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Before you go trust in me,
follow the warm Autumn fade.
Watch the geese to their journeys end.
Warry words I will not speak.
I shall return and talk of love.
Our story is yet to be told.
Speak your words
Speak them loud

write them down strong

scatter your thoughts on the page

write till your fingers are numb

drain your heart of the blood
so filled with pain

unlock the chains
on your soul

take an axe to the tree
that's diseased inside

giving only
fruit that's no good

its roots won't hold
its limbs will split
in the very least wind
rising up

finding its grim branches
comfortless

even birds
have flown
taking with them their song

let it fall
let it compost
create fertile loam

say goodbye

cry
as you must
water this place

this place
that you've cleared

scatter fresh seeds
allow them to sprout
unspoiled green

then
let your light shine
on
new growth
 May 2018 Jesse stillwater
River
some days are like rain,
   they make your body ache

you feel the pain
   rise through you

you close your eyes
   you remember

open your eyes
   you swiftly forget

it's easier to stuff it all down
   right?

that dull ache in your wrist
   is a forecast of rain

you think, oneday
   you will rise to the day

like the phoenix
   emerging

but a storm rushes in
   and rains on your parade

you open your mouth to speak
   no one understands you, anyway

all you can think of is hiding,
   it's all you can dream of

you ask: this is life?
   you're bewildered

you try not to think,
   because when you think you remember

all those lukewarm friends
   everyone who left

some days are like rain
   they are silent and still

the disassociation takes over
   the emptiness seeps in

the rain gets into your hollow house
   of vain imaginations

i pray that this rain might
   serve as some sort of healing elixir

for my bones need fixing,
   my heart needs healing.
 May 2018 Jesse stillwater
saige
you can't see the forest for the trees, so
i made my way up a pine
and for those few, glorious moments
i was nine years old again
but it wasn't the thrill of the climb, no
not that time
i was just getting a good look at where
i was going to die
 May 2018 Jesse stillwater
saige
Yellow is my favorite color!
she exclaims
As of today? because
this is news to me
Nah, maybe last week
i mean, it's the color of sunshine!
and smiley faces
and golden retrievers and-
Bananas, i have to add
because she's peeling one
even though it's hard to tell
since it matches her tank top
so astoundingly well
Exactly! she smiles
nothing yellow there
only white, now that the braces are off
anyhow,
while she rambles on
and offers some fruit to a chipmunk
i pick a dandelion
one that hasn't wilted
into wishes yet
and she flashes that piano key grin
when i present her with the **** and
she sticks the thing behind her ear
just like a pencil
pretty little ears that haven't been
pierced
thank you! it's perfect!
and she flings her arms around my neck
just to prove it
then she parades away
straight for the sidewalk
bright flowery dot
bopping around in her curls
and as of today,
yellow will always be
my favorite shade of everything
I can't remember
Whether it's love or leave
That hurts the most
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