The odds are against me.
For I am nothing.
Stuck on a road that leads to death. This feeling. The moment. It's killing.
I cannot breath so why am I here?
I cannot see, and I cannot think another thought.
Believe me when I say I am hopeless. Break me into pieces and throw me to the birds.
I am weak.
Let off the gas so I can take a break. This overwhelming heavy feeling on my whole body. I

don't know what to do.

I don't necessarily have a religion. I don't like religion. I believe it holds you back spiritually. I'm just going to have to explain.

I don't believe in any one "god". I believe that there could possible be a creator. Someone higher who made our galaxy and pressed play.  Maybe in a different reality than ours. An alternate dimension within our own reality. Maybe when we die we never really leave, just pass through slides and given a new perspective on reality. Growing spiritually through the layers of life. I don't really know how we got here or if there is an afterlife. No one knows for sure. I've accepted this. This thought process is just an alternate view on life that I chose to believe to entertain myself. Something I've come up with to please my inner day dreamer. Something you cannot deny because you can't prove me wrong.

smashing personalities, something like colliding stars.
silent tragedies are what i love for,
break my steaming heart so i can write more.

I remember we talked about something,
That ultimately lead to nothing.
Using my body to ease your mind
Forgetting him was not hard to find
I am an object used for lust
I have no feeling my heart is a bust.
A careless male that has no soul
Drowning in pleasure pain is our goal.
Claw, scratch, and bite I can go rounds alright
Tell me you love me but only for the night
We crave something we done need
Take off those heels and follow my lead
*** I feel shame, I find my height in this story
A sad reminder of a love once mandatory

I'm here in this world ripped and broken. 
Calling out your name in the same voice I've spoken.
Lost in a crowd with no one to look for. Listening and waiting for your voice puts myself at war. 
Waiting on and endless flight. 
Speaking of that forever sleepless night.
Gone gone gone, with no one to go to. 
I'll never feel the way I'm attracted to you.

I'm searching for a real love.

I'm a deep drowning undone emotional mess.
Mistreated heated gone in baked stress. 
It seems longer than time itself. 
Back and fourth we go gives you time to find yourself. 
I give you everything and all of my anything. 
Bringing all of me to meet your something.
Shaking in these dull moments for what?
Because I'm opening doors loving you shut.

Like kids playing a game in the fresh cut summer grass at a park. Careless and full of excitement. We laugh and act as children. Our lives are linked 1450 miles away. A feeling of secureness in someone you've never touched. A life you've only seen through pixels on digital screens. There's not a chance I will ever meet my corazon but I don't care. Intriguing my mind and challenging my soul, one doesn't forget. The feelings you invoke with your innocent smile that alters my perception on life. You give me a different view point on a model man. Something about you makes me want to be glorious. I am emotionally invested.

I was an innocent teenager so madly in love that nothing else mattered. We used to talk about leaving that small town and making something of our lives. She used to make harmless comments toward my caramel complexion in contrast to her milky white skin. We thought nothing of it but that wasn't up to us. Her parents were ignorant and we were colorblind. I remember the day I stopped feeling

I turned my shoulder when I left to college and ended our suffering. The pain was so much I made a selfish decision to rip out my corazon. I never intended to taint their precious daughter. Evil won for once. She kept my heart because I left it beating on her concrete drive way.

Now I am bound to no one.
a hopeless romantic incapable of love. I think to myself if I will ever love again. Dreaming of someone that sparks my interest. Hoping she would take my soul for keeps interrupt my selfish feelings towards emotion. I dare someone to skin my barrier of rotten love and moldy affection. I will never feel again.

Some of my most beautiful memories are with her. What am I supposed to do with them?
This is the problem I face today. I don't know how I feel or what to say. 
Crazy within, mind undone, stress sleeps in.
Can't deal with myself, who is looking back at me?
I don't know where I am or who I can be? 
The beat of the drum lingers in my ears. 
Putting on this smiling face for my peers.
Stomach churns, fingers tingle, fire inside burns.
Where are my problems? Lay them out in front. 
No more desires, the wolf is out of hunt.
It's only when she's present that I feel.
This big hole in my heart I'm trying to heal.
Hear my words because I sing to you.
The sunrises and the moon sets too.
my love.

Talk to me about your inconsiderate thoughts of leaving everyone and everything behind.
Tell me about all the pain and hatred that lingers in your mind.
I want to know why you do the things you do
How you got there and why your favorite color is blue.
Explain to me you life from the start.
From your first memory to the time you fell apart.
Let's walk to the edge of the earth and skip rocks on the clouds.
I will never let you stumble or fall, I am your crutch this I've vowed.
I have a love that does not sleep.
It's all for you and yours to keep.
Keep my words close so you can always remember.
The sad cries of a poet locked in December.

