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Choking on emptiness
When you need someone so much
When you wish to hold them so much
But they're so far away
And your heart…
It constricts with longing and fear and love and you miss them so much
And you're not complete when they are
Absent.
Absent is awful
They are alive, they are somewhere but
They are not with you
They are present somewhere you are not
And it breaks my heart because she is absent from my life
But present in somebody else's
It's a choice they made
A priority they took
And you didn't win.
Once again you're at the back
And you're nobody's precious person
You have no one to be present for
You have no one to be absent from
You are just here
For yourself.
And I wonder if you know how if it feels to let you go
Pages turn and tables turn
But I stand still
As you disappear into darkness
You were a shooting star
Illuminating the night sky for a second
And long after you were gone
The trace of stardust you left in the sky as you crashed and burned
Is imprinted in my head
Replaying over and over again
Lasting impression of clear light

And I wonder if you know how it feels to let you go
Orpheus and Eurydice's lasting love
Him braving the gates of the Death
Braving the Gods to get her back
Her following him up the stairs towards life
But too scared she wouldn't follow
Turning around a second too early
And remembering a second too late

And I wonder if you know how it feels to let you-
-Turning my back on you and letting you
…(go)…

And I wonder if you know how it feels to let you go
I am the shadow of the person I was with you
When you made me swallow back my love
A small heart too big for my chest I
Am there and I have not let you go I
Am not Oedipus or Hades I
Am a lonely lonely heart.
I have lost you on a ride to happiness I
Have lost you in the heat of life I
Used to play on your skin
And smile at the sight of your beauty I
Used to sleep by your side
And listen to the sounds of your heart
When at night everything was silent but you and
And I wonder
I wonder…
I wonder if you know how it feels to let you *(go).
This one is for you
When you are around me you are
Fire on the floe
You burn too hot to touch but
I'm too cold to get away I
Linger around to get pieces of your warmth
Like ashes floating around
If we are broken we are mercury
We can never been destroyed
Bury us 6 feet under but
We still *RADIATE
If our story lasted only an hour
I would turn the world back on its axis
Again and again
To live this moment
I would breathe it in
Live it out.
I gave you the stars in my eyes
The light in my heart.

You gave me **nothing.
We are all missing something.
We miss a pair of shoes, a lover in our bed, a someone who could have been our future. We miss the way the way he touched you, a holiday that didn't last long enough, a lost earring that would match your outfit. We miss a heart we used to have, a scar that you put there, another that was given to you by someone who never should have touched you. We miss our innocence, the games we used to play as kids. We miss smells of our childhood.
In the end what we miss doesn't matter.
It is still lost.
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