I know it shouldn't matter at this date
Because relations are made on the net
But have you realized
Truly
Really
Realized how amazing having someone you care about around you?
When you are separated from your loved one for a long while, the first thing you do when you see them is
Hug them
Not kiss them
Not say "hi"
Not text it to your friend
Not post it on Facebook
You just hug the hell out of that person
Because humans need contact
We need what we deprive ourselves of knowingly
We hang by ourselves and think it's fine
It's not.
It's never okay.
Hug people
Tell them how you feel, de vive voix
Why linger around when anything could happen?
Tell them
Tell them all
And love them right

I never let anyone get close enough
Not because I don't want them to
But because I know I'll find something to keep me away from them
I know I will find something, anything,
That I will frown upon and reject immediately
I know they'll never be you
I find the smallest default and make it this huge thing I can't get past
They'll never be you
And I can't get over you.
I never let anyone get close enough
Because I can't be hurt again
Because the wound is so deep
And hurts so much
And there's only so much I can take before I die
And I don't want to die
I want to live
But you ruined it
Destroying all my feelings like a Viking on a mission
Setting fire to my emotions
Drowning my hope in your hate
Runining what you could and leaving the field empty
Destroyed
Hopeless
I never let anyone get close enough
Not because I don't want them to
But because they'll never be you
And my body remembers your touch
And my heart remembers your voice
And every little things
And you're not them
And they're not you
And I burn inside
And I died inside
And I wish it wasn't over
But I wish to never see you again

It cannot be hard to fall in love with you.
Your eyes fill my heart with longing, hope, happiness.
I do not know how to be sad when you’re around. Everything smells of Christmas and the ground lights up under the soft touch of your feet.
Looking like a lepreuchaun, by your stance, your enthusiasm, the way you look at everyone like they all matter to you.
You represent the spirit of December.
Your honesty, the way your heart opens up to anyone, so spontaneous and scary... yet absolutely enthrancing.
The way you are everything I am not, the way I dream I could be.
Open, true, real, that’s what you are.
My head is filled with songs of snow, night, stars and lights.
Like walking in the snow under the bright lights on the 23rd of December, when the crowd is out, enjoying the weather with their loved ones, wearing fluffy hats and long scarves.
The coats may be dark, but the faces are flushed, the cheeks are pink, the eyes are bright and shine in the evening.
They shine with joy and excitement.
Just like mine when I look at you.
I don’t need a fireplace.
I don’t need a coat.
I don’t need a hat or some gloves.
I just need to see you believe in me, you believe this is right.
That we are made for this.
Each other.
I need to see the hesitation before you take my hand, the hope I’ll still be here when you open your eyes, as though you were scared I’d fall apart under your touch.
I need to see the slight flinch of your gaze when I hold onto you like a lifeline.
I just need you and your eyes.
Because I am warm in the hope of your eyes.

Everything is my head is different
Thoughts are formed into words that can't be spoken
Everything in my head is more intense
Explosion of colors and emotions that can't be handled
Everything in my head is younger
Asking lots of questions and wondering why, always why
Everthing in my head is black
Darkness made by years of hurt, loneliness and unrequited love
Everything in my head is colorful
Rainbows of lights that guide me back
Home where my heart always lays
Everything in my head is vulnerable
Hearing and seeing all the things humanity does
The good and the bad
The sad and the happy
I can't handle it all because I feel so much so fast so deep for so long and
I
Can't
Breathe.
*(Help me breathe again).

Dreaming is good.
But dreaming is bad, because it hurts.
Dreams die.
You grow up thinking you are invicible, forever amazing.
You grow up realizing it does not work that way.
You grow up to realize the people around you want you to be safe.

Life isn’t about being daring anymore.
Life is about having a safe future.
Pick a safe job.
Live your life.
Enjoy it when you can.

But the fireceness of life leaves you.

Adults burn the fire in you.
Cold water on your dreams, wash them all away.
Adults throw you in the wilderness to make you realize.
Realize life is not a game anymore.
Adults burn the fire in you.
They feed your insecurities.
Cultivate your fears.
Then feed them back to you.
They’re scared. They don’t want you to face a wall of disappointements.
But they won’t let your try, either.
Adults burn the fire in you.
Not consciously.
Slowly.
Mysteriously.
And suddenly you, with all your dreams in your heart, face doubt.

Doubt.

The worst feeling.
Worst than love. Worst than hate.
Doubt.
Sinuously cracking your hopes and dreams.

Doubt, creeping in your mind, burning bridges.

Doubt, expanding every time you hesistate.

Doubt, forever in your head.

Doubt burned my dreams to ashes.

Doubt washed them all away.