strumming my guitar’s chords
stumbling over countless records

i’ve been bored
stuck to the idea of being that loser
in her eyes
nothing but in her eyes

beaten up for free,
forced to pay a fee
to coat both my hands in chrome

using a snake to clean the rusted strings
using paper to cut
the tips of my fingers
to relieve this bored state
bleeds more than enough

paper cuts do hurt
just the thing
that gives that sting!

sometimes i just need a hug

not the harsh words
maybe i just dont want to listen
to the truth
maybe im just too overwhelmed

sensitive.

i would never ask
for something like this
stabbing teeth into my wrists

like a dog, i follow you,
i admire you
but
sometimes all i need
is a hug

the stars in my hands cut me
as i held them tight
it seemed that all was right

besides the pain
i held them with all my might.

let them go.
they only hurt you.

your hands held enough.

you don’t need to carry them
you don’t have to carry them

they did nothing but to mark you

with patterns that tell a story
a story that you may not like to remember
the past that held your neck
so tight your breath couldn’t last

in the end,
the stars were always yours.

my whole life
all i ever did was fight

to defend them, i thought
to protect them

but the tears only fell on my cheeks
on my face
on my heart

mentally,
physically,
im not okay

my whole life
all i ever did was fight

i could say so much stuff
so much lies
so much hate

perhaps the lullaby
the lullaby my mother sang
taught me how to be kind

the woods are on fire
the animals are on fire

so much lies
so much hate

perhaps
perhaps the gentle coos
the gentle coos of their mothers
taught them to be kind

they will remain kind.
i will remain kind.

driven by instinct,
or driven by heart.

ASPHYXIATE ME

EVERYTHING
EVERYTHING TO MAKE YOU STAY

STAY WITH ME

ASPHYXIATE ME

the coffee-stained picture of us tells stories
stories of misery,
pain
but isn’t that what love is all about?

the coffee stained your face
like the alcohol to your mind

i can’t see you in the picture
i don’t see you in the picture anymore

its hidden on the pocket of my heart
the pocket that I swore,
i swore it wouldn’t fade

but I forgot your voice,
your face,
your eyes

it did fade.
and you knew it would.

liar.