victor's enlightenment
standing from inside the vale;
a weakened canvas
without a promised word to spare
just a dithering of parting
from a sky lit window; all too stagnant

Where is there to hold cover?
What is left to hide behind?

The messages
of everyday depths
untold
of everyday depths
a sunken ship
below the surface

Just a tousling back and forth
out through the mouth
puerile to the brain
the questions taste
Just a chirrup of a phrase
gone awry
and
undercooked

Into hollow shaded parts of hue
the lambency of a first call
muting itself
and wishing it to be other

A bandwidth of loss
For the reward of two

In the interest of truth

Repeat:

I am the gleam in the golden
The spark in the stone

I am the wave in the kite
The heart of its air

I am the last piece of pie
A sliver of hope

In a world that can’t feel
I keep on
fearless  

I am a fresh page in my book
A property of strength
A witness to life

In the front of its mirror  

I am the one  
that fuels faith in my trust
to move forward and beyond

My time is the entry to my freedom.

I ask my mind to ask my body to relax into what I truly feel and nurture it immensely.

For I love my life because I have created it; through my choices which my free will has given me.

Through the Universe that equates to all knowingness. I took the risk to believe and stayed with my faith.
And it never let me down.

Say thank you everyday. You will begin to uncover what lies beneath your own surface is the only matter.

With ❤

Love's mysteries in souls do grow; but yet the body is a book.

(I am)... my own I am

I am the Creator
I imagine what is not there, but what is felt
What is in my bones

I can feel that
That is deep work.

I shift into new spaces
I lead with my courage to be brave
When it is hard to be brave
these days
in America
But we have to continue on.

I choose to find the pieces of recognition
To sift through those parts
That make up my identity
Who am I?
Who is anyone?

To make them whole
Isn’t that the point to
our purpose?
Of our salvation? To. keep. going on...
Gliding slow and refilled in short and long truffled steps through alleyways..
Eventually towards a valley that may be
called our own.. whatever that means.

Being a co-creator I touch others
I become the mirror of their soul
Sharing a glimmer of mine
And that’s enough...

To feel..
to hear..
to know..
Plentifully.

Not to understand more or to fear less
But to see the truth come forth from underneath this...
creativity.

What is creativity, but a fleeting image
A passing thought
An air bubble of time and space that sounds great, but appears jagged
in its form and flow

No questions asked
No worries;
thoughts to dance
around.

It is just and it is human
Formed for a mind and
heart
The body of its source
It is I, the Creator  
And... I am proud of that.
For this is my creation.

Creative ideas just flow out of my mind naturally
Artists: Natural selection = the flow of creation

The dream was real

Felt by the drops of a summer moon resting in its orbit
I remember when your arms would coddle me at under silky sky mornings; gravity taking shape

Let the patterns listen to themselves
see what they see
through their window eyes

Let the numbers stand there
be what they are

in their bodies
black
brown
white
and
unfiltered
demonstrations
when it equals soup and salad
without a price for bread

Let the silverware be tarnished
and cups clinch
only quiet figures hear

When we gazed into eyes on cut up streets
midnights in July
thinking about our untold stories
lightening August set off days apart

I began with love, hoping to stay there
I don’t want to leave another note

I don’t want to leave another note
I want a feather-bed to rest our heads on and make love

You have no idea how much the burgeoning of reminiscence relieves me when it costs not one molecule to love
to make us whole again and again
It’s free because it’s there

Feel the motions electric breeze like the wind
sometimes it places us on the pane
to watch us move

holds us in between the spaces
I am now in the scene of a precious transition inside and outside bream breathing in pink noise
washing away all that was left that came before restarting the scene

Once more
is an opportunity for the bird to saddle back on its wings
perch on the top of its one and only  
and try again  
saving what’s left of its oxygen
a single tree
meaning is without nothing  

There is something there
something there
these feelings pared
in our chemical reaction
evolving in our evolution  

Let’s agree that
1+1= 3 years
and two turns into one squared

Memories stay
when they’re still there
there is no erasing
what has not been left undone
in the kind of ink
that makes a white board look
sedated
splayed out
and painted  
in the image of our golden chair
leaving its imprint scintillating  
unscarred; unerased

Markers
leaving their mark
underneath the lindens in the back and to the right  

We used to taste the warmth of ripeness
in avocado green and lime juice press
no more pitted seeds

We’re standing there
standing; looking
from its new location
coming from an alternative universe
understanding ourselves
from a different place

Let the numbers stand there
be what they are

Let the math not add up
in their bodies
black
brown
white
and
unfiltered
demonstrations
of matter
gravity taking shape

Will always
Always
equal where we are

Spin-ning your 3 fold dimensions
the rhythms
when they call

Calling
Sharing
Reflecting
Shadowing out
in awkward motions  

Makes logic
hope in familiar
shapes
and
sizes

They both have a message.. don’t they?

