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clmathew Jul 2021
Poet after poet
written July 10th, 2021

Day by day, and poem by poem
my home and my life
fill with friends and lovers
who took the time to write to me
through the years and distances.

Jane Kenyon sits
on the corner of
my dining room table
a pool of calm
for me to dip into
anytime I need.

113 poets (I counted)
from Copper Canyon Press
are in residence between the covers
of The Gift of Tongues.
They enliven the desk where I write
always falling into respectable order
when I peak in before writing.

Mary Oliver, Pablo Neruda
Olga Broumas, W S Merwin
and other dear friends
sit on my shelves
sometimes amiably discussing
other times heatedly debating
each other's sock choices.

George Bilgere, Ellen Bass
and Gregory Orr
have seduced me
filling me with awe
as they stimulate my mind
my lovers far away
who talk to me in chapbooks.

Poet after poet
I wonder how many
I have not met
because I have not found them yet
or they were not preserved or published.

I bow my head
in a moment of grateful silence
to those known and unknown
who make my world
a more lively place.
I love when a tiny bit of my sense of humor comes out. I never know what I'll find when I sit down and start writing. I hope your days are filled with dear friends, lovers, and/or poets.
clmathew Jul 2021
Fatigue
written July 16th, 2021

Fatigued
I swim
up through the years

overshooting
into a desert dry
future wasteland

so I dive
back down
trying to reach

today.
I hope you find rest, and today.
clmathew Jul 2021
Sudden Grace
written July 6th, 2021

I wait
for these moments
of sudden grace

   light piercing dark storm clouds
   a perfect note improbably held in song
   the golden hawk on a suburban tree branch

when suddenly
I can breath.
The perfect note is at 3:13  in “Adam Lambert - Performing "Believe" by Cher - 41st Annual Kennedy Center Honors." Ok, it’s the whole song. Go watch it. Cher wasn’t the only one crying during this version of her dance-pop hit.
clmathew Jul 2021
The stars hold in their place
written March 27th, 2020

Now I lay me down to sleep
in this safe warm soft bed.

I lay on the bed
and feel the surface gently cradling
the parts of my body
heel calf thigh hips shoulders head.

I pull up the covers
to hold me and wrap around me
keeping me warm and safe
through the night.

I smooth the soft plushy over me
then snuggle it up to my chin.

I glance beside me to see my favorite stuffie
my long-time companion
who always sleeps with me.

"Alexa, play Pandora"
and soft music fills the cool room
this haven of safety and calm.

I sigh and close my eyes in peace.

The stars overhead no longer spin
but hold in their place.

The universe cradles me as I sleep
in depths of peace.
I have struggled with sleeping, forever. I've got poems filled with nightmares and restlessness. I look at them, and it's no wonder I wasn't sleeping. I wrote this poem to try to reflect a different view of sleeping. It's not exactly a poem, more a bit of positive thinking, for the next time I go to sleep. The last few lines refer back to an early poem about not sleeping.
clmathew Jul 2021
~She said "Hello?" and only the echoes returned her greeting.
—Erin Morgenstern, The Starless Sea

Only the echoes answer back
written March 24th, 2020

She cries out to the depths
   opening her heart
   saying the unsaid things
   screaming in her muteness
   sighing her pain
   cradling her isolation
   begging for answers
   calling for connection
   giving voice to the wanting
And only the echoes answer back.
clmathew Jul 2021
~who shuts our eyes in calms of beastlike sleep.
—John Balaban, "Riding Westward", Gift of Tongues

Spinning off self after self
written April 20th, 2020

After a lifetime
of being afraid
to close my eyes
for what demons
might come
while I sleep
unable to defend myself

I ask who will protect us
as we sleep
unguarded
from the terrors of the past?

I shuffle through selves
like cards in a deck
spinning off self after self
searching for just one
who can close their eyes
in calms of beastlike sleep.
clmathew Jul 2021
Stars spinning overhead
written June 16th, 1997

stars spinning overhead
the trials start each night

it seems this once stable earth
has become a wild carnival ride

as i lay me down to sleep
i pray the lord my soul to keep

each night this seeming reality
plunges me deeper into fright

like a never ending free-fall
drowning without dying

ever persistent these things in the night
what more do i have to give?

awake until i'm dizzy
till i finally take to my bed

but it seems that nothing
can protect me in the night

from the stars spinning overhead
This poem was written one night when I couldn't sleep. Most nights, I can't sleep. Not nightmares, but fragments of nightmares. An early poem.
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