When my ****** showed up on under the "people you may know" tab on fb. It felt like the closest to investigating a crime scene that I've ever been.
That is if you don't count the clock work ****** that I make of my own memory every time I go down Colfax avenue.
Still
I sit in my living room and I search for clues.
Click
He is Smiling...
And I see myself caught in his teeth,
He's Dancing in some club In a city I have never been to.
Click.
He is eating sushi over a few beers with friends
And I am under his finger nails.
Click,
I know that alley.
Click.
I killed the memory of that t shirt.
Click.
This...
Is a baby picture,
There is also an older man,
Presumably his father.
They're are both round, And bright and still
Smiling....
Click.
He is shirtless,
And I see myself in the weight room mirror,
"#beastmodeselfie"
I call him the WOLF, when I write about him.
The WOLF!
So as to make him as story book as possible.
The WOLF!
When I write about him.
Which is to say my
Memory..
Escapes the ****** When the internet suggests it.
Facebook, Informs me we have
3
Mutual
Friends..
Which is to say, That he is people you may know.
And that, I AM People you may know.
And there are people who know,
And people that don't know,
And people that DONT KNOW THAT I WANT TO KNOW,
people that I am afraid to LET KNOW,
and probably people that know him,
That know of me, that know OF the word
NO!
NO!
NO!
NO is a flock of sleeping sheep sitting in my mouth.
And now.....
Now I know the wolf's middle name...
And what he listens to on spofiy.
And the all to familiar company he keeps,
And he can no longer be
"The wolf."
Or the nameless grave I dig for
Myself.
We have...
3
Mutual
friends
on Facebook.
And now it feels as if they
Are holding the shovel.
64 people..
liked the shirtless gym pic.
4 people
Have told me that they'd rather I said
Nothing.
2 police officers,
Told me I must give his act a
name
or it didn't happen!
That obviously I could have
Fought back.
Which is to say
No one comes running for young boys who cry
****...
When I told my brother,
He also asked why I didn't fight back.
Adam....
I am...
Right now.
I promise.
Everyday, I write a poem titled
"Tomorrow"
It is a hand written list
Of the people I know that
Love me.
And I make sure to put my own name at the top
By Kevin kantor
You are not a victim, you're a survivor