Isn't it weird
How
When kittens are born
They are afraid of us
It's almost
As if
They knew
That the world
Was a cruel place
Even before they were born
They knew
We were not to be trusted
It's sad
That they
Were born
With fear in them
It's sad
That we cannot
Do anything now
To change it

I’m tired of hearing
the same things
“you’re amazing”
I don’t want to be told
I want to be shown
that I’m captivating
of your attention
that I’m worth your days
Words mean nothing
without the feeling
behind them
that evokes them
in the first place

This site
It's people
Are more amazing
Than the people I see everyday
Here
You and me
We understand each other
We share the same problems
We stick up for each other
It's different
This world
Than the world outside
And I'm starting to think
That I love this world
More than the world outside

Lying down on the ground
Thinking about what we could be
About how we could leave
And never come back.

Questions carry in the wind
asking for a simple explanation
for what's holding me down.
I don't have one.

How do I tell them
that I've lost all motivation,
that I don't feel anything anymore,
that I'm just numb,
that scars line my arms,
that I'm desperate to feel anything
even if it's pain?

How do I explain
that in a room full of people
I still feel alone,
that a friendly face
no longer feels friendly,
that I'm alone on a boat
drifting through an endless sea?

How do I say to them
that everything has lost meaning,
that there isn't a shred of joy in me,
that everything I do feels mundane,
that I'm on autopilot,
that I'm just going through the motions?

How do I face my little sister
and say to her
that I want to leave her behind,
that she'll be on her own,
that she won't be able to come to me,
that she'll no longer have me
to comfort her,
that I won't be there?

How do I look my mother in the eye
and tell her that the child she brought
into this world is desperate for a
way out of it?

Questions carry on the wind
asking for a simple explanation
for what's holding me down.