An innocent teenager so madly in love that nothing else mattered. We had a bond that no one but distance could break. A fire we thought would never extinguish. A world we thought we could change.

I turned my shoulder and made a choice to be free from connection and emotion. The choice I made was selfish/necessary. I needed to find me. She kept my heart because I left it beating on her concrete drive way.

I am bound to no one.
a hopeless romantic incapable of love. Pressure gauge my understanding of a woman. Try to take my soul for keeps and interrupt my selfish feelings towards emotion. I dare you to skin my barrier of rotten love and moldy affection. I will never feel again.

Unlock the inner perceiver
Nothing more than a day dreamer.
Take me to a place of unimaginable sights.
Big waves with pretty lights.
I contemplate my existence to a spec.
We are just a space in retrospect
What is this life that we seek
Something unobtainable we peak.
An empty hour glass because time is not real
Make your own life it's only what you can feel.

i met a girl like you tonight.
short hair, wild attitude.
i was really never that mad at you.

sounds in the dark
cowardly, yes is he
run to your mother
I am the almighty
fear my gaze
I destroy all
only move in the dark
I cannot fall
there's a fight in my head
and your time is near
I'll punish your all
you have something to fear
let my shadows cast out
you'll have no where to hide
every man, woman, and child
beg thy mercy for you cannot side

Put time on my life

I am dying slow
I can't feel no more
Pain is all I know

Please update the feed

I am not a man
I can barely stand
Do you see my plan?

I hope you hear my screams

Begging stop your ****
The cryings over with
The pieces do not fit

Put time on my life

Misfits of our own culture we don't belonged to society. Never appealing to the normalities or stereotypes of our reality. While the government feeds common people lies to their filtered brains. They are hypnotized by Fox News, Facebook, and Forbes list. Forced to believe what they're fed. Although we never gave into the corruption. Instead we kept our minds open and cultivated our walls with the beliefs of our own.

Speak inside my mind and search for something I have yet to find.  
I have a way of speaking
Made just from thinking
An individual grouped by society
Stereotyped and writing violently
My life a disgrace
But to whom I show my face.
Leave me to the depths I am no longer a man
A fiend for the part that no one understands
**** me please I am in insane
Red slumber my dreams remain.

Constantly in motion
I dream of you
To tame a beast
A beast of no remorse
Never to feel anguish or pain
Walking this earth alone
A beast that does not want
Lonely and hostile
Driven insane and isolated
To teach a monster that cannot love
A beast that is vulnerable
I dream of you
To free the beast
A beast that needs no help
Pushing everyone away
Crying out for help
A beast that has no soul
Searching for another like its own
Incapable of love
A beast that is hopeless
Unmotivated and transparent
Still cannot stop time
I dream of the day
A man is no longer a beast

i feel like i'm going crazy inside my head.
dark thoughts with lucifer,
he stays under my bed.
peel back my skin,
i think i'm already dead.
no time to waste,
i gave my soul to the devil instead.
creepy crawlers under my skin.
demons filling me with sin.
trying to hold back the monster within.
myself.

let me go with the wind
I am the earth
the clouds seem heavy
at peace since birth
as darkness creeps
the wind drags on
the angels mutter
who yet, to dine upon
weeping bells from the west
the ballad plays
I am the creator
love me for thy fake grace

It's nice to know you're doing fine,
I see that you're happy and I'm not on your mind.
It hurts that we don't talk. 
But it's good because we would never stop.
The things I wish I could tell you, 
The countless times I've almost called you.
Many nights that I don't sleep,
Drowning in tears as I weep.
Change is good for the both of us,
Moving on like we discussed.

I know that you'll always be there.
In my heart
In my mind
Somewhere.

Stay strong my queen, 
This world has so much to offer you.

Love is always beautiful in the end,
No matter what.

Take my word for it, we'll find a shallow place down by the sea.
Somewhere nice where the sun fills all cracks of life.
A paradise I dream of. Where time doesn't move and life is love.
Somewhere far from the influences of society.
Somewhere I can be free and let my thoughts sustain.
I am the only factor in the constant rotation of the earth.
A wandering soul looking for another like mine. I am the undertone beneath the words you speak. Feel my breath as if it were your own. Come out of the slump and rise a King. You are a man, a mere mortal with an influence that can touch all.

