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As a child, our feelings ran free!
                         But….
         in the way of this world
       as we grew into adulthood,
     we were told that our feelings
    are not as significant as reason.

As we grow,
we are taught that showing feelings
                  is childish
we are told to control our feelings…
     Don’t let them see you cry,
showing feelings can be dangerous,
         it can show weakness
     making us seem too sensitive.
And because of what we are taught,
  we don’t always understand them
      or even know how they come.
But, they do come, knowing us better
          then we know ourselves.

    But I know that feelings matter…
         Love, pain, joy, hurt, happiness.
    Sometimes they can be small,
  like when I smell cookies baking
          and I miss my grams.
  And sometimes they are massive,
     like when my granddaughter
   died at birth and I watched her
                   come back!

However, if you are fortunate
       and I mean, really fortunate,
            that one feeling will come along
                   that will change everything!
I remember such a feeling,
and how it flooded my heart years ago
when this guy invited me to his community
and showed me his kind and loving heart.
And not so long ago,
                when I looked into his eyes!

And those are the same feelings
                   that I have right now….
The feeling that you are him,
       my future, my love, my heart, my life!
And this feeling, I trust, I believe in
    more than anything I have ever trusted
       or believed in, in my life!
Because with you, is the only place
      I have ever felt was home.
 Jul 2018 Miss Me
sadgirl
dear depression,
you were the girl next door,
everything i was curious and scared of
and when you struck me,
it was more shocking than if you came up behind
me and kissed me on the lips

dear depression,
you were my best friend
for so long, my only friend
and when i was going to sleep
you talked to me,
told me i wasn't good enough
but your voice
was better than no voice

dear depression,
you pushed me to the edge
and i nearly tumbled off
but at the end of the day
i am still breathing

dear depression,
you pushed me over,
and i fell
but as i fell,
you whispered in my ear
*write
 Jul 2018 Miss Me
Seán Mac Falls
.
1
Wet welling from earth
Deep valleys, hills, sweating *******
I plung into her


2
We are lost at sea
In moonless night our soft cries
Curled waves drowning us


3
Above her in bed
Little breaths lifting our bodies
Eyes, fingers, dreaming


4
Her green eyes are set
Jewels from sargasso seas
My ghost ship is wrecked


5
Her long hair tangles
No struggle in rising— then
We are rapt in bed


6
Her eyes blinding me
Milky way of her body
There is a heaven


7
In forest we taste
Each other in evergreens
Hot dews on the moss


8
Blissful time kissing
My bare thighs sink into hers
Running sands so quick


9
As olive or grape
So shed, paired souls are threshed
Out of their bodies


10
Hummingbirds share truths
Nature sounds with all sweetness
Bee in the flower


11
Always in a field
Wild flowers— a bunch to pick
Herself a bouquet


12
In the park we walk
Flocks of white birds taking flight
Two hearts light as air


13
We kissed under moon
Pox of stars grew flowering
Nightshade of her lips


14
She took me to bed
Skinned in bliss— was reborn, lost
In her satin folds
.
It's such a pleasant morning
I'm not going to do a thing
I am sitting drinking coffee
I see a lovely display of wings.

I love these early mornings
My working days now done
Watching birds of every kind
They really are such fun .

The crows they are going crazy
There are thousands in the air
But the pigean on my bird stand
He isn't going anywhere.

Now a black bird he is gliding
In harmony with the breeze
He doesn't seem to worry much
He takes refuge in the trees.

What ever happened  to the sparrows
We don't see them anymore
They always used to be around
A little bird that I adore

Maybe there is a message
In the way that these birds sing
Take note of there morning chorus
And there lovely display of wings.
I live on a place called the wood and my house is surrounded by trees
And that means birds. birds of every kind.I sat relaxing drinking a coffee
And their were birds of every kind flying outside my window
Crows seagulls magpies robins and wood pigeons
Sometimes
I cry because
I hate myself for
Needing and wanting love
Because I feel like I don't deserve it
Like I'm not a real flower,
Just masquerading paper
Folded where I'm told
Into something
That is just an imitation
Collecting dust and yellowing
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