Sublime is the present tense today

Feels liquified
Drained from my senses
Smoothed over in the
colors
of a fortified
resilience
(That is real strength)

Frosting over layers of
“A cubic futurism”
dynamics only the wind and seeds
of the sea
can recognize

When they are felt and heard and seen
By you.

Rebirth
Delicate flower
withered and dying
in sweltering heat
of a merciless sun.
Tangled vines crush
bruising and bleeding
while roots of this flower
search for the meaning.

Suddenly rebirth!
a butterfly beauty
glorious colors
of rainbows delight.
Wings now unfurled
heavenward reaching
free now to fly
into infinite light

Savour your scent nectar
Stay with me and the wisdom  

I thought my aura left you
my eyes, my voice, my face,
Observing  
caught between cracks of silent speech
You continue to recall me
Since we first met
I was not once taken
out of your memory
for a moment you became stronger
more defined in my absence
the temporary cannot make a sacrifice
it will not later claim  

We dropped the knife
The bond already came

A Butterfly’s Eternity is born out of the source of all inner fulfillment
It cares not what the flower speaks, but what the vision states
in the back of its wings
mid flight
In a state away from its side of the garden
It keeps on

Reminded of love
for what it does everyday
to find the flower
Remembering its why

The stillness of its knowing brings in the creative resilience
Even on rose’s alien stem

We dropped the knife. Remember?  
You can move mountains with the greatest thorn.
You can do this.

Oh Pomegranate
please slice me into parts
without your
large  
blood dripping seeds
leave me to stay
dry on my skin
Give me the roles you’d never play

Your shape bends with gratitude
rolling toppling fluidity
staining my lips as
my teeth
smile lovingly
returning the call..

Holding the pinnacle
of your embrace

Your vulnerability
stays the same
you are the only thing
that can look at me
face to face
Subjugate your art and call it
A moral compass
tasting the fruit of its efforts

The stillness of your body
Overcomes the anxiety  
the kind of
one eye awakening
you find
when your head
leans back on the board
A sublime reminder of
My past with
Worth

The stem of your flowering core coterie was chosen
Cut
For rebirth
To re distinguish my soul
To enlighten my wholeness
with your awaited existence

It left me growing
On an open tree
Waiting to be picked

A powerful  
open light leading
to my highest self

A vision like yourself
Cut open and alive
Blood flowing
Block the mind

Where there was once division there is none
that could be present

I am strong
In the space delivered alive
The devouring of sweet certainties  
of what is seen in my new world

Created between me and thine:
The nature of the experience
Rising in relationship

Healing from what was once a truth harmed
None but you have found your way
and a reconciled soul

Came to pass
in the ominous night
of dimly lit days

On the day
I set myself free
from the constant dispiriting show of puppetry
That is called madness

chose to create
the
whole

Resiliency. Renewed.

I personally don't believe you have to change fully, but it's not about that, living this life is about changing or adjusting aspects of ourselves to fit the needs and desires of who we choose to be, and to continuously make ourselves better through creating who we can be.

You are doing it and you know I have faith in you. I appreciate that you have helped me realize certain attitudes I have had as well. I have become less afraid to speak your mind. What is meant to be must flow.

Bonds develop differently between people depending on their past life.
But they are malleable and they are shifting.

I am not what happened to me.
I choose to be what I have become.

Learning about the celestial body allows for an understanding of the advanced emotional body.
We have an eternal life force that preserves our senses’ persistent accuracy.

Painting is the silence of thought.
Color becomes the freedom of its vision.

Walked out of a door.      

Onto a tightrope

What does risk feel like?

Carving you out of cut outs
Identifying the body

Adrenaline lining my veins
Above board
See the planets fade
In and out
Of their eclipse

We must breathe for life
Living air
Has no replacement
For it cares too much

Gold: What a perilous color
If you knew me you would complete this sentence: The dance of my hands...

Take away the ornamentals
If you were a maze I’d keep
the funnel going
And leave you on the ground
You keep trying
How can I refuse this history
Your eyes on me
In the times
I didn’t even know
I was scared

Metaphor of the golden chair:
Grounding in the chair
Stability and steadiness

The chair
A stained engraver of wisdom
A distanced observer
never goes away
It levitates
without a floor
There can be no door

Sat in the corner with a cushion under
the past
Do we spin and spin until we’re settled?