I get excited about people. New people in my life that I find interesting. It's almost like a high. Spending time with someone and getting to know them. Its weird. I crave an emotional bond with another being. If that makes sense. A feeling of connection. Someone to decipher my thoughts. So I know I'm not the only insane one..

never not once has a god

not once has a god
said stay for me
so when i say don't pray for me
i mean don't stay for me
because i'm all you need
with hatred and all this greed
take care of yourself
but don't pray for me
don't pray for me

it's better that you just stay away from me

i can't help it
my mind is true and i'm selfish
lately i can't help it
life's been too much **** it
so just love it
then **** it
i got all the problems you gave
give me a time and place
so we can meet up and face
the lies we create

i can't tell you how much i love you

but this feeling is above you
i see you texting aggressively
leave me and judge me
i can tell you wanna **** me
just don't pray for me

so don't wait on me
and don't pray for me

A country where we praise the amount we can eat.
Filling our stomach, far beyond the limits.
Where our world is starving
Where we gluttonize until we hurt
Nourishment is now indulgence
Selfish pigs
A society of no moral values
Biased opinions we curse ourselves
Feeding our own minds poison
What hope of change
We aren't mighty
Not flawless
Instead we are human

My mind is careless and my heart is empty.
Unconsciously knowing I've have plenty.
Standing tall here and let nothing get in your way.
Putting my words into a graceful ballet.
Heated and undone but at what cost? So I can sit here and show you all I've lost.
Time is an unbeatable and never ending gift.
Trying to put the weight on your shoulders but the pain comes too swift. 
Constantly being drawn back to the fire.
Showing love and fueling these never ending desires.
Who are we to love in this world or to say what's ours?
Dreaming of possibilities that reality devours.
So dance with me before the storm hits.
Show me all of my sins that love commits.

i wish you knew how my mind worked. i wish you could understand. i'm not sane all of the time. unstable and lonely. the places my mind goes to are dark and scattered.

my mind is on repeat
repeat
repeat
repeat
repeat
repeat
repeat
repeat
my mind it doesn’t not sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep

i don't see them
i don't lift my head
i don't take out my earphones
i don't know why i'm mad
i don't know why i'm different
i don't know who i am
i don't think i'm always the same person
i don't like the other me
i don't like to fight it
i don't think people understand
i don't think they know i'm crazy

Dance with me under the moon and the stars.
Let's take this night and make it an eternity. Listen to the sounds of the dark.

Sweet slow melodies fuel desires. Reflections of our lives are no more.

Nothing matters except the moment present.
Come with me my queen. Where we go is forever. Trust my voice and let go of this world.

Fall into my arms and never let go. I am here now and time moves slow.

i was built fast and i built to last
get your finger and pop my ***
coming down from that last bean
when i wake up i start to fiend
**** my brains
melt my chains
i take this gun
i let it aim
dreams of death
bring out the best
cut my wrists
my brains possessed

you're a heartbreaker and as much as i try to keep from falling,
my vulnerability seeps through my pores.
loosening my grip,
sweating out my insecurities into puddles on the concrete underneath me.
so don't slip,
on the melted walls i once built to hide the fact that i'm alone.

When I sit here, silent and still.
Cares and worries are gone. Nothing matters. No one, no object or anything could hold me back. I'm my own fear. I'm my own pride and fall. I have the power. I am infinite. I'm in control. Who can stop me? Realization of time. Hopes and dreams fall. Heart breaks ****. Depression. Start to ask questions and hate the answers. Plans are changing and it's getting colder. Time is against me. So why do we do the things we do? The distractions and mazes. The pain and the fight. Days of no sleep and still you ask the question. Who can stop me?

I am infinite, I am beyond restrain. 
Powerful with my light, there is no end to my reign. 
I am all who I say I am and more. 
You may only step where I've stepped before. 
I bring the winds and I bring the rain. 
Drown me out and I'll bring you pain. 
Shelter the light, I cause the storms.
Lightning and thunder as the heavens perform. 
Floods in my mind to wash out the pain. 
Step to me again and I'll **** you in vain.
Drop to your knees you'll now down yes you see. 
I am infamous, no one can stop me.

Dance with me now on this day,
Run away with me forever is where we'll stay.
Let's leave reality and just float,
Fly away with me as I've once wrote.
When I lay here all alone everything is new.
No worries, no stress, nothing to keep me blue.
I'm wandering in this world searching for me.
Learning and finding my way in this sea. 
You belong to me as I've said before, 
I'll scream it louder than a thunders roar.
Hear me in this dark time of haste, 
This is our only chance we cannot waste.
Break me down and free my soul,
An eternity is something out of my control. 
I'm screaming and calling your name,
Shrieking to the heavens In my shame. 
Why did I **** what was once mine?
Torture is better than the sun not shine.
Endless seconds I cannot sleep. 
Endless pain you have my heart to keep.