My dear,
If I were to write you a song,
I'd surely fill my lungs

My dear,
If I were to write you a letter,
I'd surely kiss the sun
Burst into a thousand flames

My dear,
If I were to write your final words,
My pen would bleed
Of all you've been
And never seen

My dear,
If you learned I wrote your story,
Would you understand
Forgive me the tears
The loss within,
If you knew each line was a beautiful creation of mine?

My dear,
You are always mine
From infants cry
To burial time
Don't despair today
This line will become yesterday
You haven't seen my melodies or poetry
We'll kiss the sun another day.

Since, you've been gone
I can do what I want
There's so much this heart longs

Its been ten hours, since I last called
I don't know if you're still alive
In my head

Nothing dies, it's no surprise
After all the drinks and friends
You're still in my head

I live to breathe
Nothing else
It may seem so simple
As if there is more but there is not
I don't enjoy holidays
I'm not quite sure why
Every time I think of Christmas time
I want to cry
I usually enjoy sleep
The nights would be my favorite
But my mind has recently
Scared me out of that
So I live to breathe
I live for my chest to expand and empty
The rhythmic working
Of my heart
Circulation of my blood
From my head to my feet
I simply live to breathe

Your love
has dried up the ocean
in my eyes,
so when the pain
seeps in,
I pour the wine
of your thoughts
in my pen
and let the words
(I write to you)
get high
and cry...

I listened to my inner voice....
When I was filled with fear, when I learned at a young age that real monsters do exist and they are not like the ones in any story book I ever read. The monsters stole away any normal childhood that I could of or should of had.  Pain muted my words from flowing and poisoned my thoughts into growing... this is why I trusted no one.  
At the time I had no other choice... when I was
really the only friend I could totally depend on and count on
I listened to my inner voice...


I listened to my heart...
When all I could hear was a pounding in my ears, when all around me was like a crazy chaotic whirlwind screeching like a barred owl that would then break apart into tiny pieces and sink into a cold abyss forgotten by the sea.  I couldn’t forget the grief as it was real and still inside me. There was a brokenness about me my
heart was fragile and it balanced on the tip of my own desperation
but still I listened to my heart...
          
I listened to the words...
Slowly but surely I was able to come out from that darkened sea and was finally able to try and heal me. Words became my saving grace. I learned to not have muted lips and could give myself a fighting chance. I was able to tear down some of those protective walls to try again to live only in this moment without the armor and the hesitation. Writing became my new love... together we became an inseparable piece of one existence...
I felt so much better after I listened to the words ....