A sand dune still smiles
even
in its discomfort
Overhearing the conversation

Let’s talk about our night on the rooftop
I’ll I had to do was open my arms
Stick out my eyes tussle my hair
handprint my aura on your tongue
And still you persist

The shape of the chair
Obtuse and contained
Its insides are safest when left to its own devices shield itself from any interrupters
Sun rays spanning
Untouchable
Royal
Snakes
Guard the
Mysterious

Gift giving celebration
A secret wish
It turns on it sides
Still confident  
A Neon light
Fills my sanguine sensitivity

Can we see feelings that cannot be seen?
To felt feelings; the purest kind of seeing
This is 5D vision baby. I mean it.

Open the drawer this time
The chair will unlock your world
from the inside
Your mind
mind reads my insides
All over again  
Open it up
Unwrap the words with your lips
Now look up with your serene
chiseled
Face
me
You’re facing the other way
after you
read it
to
me

Makes me smile hard and true
like the lotuses laid calmly across
my *******

Let your glands embrace the message
I have been saving for you
genitalia secreting the flow

It’s more than that
There’s a layer left
To feel relaxed
Taken apart even in its sturdiness  
Above
the invisible ledge
Where this chair sits

In the spring of
2018
When
Freedom took the butterflies and tried to extinct them from my world

Took their wings and split them into inharmonious melodies
Inside of hidden sapphire
gemstone
rings


Through the Holy Sparkle of these promises gliding onto spirit paper.
Linoleum marble

Glass mirrors
refracted



The Majestic creates
The manifested
Lady
Shift
Power
Unfolding silk curtains
sheets
Glowing
In the rippling
fields of magnetic supreme
Dipping in and out
of the dabbling
Serine

A screen that presents itself through transmission televised
Masks both pleasure and pain

Did you ever think “what does the unseen mean”? Did you ever think about its capacity to heal the unrelenting wounds of days gone by and give way to newness?

The movement towards your cause and Shift?
Such is in the live vision of an idealistic pursuit to be loved that measures up to how we wish we could be in our able bodies
But not all express their will
Like eucalyptus trees growing behind a fourth wall
Whispering to one another in vein

Show me how others see me.


We are made in the image of stardust
An ethereality
of a naively romantic quality
Made for God's knowing


Do you ever think about if the sun and the sunset ever met?

The power is not in the oppressor
It is in the light of your own inner wisdom
The current drawn from your internal knowledge
Electrified in your personal power to change

Think of your palate as the chess board of your creative life.
Play out each step as fully as possible until every player in the show is mesmerized by the substance of your continuous results and initiatives towards unwavering courage and success.

Artistic Enlightenment:
The knowing that we can be spontaneous beings in a world of uncertainty.
More now than ever before.
As artistic creators we can envision the truth of a moment in a dream, but still understand the causality that time moves on without us always being present to it.
Like molecules of human consciousness, our beingness moves through and through until they stand still.
We have to stand still sometimes too and allow all the noise that comes with the effort pass at the same time.

Loyal to who you are is what you have the power to create.
Ambition can be paced.
Your desire to produce and provide value will be fulfilled when you begin to share gratitude for the “I am” that you hold yourself to be in the back of your vision. That vision is a part of you.
That grand vision is your mind.

This is what God or the Universe has chosen for you to put back into the world for yourself, this is all you, so that can feel that come forth and be all that are for others.

Love with you is admiring the trusting realism of the blessings I have encountered both with and away from you
Knowing the day of that imaginative act woke me up and has been one of my greatest
self love victories.

How misguided we are in thinking our best partner is there when we haven’t believed that of ourselves.

My mind has been lifted, my spirit heaven apprehended, great art invites us to apprehend its beauty for it knows that I am the result of progress that has been chiseled time and my time here is eternal.

Truth is one frame inside the heart of the one who believes and creates all they have to make with what they have to express within all possibilities.
All is possible in the realm of the imaginal act.

Revisited
on top of this mountain  
ice translates the morning  
into textured hues

holding space
a tempered mood
the gaps within the crevices
await their next patient
cover the sleet of past years
after Innocent expansion founded

prepared and ready to hear time to use its wiser words
readying to speak out on behalf of itself

the clocks of experience taught its distance in a cold hiding place
calling out beyond the peaks of this mountain: the shadow of its
fearful chasm persisted:

“You must find another way” shouted the early tinges of this sun’s glare
like a vein’s intentional gaze
Purple and green light
you're somewhere out there this mountain felt it
for all the sunsets God has ever named  proclaimed it (in me)
heaven heeded the specific tone
the only thing needed: was to listen to it's causality
and so it acted upon the thought
like a silent note swirling around
unlettered
unposted
franked for some time in the future
passing as bicycles
fading out
cross crossing the steep of this mountain’s hill

