Cathy

Cathy Feb 2020

How to come back from loss
How to revive a heart
How to soothe the grief
How to make a start
How to mend the trust
How to block the fears
How to spark the smile
How to mop the tears
How to heal the hurt
How to say I’m safe
How to speak your name
How to find some faith
How to let go hate
How to then forgive
How to love again
How to let me live

#loss #grief #love #life #forgiveness

Cathy Feb 2020

I should have

Well here’s the thing I want to say
I should have said it anyway
Before there was ever a chance
Before a change of circumstance
Before the risk was there of you
Forgetting me, I love you

#love #regret #forget

Cathy Feb 2020

A lonely place

You’ve found yourself in a lonely place
With nothing left to lose but face
That you try to save but fail
To see the never ending trail
Of destruction from your hate
At an exponential rate
Trust has fallen, love is lost
You didn’t think what it would cost
You at the start when you began
And now I wonder if you can
Ever find a way to heal
The hurt that all but you can feel

#hurt #lonely

Cathy Feb 2020

Hush

Hush we’re not talking about it
We have nothing to say
No we have nothing to share now
Nothing can help anyway
We buried it deep you can’t find it
And we won’t let anything slip
I can’t even try to explain how
But I’ll try to give you a tip
Just walk away, what you don’t know
Can’t hurt you or anyone here
We smothered emotion completely
So now there is nothing to fear.

#grief #hidden #denial

Cathy Feb 2020

Ambush

Do you get ambushed by the “if onlys”?
I bet you do
Just when you think you’re ok
They sneak up on you

Cathy Feb 2020

Social media self harm

Petty jealousies
Private miseries
Disappointment
And pain
Surly bitchiness
Moody temperedness
Abandonment
Again
Losses sickening
Anxious quickening
Sweet temperament
In vain
Endemic meanness
Battling endless
A tournament
Insane
**** sticking so well
On walls of my cell
Negative bent
I wane
Positivity
Wholly lost to me
What if I spent
This vein?

Cathy Feb 2020

Sick of it

I can tell you’re sick of it
I am too
I couldn’t describe how much
Even if I wanted to
I haven’t any energy
Left anymore
I’m starting to wonder
What the struggle is for
Why do I persist
In trying to get things done
I should go and hide
From everyone
Then I wouldn’t
Need the help from you
With tasks and doors
As I struggle through
I can see my pain
Reflected in your face
I know you think
It’s out of place
That it should be gone
Long ago
Oh if only
That were so

#pain #disability #sick