i miss the girl I was
the one who trusted Paul and Mike
the cousin and the uncle
because they always hanged out in the house
and narrated a lot of stories
because they complemented my transition to womanhood
and looked forward to meeting my husband
i miss the girl I was
before they did the same thing at differently
before my favorite dress became tatters
before I screamed till I fainted
before the **** and the bleeding and the crying
before fear for men became a second skin
before sleep became something I couldn't afford
before incessant hooting set a tent in my head
i miss those days,
by the pool and porch,
swimming and laying on the grass to dry
sipping juice during Christmas eve
i miss those days,
especially 10th July and 24th September
i miss those days,
when I was their blood
and they wanted the best for family
if you happen to see those days
or my first face,
tell them and her I miss them
I just do.

In spite of everything,
the giant mantle is yours.

the rats ate away the gowns of honor
the rust ate away the glitters of the crown
the years ate away the smoothness of skin
out of terror,
none touched the fierce spirit
the spirit of a hero.

she is just a foul charm,
a concrete figure with an infinite spectrum,
every day freeing her wild,
to get what she aspires to find
her skin ages
but the wrinkles don't get to her spirit

Darling,
they say they miss you,
the girls from the dance club,
how your moves radiated potency.
the orchards at the end of valley,
how you traveled for miles to water them.
the homeless members from the filthy place,
how you were never disgusted by the party of flies

the alcoholics, the abandoned, the pimps,
how you welcomed them to your heart,
and those suffering from weird illnesses,
how you bandaged their wounds
even I miss you,
how you told me to be kind,
they say your presence gave them hope

"Huh,
I think it is funny  
how they say shamelessly that they miss me,
cos none of their deeds showed appreciation.
I gave my all,
over-watered the flowers
until there was nothing left in my bucket,
I saved them from their demons,
Only for the demons to make friends with mine,
they should have asked me,
whether I was also okay,
traveling for miles,
just to show love.

I am sitting on an abandoned porch,
telling the players in my head to shut the hell up,
because I have no one to save me.
the banging is too loud
and I have a gun on my head,
don't weep for me,
just tell them to love unconditionally,
and give selflessly,
but never forget to tame their demons,
and to ask each other how everything is

tell them again,
that this cruel world needs kind people
people who receive and also give an ear to the givers.

He said
I want magic
Something fancy
With glittering markers
And deserves this slogan
The universe said,
Forgive yourself,
For what you did,
For what you didn't do
And ooh, seek guidance from the soul.

Hush,
Walk with me,
Away from darkness,
To sit on the lit porch.

Hush,
Pay heed,  
On the light shining from you,
Because best things glitter,

Like that heartbreak you have,
For it lecturers,
About who to trust,
Or the betrayal,
About who to give your back.