It got out of a maze that swiveled and turned at its intersection
no stick needed
shift and change positions
until it fits in
just
thoughts imagine colors
the picture stays in mind
I didn't act until I felt time holding my waist
the arteries opened up
wrapping me around in Chenille
moves its wand
whispers in this mountain’s ear

habits focus on the final flower
selected once
revisited in the dreams of the observed human looking down

persistence enwraps itself around the crevices
fills them graciously with consideration
the taste of specificity
In its human rapport
had been selected

This mountain’s end
does not replace the past
it’s fullness predicts the future
To be whole

(The most beautiful opportunity to live and to reign your love in)

An artist does All for art’s sake.
That alone takes you to I am..
This is the message: of encouragement and practicality that all artists require to keep up with the many parts of self that create their craftsmanship and center them towards such revelation.

You are what you love, not what loves you.
My soul is the truth.
When I act, when I dance, I feel better.
I know what I need that much more.
My creation is my evolution.

The other side of a place is a calling
for indifference
That is the other place

I’ve had years of ambiguity
Dark gray rings on laser stripped moonbeams
Tasting the edge of lemon peels
Savouring the after effects on my lips
Like green mint listerine
On my tongue

Unwrapping
the lengths
of my fingers
Feeling like I’ve been tossed away
Still Finding ways of testing
Out
Where the ends connect

Kinesthetic thoughts firing like billiards
Neurons couldn’t keep up
I felt untouched
Without self-worth

Because the specifics have yet to be realized
This was story of my mind
I voided myself

Dissonance felt calm
As wavelengths perused
The earthy sands
Printed their scattered
Particles
Dust flames
Bubbling experiences
Explored moments
Have been the seas
Waiting to erupt into volcanic domes

Lava drenches all that make us: afraid is when the air is nothing but pressure
A temporary frontal sinusitis
Hoping for Freedom from arrested development
Not enough reflection
Felt like Creating everything else
but a still life



I am looking for my other
In another place

I’ve heard for so long:

“You’ve seen so much
Which enables you
To understand so much”


The lack inside
Composed
My cravings
To raise a standard in me
I never knew existed

Acting on all of my learning
Accumulated awareness
as a young adult woman

This is the beauty of  
Transformation

To know when it’s your time
and to do it with care

Before sharing any form of message you must first accept and acknowledge:
the inner language of another.

“The most important things to us will leave us if we cannot find ways of sustaining their value.”

White poppies
(Resilience, purity, promise, power) Surprising eyes peering through their nectar filled muse
their core uplifting, the angel whispering blanc blooming
Strength, purposefully persistent and yet calm
water and rain
clears all debris away
across its ****** petals

Infinite potential.

Standing Proud in delicate ivory cream
that feels the truth
and embraces
it
now.

Take gems
of fortitude
and create a string
of wisdom

The Light always bars the shadows.
God is a guide to what is for you not to change your circumstances in place of You. Only you do that.

You don't have to know me
To write a word

Or feel me
out there

Feels like I'm in space

Feeling you walk next to me
Diagonally
on cross streets

And not see me

Seeing you discard the moment you clicked

My picture
Remains

In a mirage of meringue and memories
Stuck inside my brain
This hurts

Please Forget

Me

Please…

Do not favor only the word
Is that all you have?
Is reality as bleak from the inside out?
Tell me.

You make it seem so far away
Disjointed like limbs miscounting their branches disconnected from their hippocampus

Your prefrontal cortex
Jagged
For the Jugular

I'll have you know…

I can cough up whispers
Tingling twisted

Circles around my
Shortened breaths

Wrapped in all I know

Still I would never see your paintings on the wall

Still You could never see your paintings on the wall

Climbing
False poetry and lines
Unraveling the recital of a lifetime


Go AWAY WHY DON'T YOU

Stop writing.

Leave me to reflect amongst the truths that refuse to let me go

That continue to let me know how much stronger

I can be

How much I am without your weight
Your manipulations on high
Swirling like puppetry
upon my shoulders

Knees abound by once your word

I once read you Khalil Gibran
I remember that.  

The Prophet is my life.
And I love him.

I can only imagine someone like him
to fawn on
and vice versa
Oh, how the times have changed...

To make a Lover's call


For it is clear as the Praise on my

Softened pillow

Dried tears

I am not calling

I am Becoming

Loving
Being
Fully Me in Furnished Uplifting

Unpeeling in the Layers of immaculate forms

Smiling into sunset waters

Majestically
At peace
With Me

I am home.