I don’t believe I was wrong
For searching for a cure at the end of a sharp blade
Or at the bottom of an empty plate
I just wish someone had told me sooner
That fighting pain with more pain wasn’t the answer
That what I actually needed
Was to take the time to find more of myself

This girl refuses to spend
anymore of her life
kneeling in the dirt,

tending to others needs
before my own.

My spine will not be bent
so others can stand tall.

I am worth so much more than that.

I saw my lifeless body
and yet i mocked it
letting violent
self-degrading
words and thoughts
carve into my soul
destroying my self-esteem
making myself truly believe
that i was
unlovable
worthless