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The sharp taps of the clock await my silence to break free from my wistful whisper—to never hear it while my eyes are shot open, to find my nerve and trigger it—as the sadness carefully passes through my system. Too far gone to care, leaving me paralyzed in a cold, soft, sinking bed.

It was a momentary piece where my head had the sensation of being stroked like piano keys, where a soft yet disturbing melody filled the place, and I closed my eyes, lulling me to my deep slumber.

There’s that unknown peace where a deep slumber could lead to an eternal doom—where the past, the present, and the future collide together, where everything exists together, whether in a beautiful song that’s pieced together, or loneliness held in thousands of agonies.

One thing is for sure, I have the guts to love the doomsday, and all things are possible because it is the end of May.
I haven’t been writing for months already. Maybe because I use my time to stuff my soul with the tasks in my work. Lately, I have not been feeling well. I know in my soul, there is an itch of hopelessness and anxiety. But I’m holding myself together.

For myself today, and for myself in the future.

I was able to come back into writing because of this song: Staying - Lizzy McAlpine
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                       At the Barracks Gate


                  “Underneath the lantern by the barracks gate”

                                                 -"Lili Marlene"


There were two lanterns at our barracks gate
After standing inspection for Cinderella Liberty
We passed beneath them to catch the Number 7 bus
Past Balboa’s eucalyptus trees, into downtown

Where sins of the flesh awaited our E-1 fantasies
But instead we went to Mass, found a coffee shop
Nervously walked along Lower Broadway
Tried desperately to look like old salts

Carefully stayed away from Lili Marlene
And ‘phoned our parents from the lobby of the U. S. Grant
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                 Child Injured after Accidentally Shooting Himself

                                                       -headline

I’m sorry, Daddy
I didn’t mean to bleed all over the rug
I’m sorry, Daddy
It really hurts
I’m sorry, Daddy
I only wanted to play with your favorite toy
I’m sorry, Daddy
Why is everybody yelling?
I’m sorry, Daddy
I don’t feel good, Daddy…
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                              What Did He Say?

She sat on the porch with her big orange cat
All cuddled up happily in her lap
When we arrived to drive her to an appointment
In a large building in the center of town


The doctor said something about stage 2


She had little to say as we drove away
And when we left her at her home again
She sat on the porch with her big orange cat
All cuddled up happily in her lap
i am thinking of greek letters
and roman numbers
numbers in lletters
i went dressed in a flag
not a watermelon
i am olive green
mustard yellow
and dark khaki and that
skin on if shoe
i see a poem like a painting
i am painting
PHI
THETA
the Alpha becomes the ALTHA...
and the numbers
like B 8
% S
5S
Z
2

               write Amersen:
EH
SHE ETA
EH

                     Epsilon:
colon
and semi-colon
greek post soviet
russian reimagine the empire
now kings speak

I1
iota liter
lgu
glug glug...
         glue
sort of "neu"
new...

now
beta
with a tau
ksi
X

i wonder
beholden
i said i
love you
now that's a death
wish
i think she already kjnoiws
knows that...

   i think i have no memory
i have lost the time
origins story
the monkey and the half monkey
and how the world
was written...
and how it writes itself
into itself...

told not to gamble
money is abstract....
so the problem is
existewntial
existential
microscopic
therefore big
like sonisaur
dinosaur BIG
               i love you.... i **** you...


21B Beehive Lane
cleaning the house
laughing at Enigma
started to love the music
and the white sun
and you  cleaning the house
i then see a home
i see a heart like a room for a child
and what man claim this peace
in the abstract of *****...
ego...
Naryan - the prodigy....
and the moon of Shiva and the Sun of Pegasus
and Vishnu... because
South America
Africa
India
and Siberia... the Anti-Europe....
the birth of this white little man...
Europe is a train spotting affair
i am European in Siberia
my Africa....
my Africa oh my Siberia////
mother dear... dear mother!
the Yeti and the Kong King!
Godzilla.... interrupted.... sorry.
On Parkland Pond
Cygnets Echelon.

My day is deep, long

Encompassing
A million feathered years
There's something about the rain
that brings comfort from the pain.

That washes away the tears,
or at least masks their stains.

That chills a burning heart,
numbs the throbbing pain
turning the world blue in solidarity.

Do the angels cry with you?

Sometimes it seems they do,
as we lift our heads for Clarity.

Smiling through the pain
for there's something about the rain,
and in knowing the world is crying with you!
Just something that came to me today
Take out everything.
Tear it all out of me.
Take out everything.
Rip it all out of me.

Take what you need.
Tear it all out of me.
Take what you need.
Rip it all out of me.

But you only feel it on the outside.
You wanna leave it where it stands.
You feel the squish and kick it aside.
And hope that no one understands.

You hear the yell.
You ring the bell.
You fight the battle.
But no one knows just what you want.

You scream the scream.
You rip seam.
You grip the paddle.
And no one knows what house you haunt.

But you only feel it on the outside.
It never gets under your skin.
You take your hate and put it in your pride,
‘Cause that’s the only way you’ll win.

Let out an impotent scream,
When nothing’s quite what it seemed.
You cry out, “victim of circumstance”.

You’re caught up on your hate.
Ignore mistakes that you’ve made.
All your misfortunes were merely chance.

But you only feel it on the outside.
You turn your head. You look away.
You favour peace for only one side.
I guess there’s nothing more to say…
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